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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

#15871718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (9623)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:55am - love - by Username -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (12865)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (3299)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9556) - you deserved it (35199)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (22595)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (29656)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (15880)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (3989)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

#15838713
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (7905)

On 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm - kids - by Jukka -

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58733) - you deserved it (4408)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML

#15831964
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38428) - you deserved it (20693)

On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -

Today, my boyfriend punched a hole in a door. This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made. We are 4 months into our year lease. I don't think we are getting our $720 deposit back. FML

#15781081
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (17672)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:59am - money - by Username -

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46707) - you deserved it (7043)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -



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