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FML's Halloween Delights

 Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
Every year, at regular intervals, some of us like to dress up in insanely scary costumes and then go outside and try to extract candy from the general public by scaring them into submission. But enough about the FML team’s usual Saturday nights, I’m supposed to be talking about Halloween. Halloween, also known as the agoraphobic pedophile’s favourite night of the year, is a whole bunch of fun. Especially if you’re particularly ugly since you’re encouraged to hide your features and to look as scary as possible with masks, make-up and costumes. Well, that’s the traditional sense of it, these days it’s more like an excuse to dress up as your favourite Pokémon or make an oh-so-clever Big Bang Theory reference. And we all know what people who are into that sort of stuff are like. On FML, we have had a few Halloween stories over the years, but we’ve also had a few stories where fear was involved. Fear. FEAR. People being gripped by the knackers and shaken to their very core by an event, either their own dumb fault, or just bad luck.

Halloween, as I’ve already mentioned, involves a lot of dressing up and slapping on a mess of make-up. This is not always a good idea for those involved as things usually tend to go wrong:
Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML
Today, I was walking to my friend’s Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML
Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

As with all gatherings involving dressing-up, you can meet people who aren’t exactly who you thought they were…
Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML
… but also, Halloween can cast a spooky curse on your future.
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at Halloween costumes online for this year’s Halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. FML
Halloween is most of all about the garish decorations and the kiddies having fun:
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says, “Anal.” FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

And there’s always “that guy”:
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
More generally, lots of people on FML have been scared, usually literally by their own shadow:
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until a pair of butterflies attacked me. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

But in keeping with the Halloween theme, there’s also some genuinely creepy stories on the website:

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
Now it’s time to get dressed, slap on that make-up and fake blood, and go out trick-or-treating. Just don’t get into any mischief, no TP-ing of houses, cars or dogs. But dressing up your pets is allowed, even if it’s a bit sad. And funny. Oh and if you don’t feel like going out, check out some classic horror movies like John Carpenter’s brilliant Halloween and Fog, or some of Dario Argento’s stuff. Here at FML we’ll be partying dressed as ourselves, because we’re scary enough as it is.

#1331 - Ramblings - On 10/31/2012 at 4:38am by Alan - 2 comments

Bid on that FML

What a beautiful day! Today, we're not visiting canadian artists or even british artists, we're staying in our good old country. Today's artist is the father of a new super-hero named ULTI-MAN. In other words: humor and super-heroes were enough for me to all in love with this comic and contact its creator, Jeff Beckman, to ask him to come visit us on FML. Now it's interview time!



-Hello Jeff, tell us more about you, how old are you ?
-Hi everyone, I'm Jeff Beckman and I'm 23 years old.

-Where do you live?
-I live in Brockton, Massachusetts AKA the city of champions AKA shoe city

-What do you do for a living?
-I am a freelance Animator and Illustrator in the Boston area. I've worked for several cool clients such as Cannibal Cookies and Super Ninja Pizza Djs.

-What's your journey?
-Hmm... Journey? Well, I haven't even traveled very far out of New England or even Massachusetts at that. Or, journey as an artist... well I guess I haven't really traveled very far there either. I didn't start off painting or sculpture or whatever and evolved into comics or animation that way, it's what I've always done in one way or another. The real journey there has been learning from mistakes and growing as a storyteller with my comics and animations.



-What are your inspirations?
-My inspirations are horror (movies, comics, etc), Tokusatsu and 90's cartoons.

-Do you read webcomics?

-I read a bunch of webcomics, stuff like Bearmageddon, Cucumber Quest, Destructor, Dr. Cat, Crunchy Bunches, etc.

-So ULTI-MAN, what is it really about?
-My webcomic is ULTI-MAN, . It is a story about Ultimate Man, an Ultraman type hero who has defeated all of the giant monsters that once threatened the world, but is now since retired. His whole life has pretty much fallen apart and he has to try to piece it back together.

-Last question Jeff! Why did you choose this FML story?
-I chose this FML story because it reminded me of when I buy things on online auctions, whenever someone outbids me I always want to passively aggressively jack up the prices on them, but don't because I don't want to get stuck with it and not be able to afford it. Plus I think that's illegal...






ULTI-MAN comic you should check out!

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 



#1330 - Illustrated FML - On 10/23/2012 at 2:40am by Alice - 1 comments

ValMo's Illustrated FML

Hello illustration fanatics, it’s Saturday again. Yes, I know, inspired intro. I was watching stuff on TV. It’s nearly Halloween, so we have to get ready and think about pumpkins. And I don’t know about you but I think that Pimp My Ride has changed quite a bit.

This week we’re taking you to Quebec in Canada, with a young lady who goes by the name of ValMo. She works in video games, but she also creates comics and illustrations, and has done ever since she’s been old enough to hold on to a pencil.

“I like to draw, tell stories and most of all, the feeling of having finished something. Creating a game or an illustration is satisfying visually, but it also needs to be amusing and the clients need to be happy. This means creating quality illustrations from time to time. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! And I’ve accepted it for the past ten years. Yes, I still have all my hair. I still require a few thousand dollars more to be able to have a decent beer in Brussels, or a nice glass of wine in Bordeaux with my boyfriend. Or take a year off where my rent would pay itself, so I could work on a whole comic and illustrations.” There, that’s that.

ValMo says she has the same story as most people at her level. She wanted to study cartooning, but unfortunately at the beginning of 2000 there were no classes in Quebec in this domain. “So after my high school diploma in graphic design, I went to study advertising illustration in Montreal for a few months and since then I learn things by myself by working with different illustrators or working with groups. I’m self-taught, but I would like to meet my Mister Miyagi one day who would teach me everything. Is anyone interested?” (And please avoid the smutty proposals. Our guest has a “chum” as our friends from Quebec say).

What are her projects? “I’m currently working on a few projects here and there with writer/cartoonist from Quebec and another in Montreal. But unfortunately I can’t say more for now.” Grrrrr, it’s always the same with artists, so many secrets. Never mind, we’ll wait.

To do so, we can read the next bit.

Cats or dogs?
Dogs. They’re a bit stupid, but we like them anyway. A bit like the village idiot. We get so attached to them. I HATE cats. The purr and then WHAM! They scratch you like there’s no tomorrow. Nasty creatures.

What are the latest things you enjoyed in movies, music, books and comics?
I loved The Avengers. As for comics, it’s difficult to choose because I love a lot of stuff. Lately I got to meet Mézières, which I LOVED, I enjoyed the “clash” about the creation of comics. With the use of cintiqs, computers, pads and blogs becoming more common, we quickly forget the more “human” side of it, or even the anecdotal tale versus the literary tale, or the sensual contact of a big book fresh off the presses. Which reminds me that it’s starting to get cold around here so I’m probably going to discover some new stuff at the library.

Who are the main artists that you like and whose blogs you visit regularly?
I love Pascal Campion, Boulet, Obion, Gally (with their funny and saucy Love Blog), Mouk who always makes me laugh, Anette Marnat, Claire Wendling and many more. In Quebec there’s Pascal Colpron, Francis Deharnais, Djef, Mikael, Michel Farlardeau, Jimmy Beaulieu, Pascal Girard, Delaf and Dubuc as well as Geneviève Koté for her pretty illustrations.

Tell us what you enjoy in life, your passions, pastimes, vices, every day pleasures.
Besides beings at a few centimetres from a computer screen, I like being outside and walking around the old Quebec and seeing the tourists. It’s like travelling with them. I have a BIG weakness for food and I dream of a food-based holiday in France or California to taste lots of great wine and meet nice people.

Tell us a crap joke. Possible joker: if you don’t have a joke, you can tell us your biggest FML.
I’m terrible for jokes, but for FMLs, I could write a book… I’m a bit temperamental, so not a week goes by without a mishap or two.
Once, I went into a store to find a black dress, and being distracted, and because I was already wearing a black dress, I managed to leave the store wearing the new dress leaving my own dress in the changing room without setting off the alarm. When I realized my mistake, I went back into the store, but this time the alarm went off. But try looking honest when explaining what had happened to the storeowner… FML

Do you have a phobia? If so, which one?
I HATE being in car. If you live in Canada, it’s not the most practical phobia, seeing as the closest big city to Quebec is a three-hour drive away. So I compensate by cycling or taking the bus. This isn’t always classy when it’s 35 degrees in summer or -40 degrees Celsius in winter. But it allows me to draw without holding on to a steering wheel.

To finish off, ask yourself a question you would like to have been asked, and then choose to answer it or not.
What would like to do in the forthcoming year?
I like to publish a whole comic book or to have even more illustration contracts and children’s books! I hope to meet other comic book creators and illustrators and perfect my technique and tell loads of stories. Thanks to FML for this window to the world. (Our pleasure Val!)


And to see this week’s Illustrated FML, click here.


And that’s a quality illustration. It’s at least of the same quality as the videos I’ve got for you this week. Do you know the Pentatonic Scale? No? Well, this funny experiment will tell you all about it. Otherwise, it’s never too late to check out, or check out again le Internet Medley which covers 40 Internet phenomenon in one song. Take care and see you next week!


If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1329 - Illustrated FML - On 10/20/2012 at 6:22am by Julien - 1 comments

The FML education

I've already started plenty of articles with "hello", "good morning" and "hi everybody" so I'm running out of opening salutations. What do cool people say when they see each other? In other words, how do British people salute themselves? Let's find out thanks to today's artist. She's young, she's from London and she likes FML. As you can figure out, she's got a lot going for her. Let's not wait a minute more, especially since I have like a ton of jokes that require a British accent, but I'm having a hard time translating it into this article, so let's get to the interview!



-What's your name?
-On my blog I don't really have a name, I wanted to stay more of an everyman. I'm sure if you could be bothered to do any digging at all you would be able to find out in about 10 seconds though. It's not that I have an embarrassing name like Bunglefarck on something, I just hoped I could relate to more people by being nameless.

-How old are you?
-I am 16 and will be 17 in January - which is why my drawing style isn't very polished.

-Where do you live?
-I live in London but go to the countryside a lot as well.

-What's your job?
-I'm in sixth form at the moment where I spend most of my life doing maths (which is always thrilling), hopefully I'll go to uni or art school when I leave, I haven't decided which yet (but hey if you follow my blog you'll know when I do!).



-What's your journey?
-I have always loved drawing and never thought of putting it into a blog until recently. I read about a girl a little older than me who has a make up blog ( which she illustrates for, I was so excited to see it but quickly realised it wasn't as illustration based as I thought it would be (although she does have some really lovely pictures and it's a great blog). I started looking for other illustration blogs after that and then eventually realised I could try one myself. I am not very good yet, but I'm hoping I will improve with practice.

-What are your inspirations?
-There are loads of illustrators whose work I love, but I think my all time favourite is Sempé. He just seems to capture every persons character so perfectly with his drawings. Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole series inspires me when writing for my blog, as does Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicolson series.


-Tell us more about your blog!
-My blog is about being a slightly awkward teenager living in the 21st century. I make a fool of myself quite a lot, which although can be embarrassing for me, is entertaining for many others. I found a lot of other teenage blogs/TV shows to be really moany and annoying - I don't want to write and draw about Tommy liking Susie and not me which means I probably won't get asked to the winter dance... etc (For the record, there is no Tommy.) Or draw pictures of something dying with a stupid quote to go with it to try and express my harsh feelings. I try and write about how being: hormonal, in public, and kind of a lemon-head sometimes, is a bad combination when you're trying to act cooler than you actually are.

-Why did you choose this FML story?
-I have a lot of younger relations and babysit a bit so I have a good idea of what it is like putting little kids to bed, and multiplying that by three and it all going wrong I thought was hilarious.






If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 


#1328 - Illustrated FML - On 10/12/2012 at 10:13am by Alice - 0 comments

Jul's Illustrated FML

Hello there! I’m glad to be here to greet you once more. I was just at the zoo with Paris Hilton checking out the kangaroos when suddenly… Well, I’ll let you work that one out.

I’ve now got a guest to introduce. He’s 30 years old, he’s from France and he’s called Julien Rocca, AKA Jul, Forza Pedro or officially Forza Jul for the upcoming comic books in the stores. A young man then, but what does he do? “I sleep a lot, or I play with my games consoles. I like making little cartoons, I like playing video games, and I like making music… I just miss the peacefulness that I can’t find in Paris, but I’m soon going to fix that by leaving the capital next year.”

His latest news is “a lot of things” he says. “A big new game. I’d even say my first ‘real’ video game called Finding Teddy! It’s coming out on iPhone and PC. As for comics, the blog is on stand-by because of work. Even if I haven’t announced it officially yet, the first Tapeworm Boy volume should appear in 2013, and that’s great.”

Great news then, achieved through many years of hard work. “I started work quite young. I liked school, high school, all that, but I needed money! I did all sorts of things, I worked in a bookstore, salesman, even metalwork for the aviation business. Then when I’d had enough, I became a graphics designer for a games company, and then opened my own company with a friend. This is where I still am, and that’s fine by me.”

Project wise, games, comic books, music (an album to be listened to!) and a collection of pixel art illustrations. Jul also takes part when he wants to the Strip Science project. “I have projects all the time, the only problem is finding the time.” Come on man, having too much work is never a problem. Right, next.

Dogs or cats?
Cats, no contest. Even though I must admit I love Chihuahuas, you can’t really say that they’re dogs, they look odd.

The last things you liked at the movies, in music, books and comics?
In music, it’s Disasterpiece (a composer for many games, such as FEZ), with whom I’m working for Finding Teddy. Movie-wise, The Avengers. For books, I’d say Pandora by Peter F. Hamilton. As for comics… I don’t read that many, but I’ve been rediscovering the Calvin & Hobbes ones recently, they never get old.

Who are the main artists you like and whose blogs you visit regularly?
All my crew, Jean Paul Pognon, Jibé, Antoine, Pierrot, Luchie, Louna, Dragib, Tristan and his blog Autostrip… All my friends. After which, I visit whenever I think to do so which isn’t often.

Tell us what you enjoy in life, your passions, pastimes, vices, everyday pleasures.
Besides gaming, music, comics and drawing… I’d say science, ancient cultures and civilizations. I really like insects, the way they operate, everything that concerns animals… Boring things really. 
As for everyday pleasures… I love getting to work, when I make my coffee and I check out my emails or the latest news on the Internet. When I’m at home with my family in front of the TV, under a blanket. And finally, I really enjoy annoying my nearest and dearest and my cat.

Can you tell us a terrible joke? Possible joker: if you don’t have a joke, you can tell us your worst FML.
A joke I heard in a Gamerside podcast: “What do you call three gay guys fucking? The one in the middle’s birthday.”

As for an FML: During a new year’s eve, I went home sick because of too much booze + a big sticky cake. In the subway, there was a woman in front of me and I threw up a big shit-brown thing on her feet. She ran away screaming a big disgusted “aaaaaaaah.” I was so embarrassed I got off at a stop that wasn’t mine; I threw up again in a trashcan, and then waited for AN HOUR for another train (it was at night). When I got home, I went to bed still in my clothes. The next morning, my grandmother knocked on my apartment door for coffee. When I opened the door, she said; “Oh you’ve been up to no good again, haven’t you?” I still had vomit on my shoes.

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
Water, in large quantities, is synonymous with death. Which means I can’t swim.


And to see this week’s FML, click here.


Not bad, huh? I’ll leave you with some videos, first off with this one that I didn’t want you to miss (even if you’ve maybe seen or heard it today). There are also the solid dependable morons and their stupid ideas to make us laugh, as demonstrated here. Have a nice week, weekend, and see you next Saturday!


If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 

#1327 - Illustrated FML - On 10/05/2012 at 6:30am by Julien - 2 comments

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

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