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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (25604)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (3637)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (3605)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (14471)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (39136)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (16727)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39805) - you deserved it (2752)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2448)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

#16437933
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (4817)

On 05/31/2011 at 5:12pm - misc - by Loveandpoetry -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40158) - you deserved it (8068)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (64647)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -



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