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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

#16140473
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (4999)

On 05/12/2011 at 3:54am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I called a possible employer I had an interview with about a week ago to see if I had got the job that I have already been trained for. Her response? "Are you sure I interviewed you?" FML

#16139951
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (2417)

On 05/12/2011 at 2:17am - work - by Username -

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (20377)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

#16136460
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (11606)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:20pm - health - by anonymous -

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

#16128552
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (13434)

On 05/11/2011 at 11:19am - misc - by NotChadKrouger -

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (9218)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

#16113761
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (10235)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:12am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

#16112747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11122) - you deserved it (19461)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm - work - by helen -

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (6322)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

#16101857
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (2879)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by Username -

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (2974)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6330)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -



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