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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (45661)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

#16232451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (5992)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:13am - love - by me -

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15289) - you deserved it (49070)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

#16219785
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (11563)

On 05/17/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by SexyQueen0905 -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (10936)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (8421)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

#16215643
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (5921)

On 05/16/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by t -

Today, our cable, internet, and home phone got shut off because my mother-in-law decided that since we are moving, it was easier to not pay the bill rather than close the account. We're not moving for another month and the account was under my name. FML

#16204645
116 comments

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (38649)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (8837)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (64847)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11122) - you deserved it (30614)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -



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