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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (39008)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (16686)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39406) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (2416)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

#16437933
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (4814)

On 05/31/2011 at 5:12pm - misc - by Loveandpoetry -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (8052)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (63883)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (3943)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML

#16340201
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (6790)

On 05/25/2011 at 7:34am - work - by oh dang /: -

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51700) - you deserved it (17563)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it; I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

#16338936
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (3877)

On 05/25/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by kylie b -

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (47919)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (7543)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -



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