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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (1524)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10089) - you deserved it (41822)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (1591)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his Cubical. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2328)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3698)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (38474)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14019965
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22146) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:11am - health - by unknown951 -

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (2664)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (4938)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

#14018478
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (4876)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:03am - health - by caliibbyy -

Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML

#14014833
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (1283)

On 11/28/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by moshgra -

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (16399)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -



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