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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37314) - you deserved it (3257)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (3244)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (5724)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

#15244433
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (42673)

On 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm - misc - by Trippy Penguin -

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (3801)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

#15231026
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (12153)

On 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm - misc - by chelsea -

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (2645)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49349) - you deserved it (10161)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

#15194289
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (2629)

On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

#15185285
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (15149)

On 03/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Emily -

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -



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