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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (20523)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (2208)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (3136)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (2724)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (28023)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (3917)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33346) - you deserved it (3840)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (15527)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12955) - you deserved it (42226)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (17880)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43185) - you deserved it (3002)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (2705)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -



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