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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (3612)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (65017)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

#14795725
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (5450)

On 02/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by Username -

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (3617)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML

#14791115
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (5704)

On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (2555)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36370) - you deserved it (13987)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (7313)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31940) - you deserved it (4981)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (5191)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#14726296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username -



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