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Illustrated FML (259) - About FMyLife (34) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (11) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Kira's illustrated FML

Helloooooo darlings! Yes, I know, it's been ages since we welcomed a new amazingly-talented-artist together! One week? Well, okay, maybe not ages but it's certainly felt like it. Plus, today's artist is one of our current crushes, so we can't wait to introduce her (we even thought about publishing the article on friday, but you know, TFIF, party, beer, etc.). She's young, she's canadian, she has a unique and poetic artstyle and she draws Sherlock fan-art... basically she's the perfect woman. Anyway, there are other things to know about her, so let's start the interview!

-What are your name, surname and nickname?
-My name's Kira Buro, and the only thing I've ever had in the way of nicknames is "Kiwi", which dates back all the way to elementary school and my Neopets age... a little bit embarrassing. 

 

-How old are you?
-I'm 17!

 

-Where do you live?
-I'm from Alberta, Canada.

 

-What do you do?
-I'm currently a full-time student in highschool, but in the free time I can garner I do freelance artistry! Most of the money I make comes from commissioned work that I advertise through my tumblr. I'm thinking of starting a print shop or selling originals of my sketchbook pages but I'm not sure how to get that set up quite yet.

 

 

-What's your journey?
-What a question! Well ... I think I'm just starting to understand what it means to be an artist in a world of so many relentlessly talented people. After having attended the CSSSA Animation 2013 program, I realized that a community of artists is an amazing thing, full of creative energy and endlessly inspiring - and that's the kind of vibrancy I want to surround myself with and contribute to. Personally, I've overcome a lot of personal pitfalls and setbacks and I'm trying to learn that no matter how many mistakes you've made in the past, every day is a new opportunity to recreate yourself and improve. I think it's okay to be a completely different person from one day to the next - you don't owe anyone an explanation for trying to find out who you are. I don't know. It's all a big mess at the moment, but I'm doing my best to find my way through everything and come out on the other side knowing that I've grown. Some things just take time.

 

-What are your inspirations?
-I find inspiration everywhere I go - I try to turn the every-day into art. If I'd have to pick an all time favourite artist, it would have to be Gustav Klimt. 

 

-Do you read webcomics?
-No I don't, sorry!

 

 

-Tell us more about your presence on the web!
-I originally made a tumblr as a space for me to post the doodles and fanart that I'd do periodically- eventually, though, I got very tired of dedicating so much of my time and energy into art that I wasn't serious about, despite a small fanbase that had grown accustomed to it. I started posting my original works: paintings, both digital and traditional, and my sketchbook pages. These started getting far more recognition than I had ever expected and I've been posting solely original work ever since. It's a really great confidence booster knowing people like my original work as much or even more than they liked my fanart! What I'm doing in the way of selling my art hasn't gone beyond commissioned work - but, again, I'm working on setting up a print shop if there's enough interest.

 

-How do you work?
-For my traditional work, I typically just go straight to ballpoint pen. I find the finality and the dark quality of the ink poses more of a challenge and a richer end result than my pencil work - and it's taught me to try to make every line count. Occasionally, I dabble in watercolour paints and pencil crayon. My digital media is created primarily in Paint Tool SAI using a very beat-up 7-year-old tablet that I am hoping to replace! Methodically, I just work from one line to the next.

 

-Why did you choose this FML story?
-It reminded me of my own brother, a little bit, when we were kids.

 

-Thank you very much Kira for taking part!

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Kira's tumblr http://scrickiras.tumblr.com/

 

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1434 - Illustrated FML - On 02/13/2014 at 1:37am by Alice - 7 comments

Leonard's Illustrated FML

Hi gang! Another week, another illustrator! Once again, we're going over to France to meet someone from VDM, our sister website, or should I say, the mothership! This week it's Leonard's turn.

Yes, I know what you're all thinking. No, it's not that guy from that awful TV show, it's a cool twenty-something French guy who lives in the wonderful city of Paris (I'm only saying that because I live in Paris too and it's such a cool place to live, it's like a Disneyland for boozehounds). 

So, welcome Leonard! Who is this guy, and what does he want from us? Nothing much, really. He doesn't work in a field that has anything to do with comics, unfortunately. Which means that, "What I lack is time. I wish that there were more that 24 hours in a day. 48 hours would be nice." He likes telling stories, though. "Knowing (a little) how to draw allows me to create my own stories and that's cool! I use my imagination, culture, desires and use all that to create a story and make it into something quite personal." He gets quite a kick out out the fact that he's made it all by himself, with his own two hands. And also the fact that sometimes people pay actual money for his drawings!

Newswise, what's cooking? Well, as his amateur status is still in place, he doesn't have much going at the moment. He has his blog, and he has a comic book called "Pirate2.0" which he posts once a week on his blog and on webcomics.fr. He has projects though, especially one which he intends to put in a lot of work for: a total overhaul of Pirate2.0, the plot, the drawing, characters... "There won't be a lot left in common with the first version!" he reckons. He then intends to present it to publishers. Fingers crossed.

Oh, one extra quality to Leonard: he owns a cat. Or he is owned by a cat. Or is he? The eternal conundrum. Or is it? Limmy has the answer to that question. "I used to prefer cats," says Leonard, "but ever since I've got one and he's pissed on my bed and clawed at my Calvin and Hobbes collection, I think I prefer dogs."

Hmmm. We can all empathize with that, even if you don't live with a cat.

Leonard is an ex-History student, so we can expect some historically accurate comics from him in the future. We can't wait. In the meantime, we present you with his illustrated FML, and what a corker it is:

 

To see Leonard's illustrated FML, click here.

 

That's it for this week! I know, short article but Leonard isn't much of a talker, he's a thinker, see? Instead, I'll leave with a song, an old clip of Charlie Brooker on "My Sweet 16", and a link to the best old-school troller on the Internet. See you next week!

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1433 - Illustrated FML - On 02/06/2014 at 5:49am by FMyLife - 9 comments

The Best of the Worst #2

A few months back, we published an article containing a selection of rejected FMLs, which were all a bunch of odd submissions that probably never should’ve seen the light of day. Some contained terrible spelling, grammar and no actual stories. It was like reading the ramblings of a drunken horse, and most of them were without a doubt just plain weird. All were deemed funny enough to be revealed to the public, so we did. The article was so successful with you lot that we’ve decided to do it again. Yay! 

As we’d said at the time, looking through FMLs for something to publish is a bit like being a gold digger, sifting through the mud. Sometimes you get a gold nugget; sometimes you get a lump of shit. However, in some cases you get shit-shaped gold. Damn fine shit. This is that shit. Read on, but be warned, you might need shades.

 

Fad diets

yesterday, i was eating cats. i ate 3 then i ate 2, then i 1, and then i threw up. it was good. i had hairballs. yay me!

Needs more cowbell

On valentines day I got my girl friend a gift, it was a $899 ring, I looked all around school, and couldnt find her. I called her after school. She said she had moved. Her plane destin for new york had crashed and she was killed.

 

RIP, nutsack

Today, i died by cutting my balls off. FML

 

Goats head stew

Today, i found out that one of my good friends is OK with people drowning goats in vinegar in order to prep them to be eaten. This is not OK. FML

 

Horsing around

Today an asian kid decides to spit on me. So I decide to chase after him. He knows the area around better than I do and he quickly dodges out of the way. Right before a large male horse. I go face first into his rectum. Turns out the horse liked it and started ejaculating on my backpack FML

 

Lonely as a cloud

Today, I was looking out my window and i noticed a very dark cloud. I looked at and said that a big cloud. I leave the room come back and its the biggest cloud I’ve seen in a year, and the stupid thing is, i got scared of a cloud. I though it was gonna hurt me. FML

 

Robin Thicke writes an FML

So, it has been a while since I have had a proper lay. Tonight I was watching TV and just honey as fuck! So I started masturbating. Right as I was getting into it……. “adopt a starving third world kid” commercials come on. Man can’t I just get some real dick and not deal with this crap?

 

Captain Sensitive

Today I walked out to my car to get my generic vicodin. I took a look around at my old, small, home town. 20 minutes later I wrote a poem. FML

 

The ghost of horniness past

Today, a man in a powdered wig claiming to be the past life incarnation of myself propositioned me for sex. FML

 

The Emma Delusion

Hard to believe but im in a relationship with a famous actor. She is in actor for the Harry Potter Series! Well, unfortunatley she doesnt want to come out to the public about our relationship. I continuously tell her i LOVE HER. BUT she never replies with the same answer.FML FML FML FML FML FML

 

There. Will that do for now? Do your eyes and brainbox hurt like after a Mogwai concert? The good news is that as of now, once a month, we’re going to publish another selection of 10 oddball submissions from the recesses of the FML mailbag. Happy now? 

Oh, and another thing: these stories have all been carefully collected since the beginning of FML in 2009, so there’s no point trying to submit weird FMLs to try and get published in an upcoming article! Now that that's clear, see you next time. Now go outside and kick a ball or something.

 

 

Bonus not-really-hidden track:

 

One born every minute

Today, I will kill myself if my message doesn’t appear on Fmylife. If you click no, I will haunt your nightmares.

#1431 - About FMyLife - On 01/29/2014 at 6:15am by Alan - 112 comments

Mr.Deathbulge's illustrated FML

Hello everyone! How was your week? So-so? Cool? Great? Let's hope it was as amazing as today's artist. Last week we received Jeff Mumm, who inspired us with his unique journey; today, it's all about Dan Martin. His web comic Deathbulge is one of our favorites. Absurd, dark humor; simple art style, but oh-so-very expressive; we'd like to think he's a worthy successor of Cyanide & Happiness. Let's check his interview out, you'll see for yourself!

 

 

-What is your name, surname, as well as your nickname on the world wide web?
-My real name is Dan Martin. Though a lot of people don't know that and call me things like Mr. Deathbulge, which is FINE BY ME. I love it. I picked the name Deathbulge because the comic was originally a story about a death metal band, and I just wanted to think up a metal band name that made me giggle, and that was the only one that managed to. Check out Mr. Standards over here.

 

-How old are you?
-I am 25.

 

-Where do you live?
-I live in Surrey, UK. The town I live in is actually German for MURDERING. Which is pretty cool/foreshadowing.

 

-What do you do for a living?
-My job is the webcomics at the moment. I quit my little retail gig back in August 2013 to pursue the dream and make a living out of drawing comics. It's a tall order and I'm still a long ways off yet, but hopefully the merchandise I plan on selling in the near future will help. Failing that I'll most likely have to get a part-time job to help me out a bit.

 

 

-What's your journey?
-I don't really know! But as long as I'm pursuing creative urges, always challenging myself and making people laugh, it's all good. It would be great to branch out with Deathbulge at some point, break into animation or something. In fact I really REALLY want to make some sort of Deathbulge RPG game at some point. It's ambitious, but I'm determined to get one done before I snuff it.

 

-What are your inspirations?
-The readers mostly. Knowing that there's so many people checking out my comics. It's the greatest motivator ever to keep doing my thing no matter what. Especially when they take the time to send me mail or Facebook/Twitter messages saying how much they like the comics, ah man. I love that Deathbulge has gone down so well with people. I really do. I LOVE YOU ALL THERE I SAID IT.

 

-I think they love you back (including me) Do you read web comics? If so, which ones?
-
Before Deathbulge (or pre-bulge as I like to call it) it was all about Perry Bible Fellowship, Nedroid and Cyanide & Happiness. I pretty much read NOTHING outside of those three. But once I started making my own comics, before I knew it I was super involved with the community and there's all sorts of comics I check out on the regular. Mercworks, Up and Out and Whomp! to name a few, and maybe Pandyland if he updated more often >: (.

 

 

-What else can you tell us about Deathbulge?
-There's not much to say about the site other than that I update it with comics every Monday and Friday. Though I do like to throw in a few surprises to keep things fun, every once in a while you'll see an animated comic, or a comic with some dodgy experimental shading techniques. As for why I started webcomics, it's strange. Deathbulge just felt like something I had to do. I felt that I could make a decent webcomic series if I just went for it. So I did. But to actually reach the level of popularity that I have and in such a short space of time. Bloody fantastic.

 

-How do you work?
-I like to be prepared. I've never liked leaving things till the last minute. I'm always striving to work up a backlog of comics as much as possible, so the comics are done and ready to post days/weeks before they are due. Less stressful that way! It's especially handy for when I get an idea for a comic that is particularly lengthy, I have time on my side so I can afford to be super fussy with the details and get it done properly, rather than rush it and not do the joke justice.

 

-Why did you choose this FML story?
-It just sounded like the most fun to draw in terms of visuals. It painted quite the picture! I threw in a fish for good measure. Sega Bass Fishing representin'.

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Hell yes Deathbulge is here http://www.deathbulge.com/

 

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1430 - Illustrated FML - On 01/24/2014 at 1:37am by Alice - 12 comments

FML is 5

A few years ago, an idea sparked in a young man’s mind...

His heart was pure, his hair was proud and made of 100% alpaca. His name was Maxime (AKA Kittenheart). He brought FML to the world. It spread like a rash at a swingers party. But that was then; this is now. Now is the time to rejoice. It’s been 5 years. Five glorious years of FMLs, mishaps, mistakes, laughs, guffaws and blood-curdling cringing. In his song of the same name, David Bowie sings of "telephones, opera house, favourite melodies. I saw boys, toys, electric irons and TVs." which pretty much sums up a large part of FML’s content. We’ve had so much fun supplying you with these stories that we’ve barely felt these 5 wonderful years fly by. So today, as we’re so happy to be living in an age of lists and robots, we’re going to treat you to some bits and bobs from us here at FML, things you might not know, things you haven’t seen, and things you might want to forget...

 

The 5 longest-serving FML mods, when they were 5

The FML mod team has had quite a few members, but the longest serving have been around since the beginning. They were all 5 once, so here are their mugshots, as well as their own personal FML from that year.

 
 

The 5 record-breaking FMLs

The most agreed-upon one

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying, "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks

The most deserved one

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge

The most commented on one

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly

The most shared one

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans

The most concise one

Today, I shat a magnet. FML
by mimi

 

The 5 secret facts about FML you shouldn’t know about

- At one time or another, the mods on FML have all been under the influence of booze, drink, or, to put it another way, have drunk drinks to a drunken state and picked stories and published them. It’s not big and it’s not clever, but it happens. Do you understand now why some stories make it onto the website?
- As the website is taken care of 24/7, it also happens that mods will access FML using whatever means they can get their mittens on. And in whatever place they happen to be in. On a bus, at a My Bloody Valentine gig, during dinner at a restaurant, and sometimes while sat on the toilet. Which may explain why FML is littered with references to “dumps” and “being dumped”.
- For every regular, polite message we get sent to our support e-mail address, we also get one which contains a barrage of insults. (Percentages of which are : assholes: 10%, fuck you: 50%, blow me: 10%, get a real job: 30%.)
- The mods don’t always agree on which stories should be published. There are often more insults traded between them than there are in the support inbox.
- Members of the FML team have tried time and time again to submit their own FMLs (crapola happens to us too), but have never received enough votes to justify them being published. So, to date, none have been published. 

 

The 5 reasons why you've been banned

“HOW IS THIS AN FML?”

Well, let’s take a look. It appears that the story starts with “Today”, ends with “FML”, and has been posted on a website called FMyLife.com, after having been selected by readers and moderators of said website. How can it not be an FML? That’s the textbook definition of an FML. Don’t get us wrong, but do you question everything? Do you walk up to other people at their place of employment and question their professional judgment?
“Excuse me doc, but how is this the flu? My nose is blocked, my head hurts, I have a fever and I’m coughing. Surely it’s gout!”
“Excuse me cat, but in what way is this a hug request? You’re not doing it properly! I make the rules!”

“SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE!”

It’s so obvious that you don’t even care about giving rational, thought-out arguments. Unless you have solid proof that a story is a fake, your opinion is just that: an opinion. And opinions are not facts. Onions are facts. Talk to us about onions, and then we’ll listen.

“OP is a **** ******! F*** you and your f****** mother, you ***** of s***!”

Do we really need to explain this one?

“But what about my freedom of speech?”

If you’ll excuse the use of a tired may-may: "Boy, that escalated quickly." Please don't repost or argue about a comment that has been moderated; it's like coming to a knife fight with a banana. Freedom of speech doesn’t apply to a website that doesn’t belong to you. Can we come over to your house and write stuff on your walls? Thought not.

“FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE"

Dammit, who let that “person” back in again?


The 5 FML members' duckfaces that made us giggle the most this week



Remember: these simply made us quack up, and we don't wish anyone to feel offended. So try to go easy with the comments, guys.

And now, on to the birthday party. Time to break out the non-alcoholic beer, get some streamers and confetti, put on some music, and start awkwardly dancing. Yeah, it’s party central at FML headquarters; we know how to get down and boogie. Anyway, it’s been a wonderful 5 years with all of you. We hope you’ve enjoyed them as much as we have, and that we’ll carry on in much the same fashion for another 5 (at least!).

Until the next instalment in our adventures together, be excellent to each other!

#1429 - About FMyLife - On 01/23/2014 at 9:19am by The FML Team - 231 comments


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Friday 1 August 2014

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