FMLs submitted from

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 2:51am / Geek

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

by Turnaround / 11/07/2014 at 7:28am / Love

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

by fuckshit / 11/04/2014 at 9:01am / Geek

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

by literature / 11/03/2014 at 6:04am / Work

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

by grossedout / 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm / Love

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

by DanTheMan / 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm / Love

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

by axewoman / 10/17/2014 at 4:14am / Love

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

by burritobreasts / 10/15/2014 at 2:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

by thnxbabe / 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm / Love

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

by ohtheirony / 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm / Love