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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (2910)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (3662)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, I failed my driving test before even leaving the DMV parking lot. FML

#18275233
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12040) - you deserved it (26530)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by that guy -

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (19117)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20141) - you deserved it (2450)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (25591)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (4191)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (3636)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3603)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -



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