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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (6402)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (3263)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8220) - you deserved it (38867)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

#15881226
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33681) - you deserved it (21672)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:08am - intimacy - by HotACE -

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

#15871718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (9627)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:55am - love - by Username -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (12868)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (3300)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9562) - you deserved it (35216)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14010) - you deserved it (22607)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (29674)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (15886)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (3990)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

#15838713
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (7907)

On 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm - kids - by Jukka -



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