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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (58162)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14485) - you deserved it (26524)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

#14654282
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (29840)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8564) - you deserved it (25667)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19981) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

#14606368
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm - misc - by sam -

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

#14562835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:21am - kids - by notapedobear -

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

#14552210
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (3748)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (36461)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -



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