Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

#15320061
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (12917)

On 03/15/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by nocakeforyou! -

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13560) - you deserved it (68831)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

#15304136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (5117)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:53am - love - by Username -

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53223) - you deserved it (8313)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12882) - you deserved it (23909)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

#15273802
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (7214)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (2570)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (19444)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

#15260624
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (3686)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:17am - misc - by hackling fellow -

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (5383)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47151) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: