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Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (8566)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (4917)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (1914)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (6470)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

#21421325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (3755)

On 06/05/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by yuck (woman) -

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2487)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

#21419508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (10329)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (1715)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

#21407351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (2079)

On 05/09/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (3435)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

#21404242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (2380)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by double trouble -

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14896) - you deserved it (30166)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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