Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

#15194289
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (2819)

On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

#15185285
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (16015)

On 03/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Emily -

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (5952)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (3231)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (7399)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (8845)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (9523)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

#15169301
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (8517)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by thelunarwolf -

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

#15162285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (3505)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by assumed -

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (5459)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51127) - you deserved it (14423)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

#15158966
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (4290)

On 03/01/2011 at 1:26am - love - by j -

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

#15158351
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (4763)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:29am - love - by cockalicious -



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: