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Caption today's FML Photo


Hi there! FML still thinks it's on vacation in the sun, and that you are too, but we're going to give you something new to play with in the shape of a picture to caption. Concentrate, bring your A game.
 

How does this work?

We're putting up a picture, which is a photo an intern found. Nothing containing famous people or anything off the TV. Just a quad bike and its rider covered in mud. At least we hope it's mud. Come up with a funny caption for the photo, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why there shouldn't be any comedic geniuses amongst you. Or is that genii ?


Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:


Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

#1603 - Pictures - On 08/08/2016 at 9:50am by Alan - 107 comments

Caption today's FML Photo


Whazzzzza?! FML is still stuck on references from the '90s, but we're going to give you something new to play with in the shape of a picture to caption. There's only one to have a go at, so we can avoid messing around with several photos, several captions, several headaches. Concentrate, bring your A game.
 

How does this work?

We're putting up a picture, which is a photo an intern found on the internet. Nothing containing family members or anything off the TV. Just a washing machine on fire. Come up with a funny caption for the photo, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why there shouldn't be any comedic geniuses amongst you. Or is that genii ?


Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:


Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

#1602 - Pictures - On 08/01/2016 at 9:09am by Alan - 128 comments

Caption today's FML Photo


Hi gang! FML is giving you yet another opportunity to caption a picture. As last time, there's only one, so we can avoid messing around with several photos, several captions, several headaches.
 

How does this work?

We're putting up a picture, which is a stock photo found in a dumpster or something. Nothing containing celebrities or anything recognisable. Just a car with "stuff" on it. Just come up with a funny caption for the photo, using the "Today, FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got. There's no reason why there shouldn't be any comedy geniuses amongst you.


Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:


Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or IN RESPONSE TO the captions in the first few positions TO BE MORE VISIBLE, will be disqualified/deleted. Comment on the article, not the comments, so the votes actually count.

#1601 - About FMyLife - On 07/04/2016 at 10:25am by Alan - 91 comments

Xianyou's illustrated FML #2

The illustrated FML is back! ! On a Thursday as well! FML is such a world of surprises, we've always said so. I've had quite a few messages these past few days wondering where the illustrated FML had disappeared to, why we weren't posting any anymore, and whether I had a girlfriend. The simple answer is that it's complicated. OK, it's not that complicated, but there's a lot of demand and not a lot of supply. Come on, get your crayons out and send us your work! This week we're being revisited by someone who is well into manga stuff, which if I'm not mistaken is some sort of garlic-based dish. Let's have a look, then.

XIANYOU'S ILLUSTRATED FML #2

"Is this supposed to be the bit where I confess things? OK... might as well get down to it then! *unravels a 10 kilometre-long parchment*"

Self-portrait Xianyou by Fanny

 


Xianyou is a young lady that also goes by the very amusing French name of Fanny. No giggling at the back. She explains her nickname: "People often ask me where my nickname comes from, but when I tell them, that it was a badly-spelt Xiaoyu from Tekken that I wrote when signing up to my first chatrooms, weirdly, people get this odd look on their faces. And I've also heard from Google Maps that Xianyou is also a district in China." 

Her info:
WebsiteXianyou's Blog
Her illustrated FML: The one with the seagull

 


Who are you?
I'm Xianyou (yes, the district in Chine with the same name is doing well…). I create more often than not comic strips in a manga style in black and white, and sometimes I do colour illustrations!

What do you do?
At the moment, I'm doing an end-of-the-year internship to validate my Automation diploma, and other than that I still spoil my cat with his daily mountain of cat biscuits.

Where do you come from?
From la Creuse, a region in France.

How old are you?
22-years-old.

What's your favourite self-penned illustration? 
I'd say this one. Even though it's one of my first illustrations in colour and it's got a few flaws, I still really like it:

Who is your favourite illustrator?
I love following the adventures of Yatuu who tells them in comic strip format on her blog, she always makes me burst out laughing
 
Your passions, besides illustrating?
JAPANNNNNN *SBAFF* ! ...Well yes, I love anything to do with Japan, whether its culture, or its mangas, its sushis, its katanas, etc etc *puts a pack of ice on head* 

Your favourite place in the world?
My paddock, nice and warm under the covers! It's usually where I get my best ideas.

What gets on your nerves?
Not finding the latest Nutella cookies! It's really annoying, being tempted by advertising, drooling and everything, then not being able to find their product! 

What makes you happy? 
"Hakunnaaa matattaaa ! It means no worries for the rest of your days! It's our problem-free philosophy! Hakuna Matataaa !" (...come on, admit it, you read the words with the song in your head, haha!) 

Who is your hero? 
HARRISSOONNN FFORRRDD *RE-SBAFFF* ! Despite the fact that he's 73, I still really fancy him! *gets the pack of ice back out* 

Your favourite word?
Niafrouuuuuuu ! Don't bother trying to understand what it means, I don't know either, but it ended up being a part of my daily vocabulary. 

What's your favourite smell?
A nice roast chicken in the oven. Or the smell of olives in a mediterreanean style. Argh, I can't decide! 


The job you wouldn't have liked to have done?
Toilet emptier, or septic tank person (my nose is too sensitive). 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
*steals Father Xmas's bag to stick her own stuff into it*
Well, I'd take the music to the Man of Steel (I love movie soundtracks, and even more so if done by Hanz Zimmer), the Another book, as well as the last Star Wars movie and I'd take all the Black Butler books.

What would you like to sell to us this week?
I don't have muche to sell, but if you want advertising… Come check out my Facebook page in droves, and click on the Like button hahaha! (What d'you mean you're not supposed to advertise yourself??) 

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
*intercom voice like in supermarkets*
God: "Welcome to Paradise. Here, you can savour at your convenience all the dishes and delicacies from around the world, whether pork chops à la crème, ramen or cheeseburgers, as well as many sushi and other celestial specialities." 

That's it for this week. Thanks once again to you Fanny/Xianyou! Come see us again, whenever you feel like it. I mean it. A special style like yours attracts manga fans, and it's always nice to have different styles on here. Anyway, I can't tell you when we'll be having a new illustrated FML on, because it's summer and people are off galavanting around… well, not FML anyway. We're 24/7. We just have trouble finding people to take part in this column. So feel free to write in! Until then, here's how we now react whenever we hear a Brexit "joke". And here's FML's security guard. Anyway, see you next time, and remember to be excellent to each other!

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to [email protected] not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

#1600 - Illustrated FML - On 06/30/2016 at 5:55am by Alan - 7 comments

FML celebrates our dads, the everyday heroes.

Today, it's Father's Day. The old man's party. The fiesta for the elders. FML is grateful to be able to show respect to our wonderful old dudes, who have guided us through life, taught us right from wrong and wiped our backsides, all in all making us the vaguely tolerable human beings that we are today. 

Humankind is divided into two categories: people who are fathers, and those who aren't. People who are, who take their task very seriously, know how difficult it is to reign over their offspring, who often think they know it all. To assert yourself as a good father, you have to know when to pull the reins in, and remind them from time to time who rules the roost.  

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

Some of our heroes have understood that their mission in life, their main function, was to shape the children to become adults of tomorrow, to shake off petty failures, dry useless tears, and most importantly to have a sense of humour and how to use it. These are some of the skills that are necessary if you want a child to function as a moderately successful human being in this modern hellhole we call society, lest you want them to be called an uncouth yokel. 

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Being a father is also about letting your children go their own way, let them make their own mistakes, free of mind and spirit. Unless they belong to a sect that follows a particularly closeted dogma, most fathers want their children to reach for happiness and freedom. Well, yeah, and having children is also a way to have a good laugh at somebody else's expense. 

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

And today of all days, the best way to celebrate them is to let them do whatever the hell they want. Whether it's having a little drink: 

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

Dress the way they want:

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

Or sport the facial hair they fancy:

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

It's THEIR day. If your dad is still roaming the Earth, give him a call, send him a text, go round his place with some balloons and a nice cake (or some booze), do whatever you can to make him feel special. No need to make the day the commercial circus it probably is by spending heaps of cash on useless tat. Love is all you need, as The Beatles said. Love you, Dad <3

#1599 - About FMyLife - On 06/17/2016 at 11:31am by Alan - 9 comments