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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (6879)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (3604)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (4896)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83339) - you deserved it (6244)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (6394)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (3260)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (40311)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

#15881226
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (20851)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:08am - intimacy - by HotACE -

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

#15871718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (9489)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:55am - love - by Username -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (12319)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (35155)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -



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