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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13013) - you deserved it (67387)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

#15304136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (4718)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:53am - love - by Username -

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49544) - you deserved it (7925)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12143) - you deserved it (22616)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

#15273802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (5807)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (2253)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (4009)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (17743)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

#15260624
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29362) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:17am - misc - by hackling fellow -

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38655) - you deserved it (5170)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (3058)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45328) - you deserved it (3113)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43938) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -



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