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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (11036)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (42511)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40187) - you deserved it (11073)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (18428)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49479) - you deserved it (3253)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (3264)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45603) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44833) - you deserved it (7068)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49861) - you deserved it (9163)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46173) - you deserved it (3490)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52288) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48680) - you deserved it (4112)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -



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