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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (7054)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (15630)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (38253)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, while at an important meeting at work, I got to watch helplessly as a police officer gave me a parking meter ticket. Added to that my boss chewed me out for "never paying attention and staring out the window during meetings". FML

#15756717
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (10484)

On 04/12/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by Kevin -

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

#15752266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (7834)

On 04/12/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by anon -

Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML

#15749336
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (11565)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

#15744069
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (2349)

On 04/11/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by sproket -

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (7824)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

#15693187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44403) - you deserved it (3759)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:03am - love - by hopeless -

Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML

#15692090
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (5243)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:58am - work - by Fired -

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37664) - you deserved it (5164)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (41574)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (75374)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -



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