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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

#14808267
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (4466)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (2678)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (51425)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

#14795725
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22654) - you deserved it (4268)

On 02/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by Username -

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (2795)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2821)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML

#14791115
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (5081)

On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (4117)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (11027)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (5891)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (4403)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19813) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -



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