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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (3411)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

#15945280
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (6663)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -

Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML

#15943696
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (16289)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21am - money - by uncbballwins -

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (5152)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49492) - you deserved it (5809)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (4006)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33954) - you deserved it (7000)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32525) - you deserved it (3611)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84669) - you deserved it (6345)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (6521)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -



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