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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML

#15363711
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (12327)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I was moving to the city with all my belongings when the trailer came unhitched, breaking the chains on my dad's homemade trailer. I then watched as the trailer narrowly missed a guardrail, went down a hill and into a river. My dad still won't admit he didn't latch the hitch. FML

#15350791
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (3867)

On 03/17/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by johnsj8 -

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (4723)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (11204)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (5572)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (3280)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

#15320061
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (12918)

On 03/15/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by nocakeforyou! -

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13562) - you deserved it (68845)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

#15304136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31608) - you deserved it (5118)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:53am - love - by Username -

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53250) - you deserved it (8313)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12891) - you deserved it (23920)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

#15273802
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (7214)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (2570)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -



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