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Illustrated FML (265) - About FMyLife (35) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

The 30th of July was Jackass Day!

Here at FMyLife, we always wanted to be journalists, but we suck at it, so these are the only questions we could come up with for the Jackass crew:

Who's your least favorite neighbor and why?
My next door neighbor. He never cleans up his yard, it looks like crap, and he's not very friendly.

What the longest you've gone without having a drink?
Hmmm, too drunk to remember.

My mum can't use a computer without panicking, any tips on how to teach her?
Tell her to head on over to jackassworld.com, the kids there will explain it all.

What's the hardest, heartbreak of testicular torsion?
I don't have any personal experience, but I'd think un-twisting your balls would be the worst part.

Do you Google yourself?
Not as much as you do.

Do you have any pets, and do you talk to them when no one's around?
I'll ignore you and talk to them when you are around.

What's your favorite Christmas memory?
My mom and dad made pot brownies while I went to church with my grandmother on Christmas Eve in 1977. The house smelled like brownies when I got home and I demanded one immediately. Who can deny a kid a brownie on Christmas Eve?

Do you still own a VHS machine?
Yes, I like to watch my VHS copy of Thrashin’.  I hook it up to my video projector, project Thrashin’ on my wall, put on my demin jacket, and think how rad it would be to be a Dagger.

Is Facebook the first installment in the end of the world?
"F" that, jackassworld.com is most definitely the first installment. Just check out the community members you'll see what I mean.

Is Billy Idol a forgotten genius, and should be reintroduced as a positive role model?
Don't know if he's a genius, but more of a gnarly dude in tight leather pants. Hotness. His Generation X material should be reintroduced to the public.

Where does wind come from?
The shifting of cool and warm air masses and your mama's butt.

Do think that we're all going to be okay, or will a meteorite kill us all eventually?
We'll be just fine. And if you don't believe me, just take three of these on a full stomach once you begin feeling nervous and worried. Let me know when you run out and I'll get you more.

What song got stuck in your brain recently, despite all efforts to avoid such an occurrence?
The emergency broadcasting system tone is a bitch.

If Elton John dialed a wrong number and ended up calling you, what would you ask him?
What number did you dial?

Why do people listen to Nickelback?
To find out what hell sounds like.

Is happiness at the bottom of a glass?
I don’t know about a glass, but when I was a kid there used to be this soda pop company called Jolly Good. One of its key marketing points was that at the bottom of every can a printed joke could be found. Despite the tried-and-true nature of many of these jokes, I was still a pretty morose kid. So don’t go looking for happiness at the bottom of an aluminum can. If anything you’ll probably just get Alzheimer’s.

If we gave you 50 dollars, what would you spend it on?
Well, if I didn’t already get this crap for free, I would log onto the jackassworld.com online store where you can buy all sorts of hot shit merchandise with exclusive designs created by Johnny Knoxville and the other artistic a-holes on the jackassworld crew. You can customize everything from T-shirts to postage stamps (but not canoe paddles) and have shit like “Wolfie Noodles” and “Suck It” printed on them. America, what a country!

Are strippers overrated?
Human beings in general are overrated.

Are people who own iPhones cool or assholes?
Discounting the fact that most all of my friends are assholes and own iPhones, I would have to say they’re no better or worse than the people who express concern over such things in the first place.

Do you know the way to San José?
No, but you know how there are all those sites like www.guesshermuff.blogspot.com and www.isshefilthy.blogspot.com? Low-grade porn they may be, but I find there’s a certain amount of sociological relevance in the pictorial questions posed. First and foremost: Never judge a book by its cover, no matter how wholesome it may appear to be. That said, I’ve always wondered if Dionne Warwick gave “nosejobs” in addition to blowjobs. Damn those nostrils are fierce.

How soon is now?
Wait no more! The Disposable Skateboard Bible is out now and available from Gingko Press. It took me over two years to compile and produce, but it was well worth the amount of work that went into it and I’m more than happy with the end printed result. For further information: www.disposablethebook.com.

Who's your most popular hate figure?
When it comes to hated clowns, no one beats the KKK. Grand Wizards? How can they take themselves seriously? That sounds as silly as a bunch of middle-aged men sitting around and stressing over what players to pick for their Fantasy Football draft.

Do you have any irrational fears?
Yes. I cannot order anything off of a menu that has an obscenely cute or clever name. Denny’s is an absolute nightmare for me.

Do you have a current project that you'd like to talk about to the FML users to generate some publicity, make some money, and spend it all on margaritas?
Margaritas aren’t necessarily my cup of tea—I’ll take a top shelf vodka and cranberry, thanks—but yeah, here you go: The all-new jackassworld pranks application is available now! Download this Facebook compatible app for free at: http://www.jackassworld.com/pages/prank-application

What's the nicest compliment you could make about FMylife so that people will think we're really cool people?
Look, just because you’re scratching our back doesn’t mean we have to give you a courtesy reach around. Just be glad you didn’t name your site PMSLife. Period blood can be a real drag.

 

 

The all-new jackassworld pranks application is available now!

#171 - Special guests - On 07/29/2009 at 6:02pm by FML Team - 48 comments

The 30th of July is the JACKASS day!

On the 30th of July, the Jackass team will be taking over the driving seat on FMyLife.com and selecting their favorite FMLs for the day, so be warned.


Jackass
, for most people, is a type of donkey, a stupid or idiotic person, but we don't care about them. For us, Jackass is a famous television series, originally shown on MTV, featuring people performing various dangerous, crude, ridiculous, and self-injuring stunts and pranks, eventually launching two movies and several spin-offs.

FMyLife is joining forces with the Jackass Team to bring you their selection of the latest FMLs on the 30th of July, so be prepared for some new, high octane stories.

Jackass official website : http://www.jackassworld.com/

#162 - Special guests - On 07/28/2009 at 3:23pm by FML Team - 99 comments

The results are in

The “pull your nuttiest face” competition ended a couple of days ago, and we have to admit that we had a great time validating all of your photos. 122 confirmed participants fighting over an iPod, personalized FML books, Spreadshirt t-shirts and M&M’s, you have to admit that this is quite unheard of! All the votes are now in, and except for a few sneaky people who tried to cheat and were eradicated with a nuclear powered grenade launcher, everything went smoothly.

   

Here are the prizes, as well as examples of the personalized edition and t-shirts.

Before giving out the results, we’d like to thank our two partners, Random House who as a matter of fact have just launched the personalized edition of the FMyLife book, as well as Spreadshirt for the tee-shirts that you can order 24/7 in our shop.

 

Ranking :

1st prize, a yellow nano-chromatic iPod with a special engraving just for you: "Today, I won a contest and all I got is this iPod. FML"

Rank: 1

Author: millliown

Average mark: 3.68/5

From the 2nd to the 10th prize: a special edition of the FML book with your photo printed inside (or a picture of your choice). Add a photo, create a dedication, and they'll do the rest. You'll have your own one-of-a-kind personalized edition! See a demo here.

Rank: 2

Author: hoo_haa911

Average mark: 3.49/5

Rank: 3

Author: elratt

Average mark: 3.33/5

Rank: 4

Author: vallyloo

Average mark: 3.24/5

Rank: 5

Author: NGM_47

Average mark: 3.18/5

Rank: 6

Author: bradley914

Average mark: 3.18/5

Rank: 7

Author: kremi

Average mark: 3.1/5

Rank: 8

Author: fizzylizzy95

Average mark: 3.07/5

Rank: 9

Author: candiceemoe

Average mark: 3.06/5

Rank: 10

Author: hellostuart

Average mark: 3.06/5

From the 11th to the 20th prize: an FML t-shirt saying "Today, I didn’t win the iPod in the FML competition, just this t-shirt. FML" or another text of your choice.

Rank: 11

Author: mattethew

Average mark: 2.99/5

Rank: 12

Author: dancinrenee19

Average mark: 2.97/5

Rank: 13

Author: DrummerQuinn

Average mark: 2.91/5

Rank: 14

Author: merkywater37

Average mark: 2.9/5

Rank: 15

Author: twistedfall

Average mark: 2.9/5

Rank: 16

Author: badphishbubbles

Average mark: 2.86/5

Rank: 17

Author: hellostuart

Average mark: 2.86/5

Rank: 18

Author: c00k

Average mark: 2.81/5

Rank: 19

Author: bradley914

Average mark: 2.81/5

Rank: 20

Author: bradley1023

Average mark: 2.79/5

From the 21st to the 30th prize: a packet of M&M's containing only yellow M&M's, with FML written on them (which is pretty classy).

Rank: 21

Author: paekjons

Average mark: 2.74/5

Rank: 22

Author: bittersweetmeh

Average mark: 2.72/5

Rank: 23

Author: alyssabeth

Average mark: 2.7/5

Rank: 24

Author: FMyLife_King

Average mark: 2.7/5

Rank: 25

Author: curlyygirll309

Average mark: 2.66/5

Rank: 26

Author: Michbella1

Average mark: 2.66/5

Rank: 27

Author: mag400

Average mark: 2.64/5

Rank: 28

Author: SkaterBoY7

Average mark: 2.64/5

Rank: 29

Author: CrazyXChickaa77

Average mark: 2.64/5

Rank: 30

Author: tazmanner2

Average mark: 2.6/5

 

 


What happens now?
The people who won the iPod and the M&M’s will be receiving a package in the following weeks. For the t-shirts, we will send you directly via email a voucher allowing you to create the t-shirt of your choice in our shop, and receive it free of charge. As for the personalized book, you will soon get an email explaining you how to insert the photo of your choice.

#159 - Competitions - On 07/27/2009 at 9:54pm by FML team - 30 comments

Sweet and Sour FML

So, you thought we’d left you? You are truly cute, we'd never leave you, especially on our saturday-kind-of-sunday illustration. Today, we're not writing the article from the beach, too posh. This time, we're modestly writing the artist's biography from our sunny terrace, a mojito in one hand (because piña coladas were so last week), the other on a random chick's waist. Right, we're writing with our noses. As you might have noticed, FML has the privilege of receiving talented artists that we love to present to you. Today is no exception. Everybody, please welcome our new artist, which a holiday didn't prevent from making us a great illustration, Henry R. Frew!

It's from Billings, Montana, USA, that Henry, our 27-year-old artist, responded to our curious questions. Henry's an animator and game designer for Fleetwood Gaming Inc. They make video poker and keno machines and games for casinos. Basically, what Henry does is create the little characters that run around the screen during the games that help the player understand what’s occurring, entertain them, celebrate with them when they win big and things like that. Then, when darkness comes, our everyday guy from Montana puts on his tights, his fluorescent underwear and becomes the superhero that he always dreamed of being, the superhero that needs to save blank pieces of paper by filling them with awesome drawings. That's right, he's a freelance comics and animation projects creator, and you may think that it's the same as his day job, but don't get it wrong, these projects are totally different, so he gets to learn a lot.

As a matter of fact, Henry doesn't complain about his life, as he loves what he does. He enjoys creating new characters and bringing them to life in animation. The casino games don't tell much of a story, so you have to just throw a lot of personality into the character and figure out the actions and animations that represent that personality as quickly as possible. Next time you bet twice your annual salary on such a game, you'll have Henry in mind while you'll see animated characters dancing around your screen. ?But Henry's ambition doesn't stop there. He would like to be animating for TV or films, as he loves telling stories and using animation to tell them.

You liked Henry's illustration? You'll love Henry's blog. This recently married artist has been displaying his amazing work on deviantart for 5 years now, an easy way to show your work online and get feedback. And as Henry says, "it's great to be able to communicate and get inspired by other artists so quickly. I've got a group of friends online from it." And if that wasn't enough, he's also a proud member of the Sketch Tavern, a tavern full of beers and great artists, and what else would you need? Other than games, he also got a comic book, which is about halfway finished, and he's working on a short film based on the same character.

Last question because yes every good articles have an end, why did Henry choose this FML?
"They're were a lot of great ones.  As I reading though them, but this one was so absurd I could totally see happening and I thought it worked great visually. I immedately thought of pulling back and revealing STARBUCKS! And hoped it would be as funny in comic form as it was written!"

It is. Thank you Henry !

Here is Henry's blog, don't forget to check it out: http://hen-hen.deviantart.com/
Sketch Tavern is this way: http://www.sketchtavern.com/

 

Did you dream that you were next Saturday's artist again? Don't wait any further and send an email, including your name, your age and the link to your blog/website to alice@fmylife.com. And here's a tip: do it now!

#156 - Illustrated FML - On 07/25/2009 at 3:39pm by FML Team - 4 comments

FML and his tanned friend

Hello everybody! You know what we love here at FML? Two things: the beach and a wifi access, because it allows us to write our traditional Saturday article in our swimsuits, lying down on the hot sand, a piña colada in our hand, hidden behind our sunglasses checking out the hot girls and guys playing in the waves. It's from this idyllic environment that we're going to introduce you to our sweaty and tanned artist for today. After we finish our cocktails. Okay here we go: ladies, gentleman, topless chicks, here is today's artist: Brian Brown aka Box Brown!

Box Brown is 29, he's thus got one year left before he officially becomes an adult. He spent most of his life in Jersey City, NJ, visiting Manhattan as often as possible. Then he met a girl in Brooklyn and turned all starry-eyed, finally following her to Philadelphia, PA.

Box Brown is a cartoonist and illustrator. That's what he tells people when they ask, but in fact, he makes most of his money from his day job, which some of you will secretly be jealous of: he works at an adult video distributor. And for those who are wondering, yes, it has a lot of perks. Our artist would love to spend 15 hours a day making comics, but he has to input information about porn movies into a database for 8 straight (or gay, or tranny) hours every day. But with this really hard job, you have to be able to space out and becoming a man machine whose sole purpose is to input porn nympho. Erm, info.

 

Besides his amazing job, Box Brown owns a website modestly called Box Brown, which he created to promote his comics.  Not that he likes comics, he loves them, and he loves making comics and talking about comics and sometimes whining about comics. He felt he needed an online home to go on and ramble about stuff like that. He is currently shopping around his second graphic novel to publishers. His first, which technically isn't a graphic novel, is called "Love is a Peculiar Type of Thing." (Available on his website and at fine comic shops everywhere). He also updates his web comic 3 days a week.

Now here our last question before we go fishing bikinis in the ocean, why did our artist choose this story?
"It reminded me the most of my own life. Plus, there was a lot of FMLs that were so whiny! This one just seemed sincere and funny.  Poor Elvis the cat!"

click on this preview !

At least, Elvis the angry cat ended up in a FML illustration thanks to you Box Brown!

 

Don't forget to visit Box Brown's most intimate part, his website:http://boxbrown.com/

 

And now here's a little instruction manual on how to be our next published artist: send an email to alice@fmylife.com which starts with a hello and ends with a goodbye, including your name, age, and a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. It's not that complicated is it? Don't waste any more time and send an email now!

#151 - Illustrated FML - On 07/18/2009 at 5:57pm by FML Team - 12 comments


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