FMLs submitted from

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

by anon / 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm / Health

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

by someone euthanize me / 01/16/2016 at 3:17am / Health

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

by DatAss / 01/15/2016 at 5:56am / Kids

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

by Vitani_Verci / 01/15/2016 at 1:57am / Kids

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 9:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should've walked. FML

by krfenton8 / 01/11/2016 at 1:49am / Transportation

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML

by makdra / 01/06/2016 at 1:01pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 9:15am / Love

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

by -__- / 12/26/2015 at 8:41am / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

by swimmonster81 / 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm / Money

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

by imahater07 / 12/25/2015 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous