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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (1735)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

#14308182
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/23/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Username -

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

#14306986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (6435)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by David H. -

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (8016)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (1830)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (6139)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (5486)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19617) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

#14269836
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26534) - you deserved it (2173)

On 12/20/2010 at 6:23am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19189) - you deserved it (4542)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (4716)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

#14228655
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:28pm - animals - by Annonymous -



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