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Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (3796)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

#15231026
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29131) - you deserved it (12135)

On 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm - misc - by chelsea -

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (2642)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48851) - you deserved it (10063)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

#15194289
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33296) - you deserved it (2628)

On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

#15185285
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (15120)

On 03/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Emily -

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (5640)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (3024)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (7131)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23818) - you deserved it (8617)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27086) - you deserved it (9120)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

#15169301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (8159)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by thelunarwolf -

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

#15162285
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32418) - you deserved it (3300)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by assumed -



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