Hello folks, how are you today? Not too sad that 24, Lost and the Cyanide & Happiness month all ended? Well, everything has an end my dear friend. as much as everything has a start! And let's start today's article shall we? Mike Jacobsen, our very unique Australian artist of the week, was on one of our top 5 favourite webcomics for over a year before we dared to contact him. And then we were lucky enough to interview him on Skype. And here we are:

Mike Jacobsen: Am I waiting for a question?
FML: Yes you are, but we lost the file with all the questions we're supposed to ask you.
Mike Jacobsen: I'll busy myself formulating incredibly amusing and totally fabricated answers...
FML: Okay, let's start it anyway. So Mike, how old are you?
Mike Jacobsen: 35. I think I'm probably the oldest person you've interviewed! But I think the child in me is still well and truly alive. Which of course is a mature way of saying I'm immature.

FML: Yes, you might be the oldest artists we've had, but don't worry, we don't publish mature artists. Where do you live?
Mike Jacobsen: In Canberra, which most people probably won't know is the capital of Australia. It's like a large, boring country town, which sucks the life out of everyone who lives here.
FML: What's your job in Canberra then?
Mike Jacobsen: Graphic designer/art director at an advertising agency. It's a pretty cool place - we have ping-pong - but the work is pretty soulless, so I rely on what I do out of work hours to keep me happy. I think I'm really lucky to have something that I actually love doing in my free time - it's just a pity I can't do it all day! PS - I'm putting ping-pong champion on my next resumé.

FML: So, now tell us about your story. "Once upon a time ..."
Mike Jacobsen: Ok. Once upon a time, there was an extremely handsome young boy named Mike who loved drawing. He studied graphic design in an attempt to channel his passion for drawing into something commercially viable, but found himself designing things like annual reports for the government, and brochures about caring for chronically ill people. So he started drawing cartoons and putting them on the web, and all of a sudden he realised there was a whole world out there of like-minded people who liked his stuff! And he realised that was what he should be doing full time... so he's working on it. (I got carried away)

FML: (that's better this way) What about your next projects?
Mike Jacobsen: Well there's always my websites seemikedraw and theurf.com, which I do with a friend of mine, but they've taken a back seat lately. I've been working on quite a large project with a couple of friends for about a year and a half now. It's an animated show, but I can't really say much else about it. I hate saying that - it's what people say when they have a project that's going nowhere but they want it to sound like it's something 'big'. Anyway, maybe it'll go somewhere, maybe it won't - the main thing is that it gives us something to hope for...until our hopes are brutally crushed and we move on to the next project. Oh, and doing this cartoon for FML inspired me to do one for seemikedraw - the first in AGES! So thanks :)

FML: You're 100% welcome. Can you tell us more about your blog, like why did you create it, etc.
Mike Jacobsen: I'm constantly scribbling cartoons so I figured I'd put a few up on a blog and see what happened. It got a pretty good response which encouraged me to keep it regular, and I got a few good jobs out of it too. I've also offended a lot of people. One day I topped reddit which was a thrill for me. But as always things get in the way and it's slowed down a lot. But I'll keep it going when I can.

FML: What inspires you? (artists, books, movies  ...)
Mike Jacobsen: I love it when someone sees the world in a way that hasn't occurred to me. Preferably if they see it in a skewed way. I've been watching a lot of old Futurama lately as inspiration for my show - it's just so cleverly written and I'm constantly thinking "how the hell did they come up with that?» Art, books, movies, anything that makes me aspire to something more than what I'm currently doing.


FML: What makes you laugh the most?
Mike Jacobsen: Animals. I think one of the C&H guys said the same. It's the fact that they're so oblivious to the reasons we think they're funny. Animals in clothing always gets me. I think it started back when I first saw a classic old movie called Top Secret, where they put a cow in gumboots. Oh, and midgets. Midgets are funny.


FML: And last question but not the least, why did you choose this FML story ?
Mike Jacobsen: It was short and brutal - all the makings of a good FML story! I originally wanted the dog to be pregnant, but I usually tend to go a bit too far so I toned it down and just made it a case of the girl being a bit dim-witted. Besides, some smarty-pants would've pointed out the fact that a human can't actually impregnate a dog.

 

Reality sucks. Anyway, that's it, thank you Mike for both the illustration and the interview!

See Mike Draw at http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog. If you don't have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with Alice <3 , who will tell you what you have to do!

Here's the proof Mike likes strange combinations.

As that rubbish band from the sixties droned on about, this is the end. For a whole month, FML had the pleasure of having the Cyanide & Happiness guys over to stay, the month of May is almost over, so let's have a little more fun shall we?
Sure, it's a great plan. Why do we still see those faces here? Did you think that there were only 4 guys running Explosm? Nay forsooth My Lord, there's a fifth one, and he's as crazy as the others. Enjoy my friends.

 

-What's your name and surname?
-Chase Suddarth, but my friends call me "Sir."


-How old are you?
-I am twenty three and two thirds. My training wheels came off last week!


-Where do you live?
-I'm located in Arizona, but I wouldn't call that living am I right people? Because it's hot. It's fucking hot. Don't live here.

-What do you do for a living?
-I animate to bring home the bacon. When I'm not working with the Explosm guys on the animated Cyanide and Happiness shorts, I'm panicking over a weekly deadline at College Humor. Animators have it rough, let me tell ya. While most people focus on petty problems like feeding their kids and basic sanitation, animators are facing the tough questions. Is it funnier if we don't show the flaming monkey on screen? When sucked into a jet engine, how much blood is too much? How many veins is too many? These are all examples of how important my job really is. And for shits, I've animated the following cartoon characters having sex.
-Scooby Doo and Daphne
-Wilma and a live-action guy (It got cut!)
-George Jetson and Rosie
-Ganondorf and Zelda
-Iron Man's mask and Pepper Potts
-David Hasselhoff and David Hasselhoff


-What's your story? (School, job...)
-I was once a poor, poor child. My mother died giving birth, I never knew my father. It was a grim start for ol' young Chase. Sister Mary tells me I was minutes away from death when she discovered me. I was taken back to the monastery where I was cleaned and fed for the first time. It wasn't long before she and the other nuns discovered my birthmark, changing my life forever. For the next 13 years I became trained in the art of popeing. The lord was the only family I needed, especially since "Sacred Chosen One" pays pretty damn good (God bless the collection plate!). Being next in line for Pope has its advantages! There's a lot more to it than walking onto a balcony and waving. You think the hat is that big to look fancy? It's the single most advanced piece of technology in the world. The pope-mobile has more in common with the batmobile than just a cool name. Nuns, Priests, and Cardinals all had to do as I said. If you haven't seen a nun pummeled in joust by Laser, you haven't lived. That kind of power leads to some dark places too... I'm not going to say what happened, but I hope you can one day forgive me Cardinal Richards. It went too far, I know that now. Anyway, around my 13th birthday I discovered I had the ability to think. So, naturally, I left the church. You'd think it would be rough for a 13 year old to live on his own, but I had prepared for this. One quick trip to NASA allowed me to sell the Pope's space plans that bought me the mansion I live in to this day. It was here that I discovered television. I decided to finally be happy and join the Simpson family. After finding out the Simpsons were a fictional family, I fired my cleaning staff and decided to make my own cartoons. They sucked, so now I make other people's cartoons. Sometimes I still think about returning to the monastery and finishing my training. I mean, at least if I were pope I wouldn't be covering up a bunch of kid fucking.


-What are your projects?
-I love working on David Forgets in my free time. It's a live-action series David Sapp and I created that lets us go pretty crazy creatively. David is a beer loving man-child who lives with his good friend Chase, who is large and absolutely hates David. We have a lot of fun mixing stupid and zany with dark and tragic. For the few fans that still exist out there, we're working on it as much as we can in our free time! It's frustrating to not have the time to work on it regularly, but we're dedicated to the idea and we fully intend to see it through (DavidForgets.com is about 70% ready!). You might recognize David and I as the blue guy and the green guy (respectively) in Beer Run. David brings his amazing scream back in Speed Racist and you can hear me as Sad Larry's cocky tie-wearing friend.


-Can you tell us about your role in Cyanide&Happiness? (How did it start, etc...)
-I showed some comics to Chris Wilson (He changed it to Kris after he became a big shot) many years ago. He told me they were "alright," and then the bastard disappears. I think, "huh, I guess he was a big jerk after all," and go about my days. I even toyed with a few different stick figure styles while I honed in on my comic brilliance, so you know what Mr. Big Shot Wilson does? He gets some of his asshole, rat bastard friends to sign their names on my comics and they start making it big through MySpace. After being legally silenced by those sons of bitches for 3 years they decided to pay me and now we're friends.


-What inspires you (artists, movies, etc...)?
-Good comedy writing and performances. Some of my favorites are The Simpsons, George Carlin, Conan O'Brien, Tenacious D, Arrested Development, Futurama, Always Sunny, The Office (USA, sorry but Steve Carell is the best!), 30 Rock, South Park, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Rocko's Modern Life, and probably 200 more I'm forgetting.


-What makes you laugh the most?
-I once saw an elderly man slip and fall backwards on the sidewalk. Out of everyone there I laughed the most.


-Why did you choose this FML?
-I've never seen a girl naked and I thought it might be fun to draw.


-Do you have your own FML anecdote that you can share with us?
-I was taking a shit on my solid gold toilet when I ran out of hundreds. I had to finish wiping with my Forbes magazine and what's worse is my Rolex fell into the bowl when I went to flush! I mean, it still worked after Rosalita took it to the cleaners, but still! FML.

What? Naked girls really exist? Anyway, thank you for your participation Chase!

Once again, don't forget to visit Explosm: http://www.explosm.net/

No intro today. Why? Bee-cause.

-What's your name and surname?
-I bear the unfortunate moniker of David McElfatrick. My second name is such because the English couldn't be bothered to pronounce the Irish version of my name when they came over to Ireland hundreds of years ago, so instead called my family this instead. Kinda like calling a T-Rex a T-Rex instead of Tyrannosaurus Rex, except a lot more stupid.

-How old are you?
-As of the date I write this, 25 years of age.

-Where do you live?
-I am currently hovering between the green pastures of north Ireland and Dallas Texas, like a sort of mayfly. I think if you were to point out an approximate 50/50 location, I'd be on some iceberg in the mid-Atlantic. Basically, I was born and raised in the small town of Coleraine, Ireland, where I resided for 22 years of my life before moving to the city of Belfast. However, in the last couple of years the call of the USA has been far too great for me to ignore and I have spent a lot of time in Texas working with Rob on Cyanide & Happiness stuff. As of the time of writing this, I am planning on expanding my horizons and stomach girth a lot more in Texas.

-What are your projects?

-Well aside from stuff like the C&H books (the second we've just completed) and the comics, most of my input comes from the creation of the C&H animated shorts. We've got a lot more for you on the way! I'm also in the early stages of working on a brand new, more traditional-style comic with the talented head of Ross Nover (writer of "The System"). With that I'm looking to spread my artistic wings a lot more. Kinda like a dragon with a pen.

I agree, your life sucks. Thanks for your participation Dave !
Next week it's.. Chase's turn!

Bonjour tout le monde ! Yes, today we're half french because it's the Cannes Film Festival week, so sunshine, movie stars and champagne are all part of our daily routine. With our feet in the sand and our sunglasses balancing on our sunburned noses, we're ready to interview another member from the Cyanide&Happiness crew. Commençons !

-First of all, who are you ?
-Kris Wilson. Spelled with only 1 k, not 3.

-How old are you?
-I was born in 1988, so I'm currently 21 at the time of this interview.

-Where do you live?
-I used to live in Wyoming. I hitched up my covered wagon and chased the horizon to Colorado a week ago.

-What are your projects?
-I mostly do the C&H thing as of now. I do a lot of writing for the animations, along with a handful of side projects that I can't officially mention or bring to the surface yet. Hopefully they'll be in motion before I start a senile attempt at serial killing. Stay tuned.

Hey guys, we're glad to be back! Today we're welcoming another member of the awesome Cyanide and Happiness team. Stop what you're doing right now, turn off that Miley Cyrus' "song" you're listening to, stop being boringly nice and be prepared to once again enter a wonderful world of unique (and cruel) humor.

- Hey mister, can you present yourself to the FML world?
- Rob DenBleyker. My stage name is Wobblez DenBonkers.

- How old are you?
- I'm 24! But it might be better to say I was born in 1986, since this article will be up forever and people reading it 10 years from now might get the wrong idea! Not that being perpetually 24 is so bad.

- Clever move. Where is your computer (a.k.a: where are your bed, fridge and television; a.k.a: where do you live)?
- I live in Dallas, TX. It's pretty alright.

- Do you have any projects?
- Right now I'm one of the four dudes who writes/draws Cyanide & Happiness, and I play a large part in producing the animated shorts. Apart from Explosm, I'm starting a new site dedicated to something I call "Interactive Stories", where the reading audience guides the narrative by yelling at me in all caps. The new site is StoryDump.com and will be up fairly soon. I'll also be writing a new occasional comic at StoryDump.