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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (8631)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (39622)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

#15945280
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (6267)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -

Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML

#15943696
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (14530)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21am - money - by uncbballwins -

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (4775)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (4503)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36857) - you deserved it (3773)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (2887)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (3229)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (4700)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -



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