Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you deserved it (25674)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (3749)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34117) - you deserved it (15045)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11178) - you deserved it (39229)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (17204)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (2762)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

#16437933
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (4832)

On 05/31/2011 at 5:12pm - misc - by Loveandpoetry -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (8076)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (65378)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: