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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (5145)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (43666)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (54608)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

#15642936
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (3048)

On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (17262)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (5771)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (4557)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64241) - you deserved it (6308)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

#15624701
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (17385)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm - misc - by QWERTY -

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, I laid in bed all night texting my drunk boyfriend and drunk best friend. They were at two different parties, neither of which I was invited to. FML

#15494104
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by mylifesucks -

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30605) - you deserved it (5277)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52362) - you deserved it (3202)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -



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