Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blog main page | RSS feed | All posts

Illustrated FML (269) - About FMyLife (36) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Inanimate FML

Okaeri! I hope you had a great week out in the cold (most of our southern hemisphere friends don't know what they're missing). Personally, since I discovered this website I couldn't have been better. This week we're welcoming an atypical artist since whisky and j-pop are on the menu. Forget everything you thought you knew about the Scottish living in Japan, James Grant will show you how it all fits together:

 

 

 

-James, it's great to have you on FML, why did you decide to contribute to FML's traditional illustrated Saturday?
-It's great to be here! I have been a fan of FML for quite some time, and after starting my own webcomic a few months ago I wanted to challenge myself with something different.

-Is FML different enough ?
-Of course! The situations and gags are already pre-written, but there was a lot of legroom to inject some of my craziness into the final strip. The best part was trying not to take the scenario too literally, and finding different angles to tell the same gag from, then just seeing what sticks.

-It ended up being quite awesome. Tell us more about you, how old are you?
-Pretty sure I'm 25 physically, with the mentality of a 12 year old. I'm currently living in Japan in order to improve my language skills and artwork. Oh, and I love drinking tea. My fastest record is about 26 seconds, hoho.

-In which city do you live?
-I currently live in Aomori, which is to the North of Japan. Aomori is home to Japan's, and possibly the world's, most delicious apples, the famous Nebuta Matsuri festival, and incredibly long, cold winters. 

-Japan, what a crazy adventure. Where were you from?
-I'm from Scotland originally. People used to run in fear when I told them this, but it turns out we aren't all caber-tossing, foul mouthed, skirt wearing, knife-wielding carnivores. We're actually a pretty nice bunch of people. Aside from the language barrier, dealing with culture shock was also a big hurdle for me, as most of my Japanese coworkers are incredibly quiet and extremely polite. Quite the opposite of what I am used to back home, haha.

-What's your job in this crazy country?
-By day I teach English at two Japanese High Schools, and by night I draw comics! One of the schools I teach at majors in technology, so it's a lot of fun being able to interact with the children through topics that I'm really interested in myself. Though, it kind of sucks getting your ass kicked by a 15 year old when it comes to playing Street Fighter.

-(Sounds like GTO to me.) That's a pretty huge decision you made by moving to Japan. What's the lamest and coolest part?
-(I actually dress like GTO and occasionally try to run over kids on my motorbike) I literally had to drop my life and go when I received the phone call confirming the job offer, but it was a chance I was willing to take if it meant living the dream! Speaking of GTO, the coolest thing that has happened to me was probably visiting Tokyo the day after I got my first paycheck. It didn't last long, and with no import taxes or delivery charges, neither did the thousands of games, DVDs, or figures that I've wanted to own since I was a kid. Ka-ching. The lamest thing would probably be never getting to see my family whenever I like! Tickets home are incredibly expensive, the preparation and 20 hours it takes to travel are a massive downer when I all I want to do is cuddle my dog!

*Side-note: James and I then spent 30 minutes speaking about our dogs, so let's just skip that part*

-Speaking of dogs, have you had the chance to meet Godzilla yet?
-While Godzilla is still on my "Massive Things I Need to Meet" list, I've been introduced to a life-sized Totoro, Pikachu, Laputa Robot Soldier, and recently, Hirosaki Castle's famous Mascot Takamaru-kun!

 

 

-What are your inspirations?
-Insert the generic "Well Alice, I've been into video games, anime and manga since I was but a wee laddie" line here, and we're all set. I'll try to be specific. I'm a big fan of manga works by Kiyohiko Azuma, Keiichi Arawi, and many other talented 4koma artists that have the ability to capture humour and timing perfectly. As for art, I am a massive follower of anime companies such as Gainax, Production IG and Kyoani. In particular, the visual styles of popular series such as Panty & Stocking, FLCL, and Gurren Lagann are all really big inspirations. I am also a long-time SEGA fan and have been inspired by the character and enemy designs of Kazuyuki Hoshino (Sonic CD/Sonic Adventure 2) as well as the graffiti-like style used in the Jet Set Radio games. I am trying to make Crazy Sunshine into a mix of Japanese-styled 4koma humour suitable for a western audience, taking influences from Japanese anime and infusing them with American classics such as Dexter's Lab and the Powerpuff Girls.

-Oh it's my last question already: why did you choose this story?
-I always seem to imagine that inanimate objects are actually alive and have feelings. Just ask my car. Anyway, when I read about a vacuum cleaner eating up someone's valuables, I had no choice but to give the machine a little bit of a personality as I started to imagine it scoffing down the poor woman's dog. That, and I think it's important to look at both sides of a coin. What if the women who wrote the story was actually a massive bitch (no offense, uh, Lauren from Texas, was it?) with a grudge against a shy, weak-willed cleaning lady who was forced into feeding a demanding little vacuum cleaner? I think it's a neat idea reading FML stories from two different perspectives, try it out!

-That's an awesome answer, thank you very much James for your participation, and for being kind enough to answer my questions!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


 

 

#1197 - Illustrated FML - On 02/03/2012 at 8:38am by Alice - 2 comments

FML the hard way

Good morning lovely readers, I swear that today I'll write an introduction (I already used the SOPA excuse, so now I'm out of good ones). Today we're welcoming the author of a webcomic that's all about the joys of parenthood, and he knows what he's talking about as he's a young dad. Forget everything you thought you knew about kids, diapers and social services (my bad, that was last week) and let's start this interview:

-Dustin hello, it's great to welcome you onto the FML boat, where do you live?
-I live in Portland, Oregon. Been living here for about 1 1/2 years now and loving it. I actually grew up in Portland, moved away for a bit and came back when my daughter was born.

-What's your job?
-I am a freelance graphic designer and a full time stay-at-home dad. Which means I generally work when my daughter is sleeping, when Momma gets home or in the whee hours of the mourning.

-Tell us more about your webcomic.
-I do a webcomic called Plus One, which is the adventure of two friends and un-planned pregnancy. It's a progressive story, so it starts out with the woman saying "I think I'm pregnant" and includes the pregnancy, dirty diapers, telling family, moving to a new home and so forth. Right now, the daughter, Anna, is about 1 1/2 and is walking and learning to talk. It's a humorous story about being a parent (even when you aren't expecting it) and all the fun things that come with that.

-So, this story is inspired by your life?
-Loosely based on my life. I do have a daughter (that wasn't planned) with my best friend. There are details here and there that are different that I added for the sack of telling a good story.

-What (or who) are your inspirations?
-Growing up I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes, Garfield and Far Side strips. I also read X men and Sonic the hedgehog comics. I remember learning how to draw from my older brother though. When we were little, we'd sit at the kitchen table and I'd imitate his drawings. Nowadays I love reading Kazu Kibushi work, my favorite being "Daisy Kutter". I also enjoy Jan Elliot's "Stone Soup" and pretty much any art from Mike Maihack.

-What is the future of "Plus One"?
-Plus One is an ongoing story, so I'll just keep making it until I run out of ideas. Since I'm using my life as a loose base for the story, I don't really see stopping it anytime soon. I do have an overall arc that will bring the story to a close when Anna turns 18. So by that calculations, I have about 16 or so years of left. Roughly speaking of course.

-What's better, being a graphic designer or a webcomic artist?
-Right now, graphic design simply because it's paying the bills and gives me enough free time to draw comics. My goal is to eventually make a living on comics and slow down on the graphic design part.

 

-Why did you choose this FML story?
-I chose this one because it made me laugh. I don't get to write too many boner jokes in Plus One, so this was a nice step outside of my normal joke realm. Not that I have anything against penis jokes, it's just that normally the boner comes first, then the baby comes second. And after that, you don't really have a lot of time for more boners. Sigh... the life of a busy parent.

-Ah boners, it's hard not to make a joke about them. Thank you very much Dustin for taking part!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Dustin's website : http://www.plusonecomic.com/

 

 

#1193 - Illustrated FML - On 01/27/2012 at 11:36am by Alice - 1 comments

The FML wings

I really wanna do this introduction SOPA/PIPA style.









There. It's weird having the internet censored, right? Plus it's really a shame, I wrote some pretty cool jokes. Anyway, let's get on with the interview folks:

 

 

-Marcel Guldemond (what a strange name) welcome to FML! Due to the awesome illustration you made, I really want to make this sound as if I was a member of the social services. So that's what I'm going to do. What's your age?
-Oh dear, sounds like I've gotten myself into trouble.

-You think you could draw a comic for FML without suffering the consequences? Cute. How old are you?
-I'm not sure I want to divulge my age, so let's just say I'm on the downhill side of 35! Or another way to put it is I went to high school in the 80s.

-Oh, you want to play the mysterious guy, okay I'll unravel your secrets, where do you live?
-I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

-As you may know, 80% of our readers are American, give us 3 reasons that proves Canada is a real country.
-Ha! Awesome question! Let me see...
1) Our money is all different colours
2) Our old people successfully invaded Florida
3) We have poutine and hockey! FYI, poutine is a food that originated in Quebec: french fries with cheese curds piled on top and then covered in gravy.

-Wrong, the right answer was "we invented Trivial Pursuit, burned!" Let's get to the next question. What's your relationship status?
-I'm married with one daughter and another on the way.

 

 

-Does she drink Redbull too?
-Dear god no! She's 2 and is 110% all the time, so she doesn't need any extra stimulus!

-"110% of the time", I see . Does she take drugs ?
-Nope, it's all natural

-... So do you take drugs?
-Uh, no, of course not... 

-Then why did you choose this FML story?
-Good question. There were a lot of good stories to choose from, but this one seemed to have good humourous potential, and I felt I could relate to it more because of my advanced age and being a father. A lot of the stories feel like they're written by teenagers, and I can't even remember being a teenager, and all that embarrassing stuff I did back then probably wasn't even me, and I'm sure I have an alibi.

-Speaking of teenagers, let's talk about your situation: "Artist", is that your only job?
-No, I do have a 'day job', which is working on computer programming/software development. It pays most of my bills and it's only 3 days a week, so I have time to develop my skills as an artist.

-I'm pleased you have a real job (if some lazy readers have only started reading from this point, I want to specify that I'm playing a member of social services here. Role-playing, I know, hot.) Tell me more "abot" (yeah, I had to do this) this passion of yours?
-Which passion? The one for setting things on fire? Oh wait, not that one. I mean, that's not one I have. At all. ... Ohhh, you mean for art. Well, I seem to have had that one since I can remember. I've always been drawing and making comics, telling stories with art. When I decided to go to school for computer science, I did that because I figured it would be a good way to pay the bills while still affording some time to do art.


 

 

-You're more of an artist than a comic artist is that correct?
-Yes, I made a transition from indie comic artist to gallery painter a few years ago

-Why is that?
-That's a good question. I really love comics, but the comics I was making were more philosophical and not very accessible, which made the market for them even smaller than the normal comics market. And then one year I made some paintings as Christmas gifts for my friends, and decided that I missed working with paint. Things kind of shifted from there, as I did some shows and realized that there was a market for my paintings.

-What are your next projects?
-I'm currently working on new paintings to send to some galleries. I haven't really planned any shows because we have another baby due soon, so that will keep me occupied for a little while. As well, I'm working on doing a short comic story with a friend of mine who's a professional theatre director and playwright, but that's still early stages, so we have no idea what's going to come out of that collaboration. I want to do a series of paintings with robots as the main characters too.

-Well, thank you Marcel, that was fun to do!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 



 

 

 

#1189 - Illustrated FML - On 01/20/2012 at 4:55am by Alice - 4 comments

Naked FML

Some shocking news has been revealed this week. It broke my heart, and I must talk about it. You guys deserve to know: Robert Pattinson is no longer sporting a dead raccoon on his head. I know it hurts, but please don't cry. It's the end of an era, but a new... wait, what? Oh you're not crying! You're laughing because of his new look? I can't blame you for that, folks. Now, let's get to business; grab your chopsticks and bring a gas mask, because we're visiting the most polluted place in the world. No, we're not in the United States; we're talking about China, where today's artist Kristina Stipetic lives!

 

-So good morning/good evening/I don't know what time it is for you/ Kristina! How are you?
-It's evening here, about 5pm. I'm pretty good, just finished a day of work and going to make dinner soon.

-Where do you live?
-I live in the gorgeous garden city Suzhou, in China

-Your name doesn't sound that Chinese... where are you from?
-I'm from America, actually, but I've been living in China for over a year. I wanted to have some adventure and this seemed like a good way to find it.

-Wanted to know how to eat with chopstick?
-Haha, I've already been eating with chopsticks since I was little. Plus there's a lot of Chinese restaurants in America

-Oh, so you're just feeling at home. Did you want to go to China because of your work?
-No, just for adventure. My husband is a teacher, so he was able to find a job teaching English here. I can use the internet to find illustration work, so it doesn't really matter where in the world I am.


 

 

-How old are you?
-I'm 25. How old are you? Or should I refrain from asking the interviewer questions?

-Oh my lord, it's the first time someone being interviewed has asked me a question! I wonder if I should lie to the readers or not. Oh what the hell. I'm 126 years old. How's life in China?
-It's either up or down. I'm always either having a great adventure or having a nervous breakdown. Some days it's really hard to be away from all your friends and family and not be able to speak much of the native language. Other days, I'm overwhelmed with the beauty of the gardens in Suzhou, or enjoying the excitement of the open-air markets. One thing for sure is, I'm never bored.

-And how does it feel to live in the next first world-power?
-I get pretty jealous, actually. The transportation infrastructure in China is something I wish we had in America. You can get on a train from Shanghai in the morning and be in Beijing that night. Even small villages are connected by a network of cheap and easy buses. It's very easy to live without a car because everything is in walking distance. Although if I was Chinese, I wouldn't be able to publish the sort of comics I like to make. It doesn't look like China will have the sort of freedom of speech that the US has, not any time soon at least.

 

 

-What are your American-orientated  and open-minded projects?
-Currently I'm writing/drawing a webcomic called 14 Nights which is about two men in a relationship, one of whom is afraid of sex. It's got around 130 pages so far, and I think there will be maybe 300 pages total.

-Thanks to you, and Saeko Doyle, it's boys love on FML. Now last question Kristina! Why did you choose this story?
-I loved the detail about sending the naked photo to Pizza Hut. That really made the story come to life for me.

-And now I want to eat pizza. Thank you Kristina for your participation!
-Thanks for having me! Man, now I want pizza, too. And it's very expensive in China. Damn.

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Kristina's website : http://14nights.kstipetic.com/

 

#1185 - Illustrated FML - On 01/14/2012 at 3:28am by Alice - 6 comments

FML's birthday surprise

Has it been 3 years already?! We can definitely say that it's all Cyberdeeder's (Maxime Valette) fault. He started all of this by messing around on the Internet. Yep, FMyLife started out on an IRC channel that allowed a few friends in Europe to exchange their FML stories with each other. When it was launched in January 2009, you were a few hundred, then a few thousand, then over a million of you visiting Fmylife every day to share your FMLs. In 2009, the expression "FML", popularized by the website, became the second top trend amongst the 110 million US Facebook users.

Since January 2009, there have been...

— 5,734,866 FMLs submitted, of which 17,435 were published
— 511,159,448 "I agree, your life sucks" votes and 228,240,323 "YDI" votes
— 3,134,719 comments were posted, and thumbed 10,159,168 times
+ The same 5 attention whores who keep posting "FIRST" in the comments

Speaking of comments, to celebrate the 3 years the website has been up and running, we have a little surprise for you: in an all new section called “FML, the follow-up”, we’ve decided to honor all the original posters who, as well as making us laugh with their stories, return to comment on their stories to entertain us with all sorts of amusing details and precisions about their FML.

Click here to discover "FML, the follow-up"

There you go. We want to thank you for taking part in this adventure over the past three years. Our greatest birthday gift is your support. If you want to let loose like a bunch of crazy-cute pandas and post a bunch of nice comments about how FML changed your life and makes your hair shiny and sleek every day, spill the beans and we'll read them with pleasure.

#1181 - About FMyLife - On 01/11/2012 at 6:25am by FML Team - 29 comments


FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: