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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15950) - you deserved it (8003)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (2717)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5740) - you deserved it (24116)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11609) - you deserved it (43406)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7110) - you deserved it (16276)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (972)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

#13848931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/15/2010 at 1:48am - misc - by mynameisarmpit (man) -

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12770) - you deserved it (4671)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (2294)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

#13843258
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (27919)

On 11/14/2010 at 6:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -



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