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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

#21525372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (4846)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:50am - love - by oblivious idiot -

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#21522820
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (1943)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

#21521208
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

#21520891
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm - misc - by Why (man) -

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

#21516615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (1242)

On 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm - health - by anon -

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

#21515811
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19383) - you deserved it (7432)

On 01/16/2016 at 3:17am - health - by someone euthanize me -

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

#21515486
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/15/2016 at 5:56am - kids - by DatAss (woman) -

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

#21515446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (1617)

On 01/15/2016 at 1:57am - kids - by Vitani_Verci -

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

#21514262
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (1751)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should've walked. FML

#21513822
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (3637)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:49am - misc - by krfenton8 -

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

#21512854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (3219)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML

#21512120
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/06/2016 at 1:01pm - misc - by makdra (woman) -

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

#21509012
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (1399)

On 12/29/2015 at 9:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) -



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