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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (65313)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (3963)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML

#16340201
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (6807)

On 05/25/2011 at 7:34am - work - by oh dang /: -

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51981) - you deserved it (17619)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it; I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

#16338936
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/25/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by kylie b -

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (49515)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (7566)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (4915)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47026) - you deserved it (2917)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (4112)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (3810)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -



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