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Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (16330)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13039) - you deserved it (32893)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (5074)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (4507)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (6713)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (4538)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (2925)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (1989)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (1728)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (1569)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (4033)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -



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