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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, I failed my driving test before even leaving the DMV parking lot. FML

#18275233
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (26064)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by that guy -

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (3285)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (18125)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19428) - you deserved it (1901)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (2365)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (25175)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

#16527989
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (3482)

On 06/06/2011 at 10:18am - love - by Mick (woman) -

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (3201)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (14208)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -



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