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Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (3089)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (2984)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (4655)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

#16039154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (3602)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Username -

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (5380)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

#16030351
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (28605)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:15am - love - by cbolig -

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

#16030306
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (2460)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:04am - misc - by Mayshod -

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (7238)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (9724)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (44851)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

#16009098
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (7650)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by dirtyclothess -

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46467) - you deserved it (4936)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (8907)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -



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