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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (4293)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (2646)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26166) - you deserved it (2489)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (5081) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (10572)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33077) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14621) - you deserved it (33826)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -

Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML

#19054787
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (10979)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:43am - money - by IHateBeingAStudent (woman) -

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (3800)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (5814)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (7912)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (3512)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -



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