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Illustrated FML (273) - About FMyLife (38) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (15) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Dafuq is this book?

 

Fmylife’s World Tour book is released today. It collects the best of life's most horrible moments, shared by people from all around the globe, and includes exclusive new entries.
After three years of existence of Fmylife.com and about a billion visits, 5,800,000 FMLs have now been submitted from all around the world, of which 19,000 have been published. And guess what? Whatever the country of origin, its culture, or its history, we have now been able to scientifically prove that the same screw-ups happen to all sorts of people, every day.
Take a look and try and guess where these FML stories originate from (the right answers are at the end):

1- Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

2- Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me, which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

3- Today, I had my hair cut and straightened to impress this girl at work. She seemed really impressed and acted really nice to me all of a sudden. Turns out it's just because she thinks I'm gay now. FML

4- Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

5- Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh don't smile." FML

6- Today, in the early morning, a worker started drilling right in front of my window. He left 5 minutes after my alarm clock rang. FML

7- Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

 8- Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him; I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

 9- Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

10- Today, my friend had to take my cat to be put down, since he has a tumor. I wasn't home, since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

11- Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

12- Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

 13- Today, I was acting, as Prince Charming for a 5-year-old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML

 14- Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

15- Today, I felt the urge to pee while skiing. The instructor pointed to some bushes. Once behind them, I dropped my pants and underwear, only to start sliding down the hill. Unable to stop, I slid out from behind the bushes and landed on my ass next to group waiting for me on the slope. FML

1- Japan
2- Pakistan
3- Israel
4- Thailand
5- Greece
6- Finland
7- United Kingdom
8- Peru
9- Canada
10- USA
11- Australia
12- New Zealand
13- Kuwait
14- Egypt
15- France

Here's the home-made advertisement, it was created by our publisher with her own camera. Take that Steven Spielberg!

 

 

#1289 - Books - On 06/05/2012 at 2:56pm by The FML Team - 5 comments

Ben Dessy's Illustrated FML

Hello everyone! The weather is starting to look mighty fine, and tomorrow I’m off to the magical world of Disney, so if you’ve got a message for Minnie Mouse, now’s the time. I’ll be showing her what I’ve learned to do with a piece of wood, and then we’ll be going down a slide. She’s going to love it.

So, what have we got for this week? Today’s artist is from Belgium, and he reckons he’s called Benjamin Dessy, aka Ben Dessy. All the way from Brussels, he’s 25 and is currently a researcher, researching job opportunities. Besides that, he fills his days by drawing as many things as he can to stick on his blog (that I strongly advise you to check out) and he makes a living by creating posters and designing websites.

“I’m new to the blog world, and in the past I wouldn’t show my stuff to people, so I’m always excited to receive feedback from an audience who is following what I do. When one of my comic strips is appreciated, I feel like a young virgin checking out his first porn mag (without the sexual element).” How cute is that? So, if you want Benjamin to spurt all over his mail-order catalogue, go post comments on his blog and share his cartoons. He’s also got a Facebook page containing further material that you can like here.

So, what’s new in his life? “I recently took part in an anti-homophobia movement with 70 other authors. I’m also going to meet some publishers to turn the blog into a book. I’m trying not to get too excited, but with a bit of luck, a few copies of Macadam Valley will be gathering dust in bookstores.”

This would be great for our guest, who reckons he’s been a student “since forever.” He spent 4 years in an art school before becoming a Webmaster. He gave himself a year before “becoming serious.” He concludes, “2012 is a great year.” 

Here goes the next part!

Dogs or cats?
Haha, funny, as if people would prefer cats.

What are the latest movies, music, books and cartoons you’ve enjoyed?
Last week I saw “De rouille et d’Os” by Jacques Audiard. As for books, I’m a huge Irvine Welsh fan, the only author who can make me laugh out loud in public transportation. No, scratch that, there’s also Mel Gilden, who gives depth to already complex characters. And I’ve just finished “Black Hole” by Charles Burns. No doubt about it, this man knows what he’s doing.

Who are the main artists you enjoy, and whose blogs you check out regularly?
I have a terrible blog culture, so there’s not many of them that I check out. The exception is without a doubt Ultimex and Steve. I really enjoy Charlie Poppins, Anne-Lise Nalin and my friend Piet Bulle, in totally different styles.

What do you enjoy in life, your passions and vices?
I like to laugh, have fun, and see my friends and my girlfriend.

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
The only thing I can think of is losing sight of what really matters.

As an ending, ask yourself a question that you would’ve liked to be asked.
Do you have anything else to say?

 

And to see this week’s illustrated FML, click here.

 

That wasn’t too bad now was it? Yeah, ok, it’s missing the videos of the week, but don’t worry, they’re coming right up. In case you missed it, here’s the fantastic Weetabix commercial with its dancing bears. Next, here’s two Star Wars themed ones. First up, an Imperial march with floppy disk drives, and then check out a kid’s reaction to the “I am your father” scene, filmed by his dad. See you next week guys!

 

Got talent and want to take part in a future illustrated FML? Send me an email to alice@fmylife.com including your blog’s address or some examples of your work.

#1285 - Illustrated FML - On 06/01/2012 at 7:19pm by Julien - 1 comments

New to FML?

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, some are funny in a sad way, but it's all for your entertainment. Sometimes, all you need to feel better about your life is to know that someone else has it worse off than you, and that he/she is, despite everything, able to laugh it off and tell everyone about it with humor and self-deprecation.

So now, read on, explore the myriad stories on the website (the most recent ones are on the homepage), choose your favorites, share them, comment on them (just click on a story and the comments section will reveal itself), and then feel better about yourself and your own predicament.

Oh, there's also a "members only" area which allows you to have your own Fmylife account, totally free, which comes with many extra advantages such as your own profile page, new comment notifications on FMLs you've commented on, get sent a newsletter... and many more to come. So, you can sign up right now if you want to, and join our happy family!

Your advice, comments and ideas are all welcome, so: spill the beans.

#1257 - About FMyLife - On 05/27/2012 at 5:12pm by The FML Team - 9 comments

The FML mailbox

You can't always explain what's going on in this crazy world, but at least you can have a good laugh about it. That's basically why FMyLife was created. We have no idea why half of the published FMLs happen, but we sure do know one thing: the artists who take part in the traditional Saturday illustrations use their amazingly crazy imaginations to conjure up amazingly funny comics. And it magically works. I sure use a lot of adverbs today. Anyway, here comes Katie Tiedrich!

 

-Katie, how old are you?
-I'll be twenty-one in a little less than two months!

-Where do you live?
-Westchester, New York.

-Are you still a student?
-Yes, I'm studying Mechanical Engineering.

-Seems faaar away from drawing comics!
-Haha, it kind of is.

-Can you tell us more about your studies?
-Well I'm planning to concentrate on robotics. Right now that mostly boils down to a ton of math, and I draw comics whenever I'm not doing that. The people who know me from my comics are confused when I say I'm studying engineering, and the people who know me from school are confused when I say I also do artsy things. I guess it's a weird Venn diagram?

-I think people are just jealous. Robotics and comics? Come on, that's just nuts. Now you told us about your studies, what about your webcomics?
-Well, I do a comic called Awkward Zombie, which, in one sentence, is about video games. I've been doing it for a little over five years and it's kind of grown way out of where I expected it to go. I also provide the art for a comic called Aikonia, which is a fantasy comic and sort of darker than AZ is.

-How do you draw, which techniques do you use?
-My whole process is digital: I use a Wacom Intuos4 tablet and I do the whole comic from start to finish in Flash. It's, uh, not the best program for comics, but I like it because of reasons. I also tend to draw several comics at once, because working on one thing from start to finish without interruption tends to let weird little errors slip through. I like to come back to something after working on something else for a while, because that's when you notice things like "oh, his shoulder is coming out of his chin."

-Are you more into "one drawing" or into webcomics with a story and stuff?
-I like to draw comics! I like being able to tell a story or a joke. I don't think I really have the technical skill to pull off an interesting illustration, but a comic has so many other inputs that you can still impress people with the way you frame a sequence of events. I think timing is a huge portion of comedy, and there isn't much way to convey that in one panel or drawing. At least not that I've figured out!

-What are your inspirations?
-I think my very first inspiration to start creating stuff was my dad, who drew things for me when I was a kid, and it made art seem like a really fun thing to do (and as it turns out, it is). I grew up reading Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side, and I think they both really leached into the way I draw comics. At the moment, I follow a ton of amazing artists on the Internet, whose secrets I am constantly trying to steal.

-Who, for example?
-I could list names all day, but I admire Yuko Ota (http://www.johhnywander.com) for her line work, Gigi DG (http://cucumber.gigidigi.com) for her coloring, Dave Shabet (http://deadwinter.cc) for his panel layouts, and KC Green (http://www.gunshowcomic.com) for his sense of humor. Among MANY OTHERS.

-Webcomics are like potatoes chips, one is never enough.
-Absolutely.


 

-How would you like to see your webcomic evolve?
-I'd like to say I want to find the best way to tell a joke, but it's hard to stop and think of a comic that does "the best" sort of humor, because it differs by joke-teller and humor is kind of a weird thing to try to quantify. I guess what I should say is that I want to get better at it in general, because sometimes I'll feel like I've nailed a comic and it's perfect, but other times I'll go in with a joke I liked at conception but find I really don't know how to put it together it and it comes out kind of defective. So I'd like it to be less of a hit-and-miss sort of operation, at least for me.

-Did you experience a FML moment yourself?
-I spent last fall at an internship in Connecticut, and at one point I had to leave my car at a mechanic's for repairs. It was in a town I'd never been to before so I didn't know anybody there, so I took a taxi to work in the morning (about five miles), and tried to call for one after work to get back home. I worked across the street from an airport, and I guess the taxi service preferred customers who had to be taken to other cities, rather than my five miles, so the guy on the phone said he wasn't going to send me a cab. Five miles might not be that far for a car but it sucked having to walk it in work clothes and dress shoes.

-I bet it does! Last question! Why did you choose this particular FML story?
-I wanted to do an "other side of the story" sort of an illustration, and I thought that particular FML was actually pretty weird from both sides. You never see the other party, whoever is taking this dude's mailboxes, so it could have been anyone. Even a giant eagle.

-I think you have something to do with this. But I'll keep it to myself. Thank you Katie for taking part!
-Thank you for having me!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Katie's webcomic : http://www.awkwardzombie.com/


If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 

 

#1281 - Illustrated FML - On 05/25/2012 at 4:25pm by Alice - 1 comments

FML will get her off for you

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a little. Anyway, I'm still alive (unlike Robin Gibb... aw, I'm evil), so now it's time to reveal the interview. And just so you know, at the end there's a little bonus, an FML of his own that he also illustrated for us. LOTR and hood piercing fans, you're more than welcome!

 

 

-Henrik Tomenius, how old are you?
-Hi! I'm 35 years old.

-Where do you live?
-I'm born and raised in Sweden. I live in Uppsala. It's a university town just north of the capital Stockholm.

-What is your job?
-I currently work as an illustrator for educational material (science and such). I have a background as a research scientist. But comics are my biggest interest and I run two webcomics : Twistedspeedo.com and poorlydrawndinosaurs.com

-Science was your first love, before comics?
-No. I actually quit doing comics to become a researcher (do a PhD). It's so intense that one can hardly do much else. Anyhow I finished my PhD and noticed I missed doing comics so I picked it up again.

-What are your inspirations when it comes to drawing?
-Well story-wise I take inspiration from news in technology, gaming, science and international politics. Whatever catches my interest could be of use and I usually end up twisting it in one way or the other to make it more interesting for comic readers.

-Do you read webcomics yourself?
-Yes I regularly read Saturday morning breakfast cereal (that we welcomed here), Space avalanche, Maneggs and Perry bible fellowship. All great comics!

-What's your future?
-Right now I'm assembling the comics I made so far into books that will be available on Amazon this year. Other then that I will just continue updating as often as I can which is far too seldom.

-So tell us more about Twistedspeedo.com and poorlydrawndinosaurs.com! When it comes to webcomics, it's like a real jungle, what make your webcomics stand out?
-They are fairly similar in the setup but poorlydrawndinosaurs focus on dinosaurs (obviously) and twistedspeedo on everything else I find interesting. I try to keep the amount of text low in both comics and tell the story using pictures. Both comics can have subjects that are sad...

-What would you say to people who'd like to start their own webcomics? What tips can you give them?
-That's a hard question... I guess it's important to find a subject that you really like yourself and then make comics that revolve around that. If you like the subjects the comics will be relevant for other people with similar interests and you get readers that way. And the usual: practice a lot. Draw everyday etc... and have fun!

"Today, two midgets destroyed everything I ever worked for. FML"

 

 -As you're Swedish, why did you choose to write a webcomic in English?
-I mainly read comics in English and the webcomic scene in Sweden is non existent. I want as many people as possible to read and enjoy my crazy stories thus English was the only option.

-And last question! Why did you choose this particular fml story?
-Haha... I actually don't know.. My subconscious wanted to do that one so i did it.

-Oh, and you actually did TWO comics, would you say a word about the second one ?
-Both of them were the work of my subconscious. I usually take in a lot of information and what gets stuck gets made into a comic. I read a lot every day. When I read through the list of FML the one with the piercings just "got stuck" in my head (pun intended). And the other one, with Sauron, is a FML of my own (obviously).

-Thanks Henrik!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 




If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 

 

#1277 - Illustrated FML - On 05/25/2012 at 4:22am by Alice - 2 comments


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