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Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (5734)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (7747)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (2191)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (1735)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5910) - you deserved it (38141)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (3431)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18130) - you deserved it (2934)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (3350)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (2501)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

#18931517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (3327)

On 01/28/2012 at 3:35am - intimacy - by BigDT (man) -

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (73735)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -



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