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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

#16128552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (14214)

On 05/11/2011 at 11:19am - misc - by NotChadKrouger -

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (4816)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (11572)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

#16113761
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (10963)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:12am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

#16112747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13668) - you deserved it (23411)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm - work - by helen -

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (7761)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

#16101857
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by Username -

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (3294)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (6802)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

#16063448
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (4151)

On 05/06/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Koda -

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (3177)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (4659)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -



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