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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (6546)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

#16063448
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (4130)

On 05/06/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Koda -

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2968)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (4628)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

#16039154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (3581)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Username -

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (5208)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

#16030351
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18632) - you deserved it (27727)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:15am - love - by cbolig -

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

#16030306
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27036) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:04am - misc - by Mayshod -

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34308) - you deserved it (7219)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (9701)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14816) - you deserved it (44572)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -



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