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Free FML hugs!

Awww, hugs, how cute is that? It's just makes us want to cuddle kitties and listen to Michael Bublé, while eating chocolate mousse in our cozy sofa. Except when testes are involved. Why do people always have to bring up a pair of testicles or phallic figures in every single moment of life? You're on the underground, and a guy takes off his pants (and you know you look like a fool with your pants on the ground etc.); you're in public toilets, and notice that someone drew a male organ on the wall; FML's articles, they always about sexual relationships. It’s everywhere. And to discuss this plague, today we're welcoming Matthew Inman, TheOatmeal.com's creator!




Matthew, 27 years old, grew up in Idaho, where he confesses people ride cheap beer and throw up tractors on farm animals, or the other way round probably, we don't remember. He then moved to Seattle and finally to Washington, where he's been settled for about 10 years now.
You sure do know Matthew Inman, he runs TheOatmeal.com. You know, he's the guy who does everything for a website; he codes, draws, markets, strokes, bathes, offers it flowers and gropes it all day, every day. He used to make websites for a living, but that sucked harder than something that sucks really hard so he decided to quit. He then created an online dating site in order to make a giant pile of money and get the ladies. The dating site was a success and went on to be one of the most popular free dating sites in the US, and eventually it got acquired by a bigger company, so he took all his ladies and money and decided to make The Oatmeal.  The ladies left because he ate too much mayonnaise and they didn't like how he always mouth-breathed and stared vacantly at the cat. Suffice it to say, the Oatmeal is a solo project again.
Matthew never went to college, and he has been creating things for the web since he was 13 years old. After high school, he moved to Seattle to pursue a career as a web developer. He wrote a lot of (bad) Perl and abused many of his design clients before deciding he didn't want to work with people anymore. After the dating site was a success, he figured he would replicate the method he used to market it but make an entire site dedicated to that. He made his dating site popular through viral quizzes and comics, so he wanted to create a site dedicated to just those, rather than awkwardly fitting them inside the marketing strategy of another company.



Besides the fact he can get all the girls, mayonnaise and cats he wants thanks to his websites, Matthew also loves having the ability to put something together and then minutes later publish it online and get massive amounts of exposure.  His website gets nearly 5 million unique visitors a month and 20 million page views. He also likes being able to translate his personality into bears, unicorns, jelly beans, plague rats, or whatever else makes people laugh.


Right now, TheOatmeal.com is Matthew's main project. The goal with the site was to no longer do anything involved in SEO or web design, and thanks to the power of viral marketing, The Oatmeal has definitely become his full-time job. He got featured on comedy central's website a couple of times and he has been on Digg, Reddit, The Huffington Post, and a bazillion other blogs and website, so no more clients ever again - at least not in the near future. He would love to start creating animated shorts soon, however…
Dating sites, Matt does know what it's all about, you post a profile picture (his comics on this page will be enough), after which you talk about what you like in life, such as rainbows, kitties and tits, (forget the last one, it will be a surprise when you'll see her and her twins on your first date, don't forget to hug them too!). So, what does Matthew like in life?
"Snowboarding, sushi, illustration, and I study Japanese.  I'm also into triathlons and marathon running, and I completed my first half-ironman in August. I also like to eat peanut butter from the jar and brush my toe hair into unique shapes and patterns." Ladies, you better make a move quick, a guy like this won't be single much longer after this article.



"-Oh no! This week's interview is almost finished. Tell us Mat', why did you choose this FML?
-Because I wish we lived in a world where my junk could dangle in the wind, but unfortunately people get all bent out of shape when they see a pair of testicles they didn't expect.  (Get it? "bent out of shape"   DA-DUM-KSH)
- Funny. We got it. Why did you decide to send an illustration to FML?
-I think your site is funny, plus you guys get a buttcraptaco of traffic so the benefit of the exchange seemed mutual. I actually made a comic that used the line FML a few years ago before it had become a meme
: http://mingle2.com/dating/phases "

 

You were made for us, and we were made for you. Thank you Matthew for you participation !

 

Wanna visit a website including dinosaurs, assassin cats, pigs wearing hat, dolphins getting beaten-up? Don't wait a minute more and visit Matthew's awesome website: http://theoatmeal.com/

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with our lovely Alice, who will tell you what you have to do!

#351 - Illustrated FML - On 02/11/2010 at 4:19am by FML Team - 9 comments

FML and his Olisbos

It's not because it's fake that you won't enjoy it. If you think about it, our environment is kind of 90% fake. GMO: fake. Chocolate cigarettes: fake. Jennifer Aniston's nose: fake. Zombies in a horror movie: fake. Simon Cowell's compassion: fake. So, why shouldn't a plastic phallus be in? And by "in" we mean, "in fashion" of course, don't take it in the wrong way. And by "the wrong way" we mean, don't get naughty here. Ok, we're digging ourselves deeper. Ladies, gentleman, Sex and the City fans, please welcome today's artist, Caldwell Tanner!

 

Caldwell is 23. He is a recent transplant to New York City by way of Nashville, TN. Our artist of the day works as an Editorial Illustrator for a website that you all already know, CollegeHumor.com. Thanks to his awesome job, he spends most of his day staring at photoshopped documents and redrawing lines with his wacom tablet.Caldwell has been drawing cartoons ever since he was about 7 or 8. He spent a good year learning how to draw perfect replicas of the entire cast of Sonic the Hedgehog and just kept going from there. However, he didn't really get serious about drawing until he was probably a junior in High School. One of his friends showed him Penny Arcade, the first web comic he ever read, and it more or less changed everything he knew about comic strips. When he went to college, he started drawing comics for the school paper, and eventually online. Occasionally, he would take breaks from drawing to eat bad Chinese food, act in a comedy sketch troupe, and even go to class. Occasionally, of course.



Loldwell, our artist's personal website, has only been around for about 6 months. It is still an internet baby. Please don't speak too loudly as it is trying to take a nap in the other room.When he is not making comics and illustrations for CollegeHumor, Caldwell is making comics and illustrations for Loldwell.com. When he is not doing that, he is designing a giant banner that reads "Caldwell really doesn't do anything other than draw comics." He also has a few secret projects that help keep him from ever getting any sleep.

 

"-Time to find your soulmate Caldwell, tell us more about you, what do you like doing in life for example?
-I love drawing! But when my hand gets too cramped, I also like watching cartoons, reading comics, and falling asleep playing DS. I also love making people laugh, and as long as I people keep finding me funny, I'll stick with that. One day I'd love to actually sit down and draw an entire graphic novel, but for now my attention span has a four-panel maximum.
- And why did you choose this FML?
- I was staring at a list of FMLs and this one jumped out at me visually, for obvious reasons. It was very challenging to illustrate a sex toy store without making the image completely repulsive, but I think I did okay!
- We think you did great. Why did you decided to send an illustration for FML?
- Sometimes you just gotta spread the internet love, and I personally can't think of a better way than by illustrating the darkest moment in some stranger's life for all the internet to see
."

 

You sure understood the Internet Caldwell. Thank you for your illustration!

 

Click here to visit an awesome website: http://loldwell.com/

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with Alice, who told her English teacher to take a look at this article (HELLO MARGARET) who will tell you what you have to do!

#344 - Illustrated FML - On 02/05/2010 at 1:00pm by FML Team - 3 comments

Caricature my FML

"Caricature noun:
/?kær.?.k?.t???r /US pronunciation symbol/?ker.?.k?.t??r/ n [C or U] (the art of making) a drawing or written or spoken description of someone, which makes part of their appearance or character more noticeable than it really is, and which usually makes them look silly".
And boy, that poor girl must have looked silly with all those pimples, but at least, for someone doing math studies, it probably helps to look like a calculator. To talk about those serious issues, acne AND caricature, we receive today an artist specialized in pure gorgeous art, and when she deals with acne, the result is pretty funny. Ladies, gentleman, teenagers, please welcome Lois van Baarle!


Lois is 24 and she's our first artist from The Netherlands, Utrecht to be more precise. She is a freelance illustrator and animator, (anybody HIRE HER!). She enjoys having a lot of freedom and time to do her own thing as many many of us. But she gets paid for it most of the time. Being a freelance illustrator means you don't have to go to an office every day and work for a boss you hate and eat at the cafeteria your whole life, which she likes being able to avoid. She is also lucky enough to have job opportunities coming her way most of the time and it's understandable when you take a look at her amazing talent. 


She has drawn her whole life and after high school decided to study animation in Holland. She did this for four years and now she's basically drawing all the time. We guess it's the story of any motivated commercial artist and we recommend you: guys, wanna be the greatest artist of all time? Draw as much as you can, with any kind of paper/pen you have, one day, you'll realize that you went from 0 to 10. You'll thank us later.

 

At the moment Lois is doing some small-scale work for games and illustrations, as well as making her own animated short trilogy, Trichrome, of which she has already finished the first one, and you can check it out here . Her personal website has been around since 2002, when her little sister taught her the joys of basic html. Ever since then she has been expanding her web presence in all kind of way: she has a sketchblog , personal blog , a whole bunch of networking site accounts (myspace and such), as well as deviantart to which she is totally addicted. She also created her personal website to make cool layouts, something she is quite hooked on doing.



Lois likes drawing, but also being absurdly lazy. There is nothing better than sleeping in to a heinously late hour on a Saturday, having a huge breakfast/lunch kind of thing in bed, and walking around in pyjamas for the rest of the day. Besides this extremely guilty pleasure, she also likes to travel in Europe and Africa, watch movies and ride her bicycle (Holland power) like a true dutchie.

 

"-Last question, but not the least, Lois, why did you choose this FML?
-For two reasons: I had acne as a young teenager, so I could feel this person's pain; also, it had to do with art, caricature drawing, which seemed to fit with what I do. I was approached to illustrate something and loved the idea of FML. There's nothing like a bit of bitter humor to brighten your day."

 

Actually there's also chocolate. Let's read FML stories about chocolate. Thank you for your participation Lois!

 

Lois' website is waiting for you: http://loish.net/

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with Alice, who told her English teacher to take a look at this article (HELLO MARGARET) who will tell you what you have to do!

#337 - Illustrated FML - On 01/28/2010 at 2:57pm by FML Team - 14 comments

Don't watch this or you might lose an eye

As you all know, being a member of FML is like being part of a weird family. But as in every family, there’s the drunk uncle who falls over at every party, swears at people and tries to start a fight. The comments section is a bit like that. This video is an affectionate look at what goes on in there between members, but despite everything that happens, it brings the community together. Most of the time. So enjoy!

#330 - About FMyLife - On 01/22/2010 at 5:28am by FML Team - 66 comments

FML in a gastric context

"Oops, I swallowed it again. I played with my ring, got lost in my intestine, oh 911 911." Sometimes this is what happens when you're playing with something so small near your mouth, that one yawn makes you swallow it. If it's edible, don't panic, you're just stupid but not in danger yet. If it's a battery, coin or a Celine Dion CD you're in trouble. Unfortunately, having babies or animals around makes you be twice more careful than usual if you don't want your hamster get eaten by your cat, your cat eaten by your dog or your dog eaten by your baby. Shit happens, but we never know when. To talk about what we're calling "the bowel's call" a young British graphic-designer joins us today, ladies, gentleman, babies, please welcome Matt Needle!

 

Matt is a 22 year old British graphic designer and illustrator based in Cardiff, United Kingdom, Europe, Earth, Universe. He went to the University Of Wales, Newport, where he has been freelancing since the second year of his University Course, and now he does it on a fulltime basis. Matt is now proud to say he gained a First Class Honours in Design and Illustration.
Since this graduation, his work (posters, CD covers, mural illustrations ..) profile and portfolio have gone from strength to strength, exhibiting all over the United Kingdom, Europe and recently in Australia, as well as working for Major worldwide clients, such as Amnesty International, Armani, Hugo boss etc. No biggie then.



Creating images has been his passion since childhood, so yes, he pretty much loves the fact that he's getting paid (and sometimes laid) for making pictures. As many artists and graphic designers of our time, Matt is heavily inspired by the things he sees around him and he strives to create beautiful, meaningful, complex and often bizarre pieces. He's also particularly excited about films and music, and would like, in the near future, to work within the movie business, maybe in directing or in the art direction department.
Our artist of the day has a great "inspirational artist" list: Salvador Dali, Escher, Massimo Vignelli, Saul Bass, Milton Glaser, Terry Gilliam, Bauhaus, Surrealism, Paul Rand, amongst many others, and if you don't know one of this genius', don't waste your time any longer by being uncultured and Google them.



One thing you'll realize about Matt's art is that he's kind of abstract in the way he communicates ideas, not because it's trendy, but because he wants people to really think about and analyze what they are viewing. He is so not happy unless he is creating stuff.
His favourite means of creating a piece would be either digital (in Photoshop) or hand assemblage or "collage" as it's more commonly known. This gives his work the perfect balance of depth and abstractness. These are techniques that we would recommend to any budding graphic-designer (if you want to be successful and get a lot of money, of course).


Recently, our British graphic-designer worked on projects for Hugo Boss, Clash Magazine, Tiger Beer, Funkbuddha Film Productions, The Big Chill Festival and many more. As he gained some major popularity, a website became necessary. Since its inception, it has played a vital role in his promotion and networking, and he also uses social networking sites such as twitter, facebook and society 6 to communicate with like-minded people. Plus, Matt is really super cool, so if you have any questions about his job, career or one of his creations, don't hesitate in contacting him, he'll be thrilled to answer you.

 

Once more, FML has hosted a great artist for our traditional illustration day. Some of them are young and still in high school, some of them work for Armani and others published their 4th book recently (and guess what? You can buy it!). But they have one thing in common: they all have a great sense of humor and they did not pick the FML story they were going to illustrate randomly:
"I chose this particular FML to illustrate as it wasn't too wacky, strange, perverted or dark. I wanted to take something semi-ordinary and abstract it."


 

Thank you for your participation Matt, we loved it!

Don't forget to visit Matt's website and blog : http://www.mattneedle.co.uk    http://needle1.wordpress.com/

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with Alice, who will tell you what you have to do!

#323 - Illustrated FML - On 01/17/2010 at 5:16am by FML Team - 5 comments


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