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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (44820)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

#16009098
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (7644)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by dirtyclothess -

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46420) - you deserved it (4934)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (8905)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (42553)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (3408)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

#15945280
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (6660)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -

Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML

#15943696
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (15910)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21am - money - by uncbballwins -

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (5149)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (4002)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (6996)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -



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