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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (2978) - you deserved it (360) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I saw a little boy, clear as day, walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (5804) - you deserved it (1706)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (4814) - you deserved it (1219)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (4748) - you deserved it (548)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (6336) - you deserved it (587)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (7136) - you deserved it (1429) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606 (600)

I agree, your life sucks (3295) - you deserved it (14171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (1828)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (7174) - you deserved it (2831)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (7588) - you deserved it (697)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (4145) - you deserved it (8518)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -