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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

#21071401
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (5123)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm - misc - by ashleylynn17 (woman) -

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (4488)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (51850)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45830) - you deserved it (13821)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46931) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (6295)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (4131)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (11347)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (7036)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (9400)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49951) - you deserved it (5780)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -



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