Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blog main page | RSS feed | All posts

Illustrated FML (277) - About FMyLife (39) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (15) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Naked FML

Some shocking news has been revealed this week. It broke my heart, and I must talk about it. You guys deserve to know: Robert Pattinson is no longer sporting a dead raccoon on his head. I know it hurts, but please don't cry. It's the end of an era, but a new... wait, what? Oh you're not crying! You're laughing because of his new look? I can't blame you for that, folks. Now, let's get to business; grab your chopsticks and bring a gas mask, because we're visiting the most polluted place in the world. No, we're not in the United States; we're talking about China, where today's artist Kristina Stipetic lives!

 

-So good morning/good evening/I don't know what time it is for you/ Kristina! How are you?
-It's evening here, about 5pm. I'm pretty good, just finished a day of work and going to make dinner soon.

-Where do you live?
-I live in the gorgeous garden city Suzhou, in China

-Your name doesn't sound that Chinese... where are you from?
-I'm from America, actually, but I've been living in China for over a year. I wanted to have some adventure and this seemed like a good way to find it.

-Wanted to know how to eat with chopstick?
-Haha, I've already been eating with chopsticks since I was little. Plus there's a lot of Chinese restaurants in America

-Oh, so you're just feeling at home. Did you want to go to China because of your work?
-No, just for adventure. My husband is a teacher, so he was able to find a job teaching English here. I can use the internet to find illustration work, so it doesn't really matter where in the world I am.


 

 

-How old are you?
-I'm 25. How old are you? Or should I refrain from asking the interviewer questions?

-Oh my lord, it's the first time someone being interviewed has asked me a question! I wonder if I should lie to the readers or not. Oh what the hell. I'm 126 years old. How's life in China?
-It's either up or down. I'm always either having a great adventure or having a nervous breakdown. Some days it's really hard to be away from all your friends and family and not be able to speak much of the native language. Other days, I'm overwhelmed with the beauty of the gardens in Suzhou, or enjoying the excitement of the open-air markets. One thing for sure is, I'm never bored.

-And how does it feel to live in the next first world-power?
-I get pretty jealous, actually. The transportation infrastructure in China is something I wish we had in America. You can get on a train from Shanghai in the morning and be in Beijing that night. Even small villages are connected by a network of cheap and easy buses. It's very easy to live without a car because everything is in walking distance. Although if I was Chinese, I wouldn't be able to publish the sort of comics I like to make. It doesn't look like China will have the sort of freedom of speech that the US has, not any time soon at least.

 

 

-What are your American-orientated  and open-minded projects?
-Currently I'm writing/drawing a webcomic called 14 Nights which is about two men in a relationship, one of whom is afraid of sex. It's got around 130 pages so far, and I think there will be maybe 300 pages total.

-Thanks to you, and Saeko Doyle, it's boys love on FML. Now last question Kristina! Why did you choose this story?
-I loved the detail about sending the naked photo to Pizza Hut. That really made the story come to life for me.

-And now I want to eat pizza. Thank you Kristina for your participation!
-Thanks for having me! Man, now I want pizza, too. And it's very expensive in China. Damn.

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Kristina's website : http://14nights.kstipetic.com/

 

#1185 - Illustrated FML - On 01/14/2012 at 3:28am by Alice - 6 comments

FML's birthday surprise

Has it been 3 years already?! We can definitely say that it's all Cyberdeeder's (Maxime Valette) fault. He started all of this by messing around on the Internet. Yep, FMyLife started out on an IRC channel that allowed a few friends in Europe to exchange their FML stories with each other. When it was launched in January 2009, you were a few hundred, then a few thousand, then over a million of you visiting Fmylife every day to share your FMLs. In 2009, the expression "FML", popularized by the website, became the second top trend amongst the 110 million US Facebook users.

Since January 2009, there have been...

— 5,734,866 FMLs submitted, of which 17,435 were published
— 511,159,448 "I agree, your life sucks" votes and 228,240,323 "YDI" votes
— 3,134,719 comments were posted, and thumbed 10,159,168 times
+ The same 5 attention whores who keep posting "FIRST" in the comments

Speaking of comments, to celebrate the 3 years the website has been up and running, we have a little surprise for you: in an all new section called “FML, the follow-up”, we’ve decided to honor all the original posters who, as well as making us laugh with their stories, return to comment on their stories to entertain us with all sorts of amusing details and precisions about their FML.

Click here to discover "FML, the follow-up"

There you go. We want to thank you for taking part in this adventure over the past three years. Our greatest birthday gift is your support. If you want to let loose like a bunch of crazy-cute pandas and post a bunch of nice comments about how FML changed your life and makes your hair shiny and sleek every day, spill the beans and we'll read them with pleasure.

#1181 - About FMyLife - On 01/11/2012 at 6:25am by FML Team - 29 comments

Follow the FML sheep

Yes, the holidays are over but that's not a reason to cry is it? There there, grab a tissue and take a look at today's illustration, it'll help you feel better. Plus today we're doubling the fun as we're welcoming not one but two artists. Amish people, don't go anywhere, I might talk about you lucky bastards.

 

 

-ThypoidMarty (I hope that's not your real name) and Pici welcome ! Who's hiding behind these odd nicknames?
-TyphoidMarty - Marten vanZwietering - originally English, part dutch, all insane. Pici (pronounced Peachy) - Emily Pici - originally from NY state, theater major and lifetime artist.

-How old are you guys?
-I am 36 and Emily is 25.

-Are you in a relationship/brother and sister/both?
-We are married since 11/11/11 at 11:11 at the Buffalo State Planetarium - I like the extra care you took to not offend potential incestuous relationships you displayed there - it is that little extra effort that makes all the difference.

-Congratulation! Now this article will be nothing but sweet love, attentions, and hearts (and not about amish anymore). How did you too meet?
-Online, just another couple of victims of online dating. We were friends on an online chat service first and decided to meet up - it blossomed from there. We only lived about 3 hours away at the time... far enough to be inconvenient but not enough to be a barrier to true love. 

-How is it, working with your lover?
-Actually surprisingly wonderful... every once in a while I get butthurt about some small imagined criticism from Emily but then the result almost always ends up better. I know it can be scary to work with your partner but if you can manage it I highly recommend it. We are always cooking up new crazy schemes together so rather than the comics being something that keeps us apart it actually makes us spend even more time doing something cooperatively. Which is just as well - we put out 11 comics every week. If it was me writing it for someone else I would never see Emily any more!With all the zany scheming I sometimes forget we are doing webcomics and instead imagine us as a new and dynamic super-villain duo.


 

-Tell us more about the webcomics, why did you make 3 of them?
-We started off with Hell Inc, which updates daily. It scratched the creativity itch pretty well. It being the oldest it has the greatest following for now. About 6 months later I was writing a book which I had been working on for a while and Emily said it would make a great webcomic. We started talking about it and it became My Unlife, which has a very different look and feel. The running joke is I try and persuade Emily that it should go out twice weekly but honestly it takes a lot longer to produce so it is just as well that it is Tuesdays only. Lastly, we are both huge fans of fmylife and failbook and seemed to constantly be coming up with our own stories, so one day Emily said she was going to do something about it - so she started making Failytales out of our combined experiences (plus a few from other friends) which updates 3 times a week. The look comes from Emily being huge into classic fairy tales, which is why it become princes and princesses telling the fails. Failytales is mostly Emily - I just do the website goodness for it.

-Ahah, right. Are you both "artists' who are living thanks to your webcomics or do you have like real/annoying jobs?
-Definitely the latter - as much as I would love to be writing webcomics and books full-time we aren't exactly rolling in the dough from it yet. I am a programmer for Green Mountain Coffee and Emily is a Senior In-Home Care Giver for Armistead. She also sings for a local touring group and has a really beautiful voice. She was singing an Italian Operetta last night and it was just beautiful.  She was also singing Mr Trollolol which I think shows range. I am off work today because it is a travel day to this convention and boy did they give me hell for it. We are an Exhibitor - We have a fun booth planned with Emily doing digital avatars for people and a raffle tomorow. We even *gasp* have limited quantities of merchandise!

-That is quite fantastic, you're starting to get famous (and we're lucky enough to have you on FML!)
-We are lucky to be here! I wouldn't call it famous so much as infamous.

 

 

-What are your next projects? A book? A baby? Both?
-I am working on a My Unlife book which is also handy because I can then script it out for the webcomics - which need plenty of pre-scripting because it contains live cast. And to have a beautiful (artist, yeah, I can feel it) baby 

-You're such an amazing couple (and I can feel some of our readers are jealous now, thanks a lot) I bet it was easy for you to choose this story as BOTH of you wanted the same one, right ?
-I think I was the one who originally chose it and came up with a brief idea - Pici expanded on it and then BAM tada! That tends to be our process - I do the basic ideas, we brainstorm and smooth off the rough edges. It's a good process and works well for our mentalities.

-Thank you very much guys, it was fun to do !

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Hell Inc.  website : http://www.hellinccomic.com/

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1177 - Illustrated FML - On 01/05/2012 at 11:50am by Alice - 1 comments

Happy FNew Year

Now Santa's back in Lapland, we've all opened our awesome/great/okay/mediocre/awful presents, it's time to say goodbye to our dear family and to welcome our drunk friends. They're surprisingly embarrassing but we still love them, don't we? It's basically the same when it comes to the worst FMLs we received this year. You probably thought they were destroyed inside one giant black hole? Hell no, some of our moderators kept them in a secret place (all we can say is that it's in Arlington, and it's a five-side polygon. Don't ask for any more details please) and they brought them back today, just for you. Lucky readers. 


Leave your brain outside, you don't need it to read what's following:

 

#1 "Today, I saw some random band had a song called “somebody to love”. I disliked the video and commented “stop copying Justin beiber!” the song was made 40 years ago. FML"

#2 "Today, I found out that my toe is big"

#3 "Today,cousins=DOOM? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?????"

#4 "I have no idea what miscellaneous means? So i just picked it….Umm … Yah….. FML"

#5 "A few days ago we where aloud to bring our IPods to music at shcool one girl forgot Hers so I let we listen to Mine it said I’m a new way of gospel so she told the teacher I was listing to “inappropriate” music"

#6 "Today, I heard a Spanish song on a country radio station, what is this world coming to. Fml."

#7 "Today, I went to the dentist. His name is Doctor Omans. The Beta fish in the bowl in his office was dead. FML"

#8 "Today, I like Turtles , they’re so awkward they’re like im green what of it , so what if im slow . FML"

#9 "Today, when someone asked for the real Slim Shady to stand up, 5 other people stood up with me. FML."

#10 "Yesterday i had dream about eating a giant marshmellow and when i woke up my pillow was gone FML."

#11 "Today, I was reading a FML post to my boo an I asked ” That’s crazy right bay” the response was WHAT YOU SAY!!! FML"

#12 "Today, my chicken ran away , i named him maurice ): i then realized , he wasnt a chicken he was a hippo. then i realized he was my dad FML"

#13 "today , i got aids from watching mylie cyruses drug tape"

#14 "Today, I sold a parachute on ebay that had a big hole in it but instead in the description I wrote it was in great condition and not used yet. I got an e-mail from the person who bought it. Turns out he was paralyzed on his skydiving trip with his wife and has a 6 month recovery in the hospital. FML"

#15 "Today, i was eating my daily severed chicken head when all of the sudden its headless body pulls it a spoon and starts beating me with it. Fml"

 

There. Hopefully 2012 will bring us a lot of new FMLs. May they be good or not. Now it's time for the FML crew to go to the awesome party we organized, and all we have to say to you is : 

 

 

Happy FNew Year our dear FML readers

 

 

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

 

 

The illustration was made by Aleksandra D.Chabros, check out her website!

#1173 - Illustrated FML - On 12/30/2011 at 8:43am by Alice - 12 comments

Merry FChristmas

Ho! Ho! Ho! It's Christmas! Yes, it's finally here, it feels like it's been a year, crazy. Today, there are two surprises. The first one is illustrated, the second one is an exclusive interview with Santa. And I'm pretty sure this one is going to blow your mind. First, take a look at this crazy illustration made by 5 of the artists we welcomed this year. So, do you recognize those characters? I know you do! And if you don't, that means you missed some of the wonderful comics we published, and if you have a knowledge-gap, read the text below the interview. Come on, let's do this ! 

 

-Santa, thank you for being with us today (we know you are super busy) first of all, what gives you this super power that allows you to distribute all those gifts we are waiting for?
-All year round, I'm working on bringing joy to the world. It takes a lot of time, but thankfully I have access to a Nespresso machine, cans of Red Bull, and the cold air keeps me awake. The heating broke down in 1984 and no repairman will come so far north.

-A lot of families are preparing your arrival right now, can you give us a tip: what are your favorite meals after getting down the fireplace 
-Many people leave cookies and milk, but most of the time I'd rather have some rum and a nice big cigar. I feel like the guy in Miami Vice on my sleigh with rum and a cigar.

-There's been rumours saying you became too fat to use the fireplace and that you're using slave-labour elves do to it. Is that correct?
-That's all scandalous lies, I never outsource, I never exploit people, I do all my own work, I have a stretchy body, like that guy, you know, the weird one, what's his name... Mr.Fantastic, that's it.

-What do you have to say to people who noticed that "Santa" is the anagram of "Satan"? No presents for them, uh?
-Polar opposites, I'm good. He's bad, and he smells of burning jockstraps

-What was your favorite illustrated FML this year?
-There's so much, I can't tell, those including animals are the best.

-Let's talk about presents shall we (that's basically the reason why I invited you today). In your opinion, why do the FML readers deserve gifts?
-They've been through a lot this year, they've been embarrassed, fallen into holes, been dumped, had things thrown at them, been hit on the head by flying objects, had bodily fluids all over…  let's just say they need a break, so I'll be taking good care of them. They deserve it.

-Even the guys with the "FIRST" comments?
-Oh no, they deserve to be tasered in the nuts.

-And special love treatments for those who are posting nice comment, right?
-Yes, they're my favourites… I'll name no names, but they'll recognise themselves. I just hope they keep on doing so, it makes the world, and FML, a better place.

-You're so awesome Santa. Hey! What did YOU ask for this Christmas?
-I want to get my FMLs posted, I've been trying all year. They never get through!

-Er, okay. I'll see what I can do. (In return, I'd love The Michael Jackson Experience on PS3. We'll talk about it later). Thank you so much Santa! Now there's just one thing to say :

 

Merry Christmas our dear FML readers

 


 

The illustration was made by :
-Meghan Murphy, check out her website, she's pretty and talented!
-Fernando Sica, check out his webesite, he knows how to speak spanish and he knows how to use photoshop! 
-Saeko Doyle, check out her website, she's french but she's awesome! 
-Ryan Kramer, check out his website, he's from Toonhole, how can you beat that?
-And the lovely Ida Eva Margrethe Neverdhal, check out her website, she created an Edward Unicorn. That just say it all. 

#1169 - Illustrated FML - On 12/23/2011 at 2:09pm by Alice - 12 comments


Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: