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Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

#16219785
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (10546)

On 05/17/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by SexyQueen0905 -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (10290)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44960) - you deserved it (7967)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

#16215643
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (5635)

On 05/16/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by t -

Today, our cable, internet, and home phone got shut off because my mother-in-law decided that since we are moving, it was easier to not pay the bill rather than close the account. We're not moving for another month and the account was under my name. FML

#16204645
116 comments

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (36345)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (8320)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20309) - you deserved it (60925)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (27558)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I realized my 3 year old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year old father. FML

#16197778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (5776)

On 05/15/2011 at 11:40pm - kids - by blewidstepr (woman) -

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

#16155788
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (5357)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:27am - work - by Smile No More -

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (6104)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (14670)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -



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