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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (7076)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (4596)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

#15147036
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (2149)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (45898)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

#15106533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (5127)

On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (3677)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46853) - you deserved it (4277)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (11664)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML

#15074279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (12823)

On 02/22/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

#15070074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (2510)

On 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by EpicFailTime -

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (5319)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

#15062503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (3185)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:22am - misc - by meme71 -



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