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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (2036)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

#14365094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28333) - you deserved it (2036)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by SharpeOne -

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

#14354901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

#14353774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28159) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

#14350386
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (6079)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by cloud7 -

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (1903)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

#14308182
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/23/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Username -

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

#14306986
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36435) - you deserved it (6868)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by David H. -

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32178) - you deserved it (1855)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21457) - you deserved it (6373)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (5706)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (3078)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -



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