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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (2280)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (2208)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6099) - you deserved it (38729)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (3592)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (3535)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (2615)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

#18931517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/28/2012 at 3:35am - intimacy - by BigDT (man) -

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (74149)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (3871) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

#18577886
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32157) - you deserved it (2384)

On 12/22/2011 at 7:04am - misc - by JackSteely -

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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