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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (4273)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59625) - you deserved it (5874)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

#15624701
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (16318)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm - misc - by QWERTY -

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, I laid in bed all night texting my drunk boyfriend and drunk best friend. They were at two different parties, neither of which I was invited to. FML

#15494104
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by mylifesucks -

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (4927)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51752) - you deserved it (3998)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I received yet more mail for my ex-fiancé. We've been broken up for nearly a year and I've told him multiple times to change his address. Getting his mail is a constant reminder that I haven't dated since. FML

#15462231
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (5447)

On 03/24/2011 at 4:53am - love - by zks -

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

#15447160
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

#15442986
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (3504)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by anon -

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

#15437013
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53914) - you deserved it (3769)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -



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