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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (3746)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (14490)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11173) - you deserved it (39216)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32123) - you deserved it (17196)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (2762)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

#16437933
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (4829)

On 05/31/2011 at 5:12pm - misc - by Loveandpoetry -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (8075)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (65351)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (3965)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML

#16340201
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (6811)

On 05/25/2011 at 7:34am - work - by oh dang /: -

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52007) - you deserved it (17620)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -



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