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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (1438)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (1968)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

#21445322
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10873) - you deserved it (47254)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2425)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML

#21441771
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/14/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by trappedinmyownhome (woman) -

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

#21439963
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (3091)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:44am - misc - by annoyedgf -

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (1923)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

#21435445
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (1428)

On 07/02/2015 at 4:25pm - love - by soo -

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (5452)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (4358)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -



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