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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42189) - you deserved it (4332)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (3996)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (3409)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (45808)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21647) - you deserved it (35731)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (6677)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (15111)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

#16263514
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (40756)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46am - work - by SkyDiver -

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45973) - you deserved it (3585)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (26733)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11268) - you deserved it (77896)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12795) - you deserved it (67873)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -



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