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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

#15410065
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (3679)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

#15365098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (7108)

On 03/18/2011 at 8:36am - love - by anon -

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (9703)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML

#15363711
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (12311)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I was moving to the city with all my belongings when the trailer came unhitched, breaking the chains on my dad's homemade trailer. I then watched as the trailer narrowly missed a guardrail, went down a hill and into a river. My dad still won't admit he didn't latch the hitch. FML

#15350791
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/17/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by johnsj8 -

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (4707)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41580) - you deserved it (11181)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (5562)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

#15320061
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (12909)

On 03/15/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by nocakeforyou! -

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13545) - you deserved it (68748)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

#15304136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (5114)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:53am - love - by Username -

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52889) - you deserved it (8291)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -



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