Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

#14918600
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (3525)

On 02/10/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by onehitwonder -

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (7322)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

#14902184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (2821)

On 02/08/2011 at 10:27pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

#14893456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (2863)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (29049)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

#14888727
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (5807)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by Hopeless -

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

#14886336
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (7243)

On 02/07/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by um -

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

#14872504
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by bymyself -

Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML

#14871372
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/06/2011 at 7:58pm - love - by dumbass -

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68511) - you deserved it (6291)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

#14836415
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (72317)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - work - by Username -

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

#14836412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -



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