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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9734) - you deserved it (32431)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

#14148009
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5865) - you deserved it (59733)

On 12/09/2010 at 10:19pm - money - by fmlguy -

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

#14138501
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (7727)

On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

#14138227
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (4105)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:33am - love - by owew -

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

#14129124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (12640)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:47am - intimacy - by khaelian -

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (4772)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (14355)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16194) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

#14114880
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3768)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:25am - love - by 1fungi -

Today, after years of hard work, I had an interview at the highest ranking university in the world 800 miles from where I live. It snowed heavily for the last 2 days closing every road, railway, and airport causing me to miss the interview. There is no rescheduling. FML

#14110903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (1960)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:37pm - work - by hulio88 -

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49063) - you deserved it (8405)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

#14103618
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (1925)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (20367)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -



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