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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

#13972992
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (2846)

On 11/25/2010 at 9:48am - animals - by Seline -

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

#13972453
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (1621)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - misc - by Tom -

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

#13971755
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (1793)

On 11/25/2010 at 5:25am - work - by Peter -

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (5723)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (1755)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML

#13946366
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (1990)

On 11/23/2010 at 4:32am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (9625)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (3074)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -

Today, I admitted to my boyfriend of three years that I have been suffering from depression for a while now. He took it as a good time to dump me. FML

#13939076
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:39pm - love - by Username -

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

#13935466
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (5379)

On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

#13897942
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (7373)

On 11/19/2010 at 8:55am - misc - by Tay Tay -

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (11280)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (2573)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -



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