Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (38731)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7174) - you deserved it (51818)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (4077) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (6186)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (2394) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (2560)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (2481)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (4934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: