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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34547) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (3793)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML

#15000870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (10627)

On 02/16/2011 at 9:26am - health - by mojolady -

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (36193)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

#14998091
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15672) - you deserved it (37302)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Jade -

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (3669)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML

#14989370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11813) - you deserved it (38148)

On 02/15/2011 at 10:30am - love - by Dj sMoZ! -

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

#14987191
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

#14986533
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (21952)

On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9193) - you deserved it (31879)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (3626)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

#14932385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34845) - you deserved it (5509)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:02am - animals - by Jen -

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (3517)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -



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