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Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35068) - you deserved it (5218)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37291) - you deserved it (4613)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (3912)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (5674)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

#21080041
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35328) - you deserved it (8478)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML

#21077693
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (4223)

On 03/04/2014 at 8:37am - kids - by :/ -

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

#21071401
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (4852)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm - misc - by ashleylynn17 (woman) -

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39548) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (4249)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (49053)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (13108)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (3857)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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