Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (3667)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (3579)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

#18931517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/28/2012 at 3:35am - intimacy - by BigDT (man) -

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6860) - you deserved it (74339)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40267) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

#18577886
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2474)

On 12/22/2011 at 7:04am - misc - by JackSteely -

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (44323)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

#18404759
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (2336)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:00pm - misc - by Aaron -

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

#18374674
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (32497)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:31am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

#18344763
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/25/2011 at 5:24am - animals - by crimsoncon -



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