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Illustrated FML (263) - About FMyLife (35) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Martin Singer's Illustrated FML

Hey people, peace! Hang about, let me go park my car. Wait a minute, it’s a bit too dangerous around here, and I’m going back home.

But first, let’s get to know this week’s artist. It’s not every week that we can say that our guest is 42, lives in Calais and is a teacher called Martin Singer. But we can this week. Yes, Martin is a teacher. “I teach in my town’s art school, and have done since September 2000. I get to work with kids and adults of all ages, over various subjects.”

What is that you enjoy in what you do, and what do you miss? “I like teaching because I have to come up with new subjects, and this great unknown component is very motivating. As for my own personal work, I’ve done loads of different things: painting for about ten years, then movie drawing work for 8 years and lately cartoons with the “Bigger Than Life” blog that I created to advertise my albums, after noticing at a festival that people with blogs were more popular than people who didn’t have one. I try to post a drawing a day. What I miss is having talent, I have none! So I’ve had to work twice as hard to learn how to draw…”

The effort has paid off because today’s guest has a real nice way with a pencil, and can also boast a great sense of humour. At the moment, things are definitely moving in the right direction, a second book of his cartoon series “Fox, no fixed abode” will be released in September and “Be stupid and shut up” will be released at the start of 2013.

Mister Singer went to art school for five years before embarking upon a series of little jobs, then settling on the only job he didn’t really want to do: teaching. “What’s good about this job is that it gives me time to cook. Erm, no… to draw I mean.” Between cookery and drawing, are there projects linking the two? “Yes, a story that I started at the beginning of the year: ‘Whipped cream’ (provisional title), an SM thing which takes place in an aristocratic setting with masters, slaves and whips.”

Well, that’s the serious stuff done with, on with the rest.

Cats or dogs?
Dogs are needy, they lick you, bark, sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble. So I definitely prefer cats… they’re needy, they lick you, they meow, they sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble. So I definitely prefer women! Then again… they’re needy, they lick you, they meow, they sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble.

What are the latest things you liked in movies, music and cartoons?
“The Artist” made me want to create a book in the same style: a completely silent cartoon. I really enjoyed “Traboule”, a cartoon by Pochep. The last book I read and enjoyed was “Un jour sans” by Remy Benjamin and Pero, a story about a Lord in the middle ages who goes on a crusade, a really good cartoon. As for standard books, I really enjoyed the optimism of “Nausea” by Jean Paul Sartre. The latest Bill Haley record blew my socks off and the Beatles, they’re groovy maaaan.

Who are the artists you appreciate and whose blogs you visit?
I have my list, I visit them frequently: PochepLaurelKekZelbaObionGallyCharlie PoppinsGad, etc.

What do you enjoy in life, your passions, your pastimes, your vices, your little day-to-day pleasures.
I like to cook pasta in the microwave. Opening the door for the cat every 5 minutes. Only read the headlines in the newspapers. Lighting a match. Hanging ties on the wall. Playing soccer with Schopenhauer. And finally, drinking a glass of rum and smoking a cigarette while a nostalgic tune plays in the background.

Tell us a joke. Or if not a joke, tell us your own personal FML.
Today, I went to an ATM. I was so inside my own head that I forgot to pick up the cash and just carried on my merry way. FML

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
A phobia? I have loads! I hate reading a book upside down. Travelling is torture, if I had to be reincarnated, I’d be a tree.

To finish off, ask yourself a question you would like to have been asked and then answer it.
Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is? A phobia? I have loads! I hate reading a book upside down. Travelling is torture, if I had to be reincarnated, I’d be a tree.

 


There you go, another successful interview done. It will also be so for this week’s videos. Using a bicycle can be dangerous, especially in Africa. When you have two Labradors and one of them is deaf, who do you call them? You get the other Labrador to go and get him. Isn’t that cute? See you next week!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with her, and she will tell you what you have to do! 

#1293 - Illustrated FML - On 06/14/2012 at 1:40pm by Julien - 0 comments

Dafuq is this book?

 

Fmylife’s World Tour book is released today. It collects the best of life's most horrible moments, shared by people from all around the globe, and includes exclusive new entries.
After three years of existence of Fmylife.com and about a billion visits, 5,800,000 FMLs have now been submitted from all around the world, of which 19,000 have been published. And guess what? Whatever the country of origin, its culture, or its history, we have now been able to scientifically prove that the same screw-ups happen to all sorts of people, every day.
Take a look and try and guess where these FML stories originate from (the right answers are at the end):

1- Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

2- Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me, which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

3- Today, I had my hair cut and straightened to impress this girl at work. She seemed really impressed and acted really nice to me all of a sudden. Turns out it's just because she thinks I'm gay now. FML

4- Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

5- Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh don't smile." FML

6- Today, in the early morning, a worker started drilling right in front of my window. He left 5 minutes after my alarm clock rang. FML

7- Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

 8- Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him; I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

 9- Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

10- Today, my friend had to take my cat to be put down, since he has a tumor. I wasn't home, since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

11- Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

12- Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

 13- Today, I was acting, as Prince Charming for a 5-year-old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML

 14- Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

15- Today, I felt the urge to pee while skiing. The instructor pointed to some bushes. Once behind them, I dropped my pants and underwear, only to start sliding down the hill. Unable to stop, I slid out from behind the bushes and landed on my ass next to group waiting for me on the slope. FML

1- Japan
2- Pakistan
3- Israel
4- Thailand
5- Greece
6- Finland
7- United Kingdom
8- Peru
9- Canada
10- USA
11- Australia
12- New Zealand
13- Kuwait
14- Egypt
15- France

Here's the home-made advertisement, it was created by our publisher with her own camera. Take that Steven Spielberg!

 

 

#1289 - Books - On 06/05/2012 at 2:56pm by The FML Team - 5 comments

Ben Dessy's Illustrated FML

Hello everyone! The weather is starting to look mighty fine, and tomorrow I’m off to the magical world of Disney, so if you’ve got a message for Minnie Mouse, now’s the time. I’ll be showing her what I’ve learned to do with a piece of wood, and then we’ll be going down a slide. She’s going to love it.

So, what have we got for this week? Today’s artist is from Belgium, and he reckons he’s called Benjamin Dessy, aka Ben Dessy. All the way from Brussels, he’s 25 and is currently a researcher, researching job opportunities. Besides that, he fills his days by drawing as many things as he can to stick on his blog (that I strongly advise you to check out) and he makes a living by creating posters and designing websites.

“I’m new to the blog world, and in the past I wouldn’t show my stuff to people, so I’m always excited to receive feedback from an audience who is following what I do. When one of my comic strips is appreciated, I feel like a young virgin checking out his first porn mag (without the sexual element).” How cute is that? So, if you want Benjamin to spurt all over his mail-order catalogue, go post comments on his blog and share his cartoons. He’s also got a Facebook page containing further material that you can like here.

So, what’s new in his life? “I recently took part in an anti-homophobia movement with 70 other authors. I’m also going to meet some publishers to turn the blog into a book. I’m trying not to get too excited, but with a bit of luck, a few copies of Macadam Valley will be gathering dust in bookstores.”

This would be great for our guest, who reckons he’s been a student “since forever.” He spent 4 years in an art school before becoming a Webmaster. He gave himself a year before “becoming serious.” He concludes, “2012 is a great year.” 

Here goes the next part!

Dogs or cats?
Haha, funny, as if people would prefer cats.

What are the latest movies, music, books and cartoons you’ve enjoyed?
Last week I saw “De rouille et d’Os” by Jacques Audiard. As for books, I’m a huge Irvine Welsh fan, the only author who can make me laugh out loud in public transportation. No, scratch that, there’s also Mel Gilden, who gives depth to already complex characters. And I’ve just finished “Black Hole” by Charles Burns. No doubt about it, this man knows what he’s doing.

Who are the main artists you enjoy, and whose blogs you check out regularly?
I have a terrible blog culture, so there’s not many of them that I check out. The exception is without a doubt Ultimex and Steve. I really enjoy Charlie Poppins, Anne-Lise Nalin and my friend Piet Bulle, in totally different styles.

What do you enjoy in life, your passions and vices?
I like to laugh, have fun, and see my friends and my girlfriend.

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
The only thing I can think of is losing sight of what really matters.

As an ending, ask yourself a question that you would’ve liked to be asked.
Do you have anything else to say?

 

And to see this week’s illustrated FML, click here.

 

That wasn’t too bad now was it? Yeah, ok, it’s missing the videos of the week, but don’t worry, they’re coming right up. In case you missed it, here’s the fantastic Weetabix commercial with its dancing bears. Next, here’s two Star Wars themed ones. First up, an Imperial march with floppy disk drives, and then check out a kid’s reaction to the “I am your father” scene, filmed by his dad. See you next week guys!

 

Got talent and want to take part in a future illustrated FML? Send me an email to alice@fmylife.com including your blog’s address or some examples of your work.

#1285 - Illustrated FML - On 06/01/2012 at 7:19pm by Julien - 1 comments

New to FML?

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, some are funny in a sad way, but it's all for your entertainment. Sometimes, all you need to feel better about your life is to know that someone else has it worse off than you, and that he/she is, despite everything, able to laugh it off and tell everyone about it with humor and self-deprecation.

So now, read on, explore the myriad stories on the website (the most recent ones are on the homepage), choose your favorites, share them, comment on them (just click on a story and the comments section will reveal itself), and then feel better about yourself and your own predicament.

Oh, there's also a "members only" area which allows you to have your own Fmylife account, totally free, which comes with many extra advantages such as your own profile page, new comment notifications on FMLs you've commented on, get sent a newsletter... and many more to come. So, you can sign up right now if you want to, and join our happy family!

Your advice, comments and ideas are all welcome, so: spill the beans.

#1257 - About FMyLife - On 05/27/2012 at 5:12pm by The FML Team - 9 comments

The FML mailbox

You can't always explain what's going on in this crazy world, but at least you can have a good laugh about it. That's basically why FMyLife was created. We have no idea why half of the published FMLs happen, but we sure do know one thing: the artists who take part in the traditional Saturday illustrations use their amazingly crazy imaginations to conjure up amazingly funny comics. And it magically works. I sure use a lot of adverbs today. Anyway, here comes Katie Tiedrich!

 

-Katie, how old are you?
-I'll be twenty-one in a little less than two months!

-Where do you live?
-Westchester, New York.

-Are you still a student?
-Yes, I'm studying Mechanical Engineering.

-Seems faaar away from drawing comics!
-Haha, it kind of is.

-Can you tell us more about your studies?
-Well I'm planning to concentrate on robotics. Right now that mostly boils down to a ton of math, and I draw comics whenever I'm not doing that. The people who know me from my comics are confused when I say I'm studying engineering, and the people who know me from school are confused when I say I also do artsy things. I guess it's a weird Venn diagram?

-I think people are just jealous. Robotics and comics? Come on, that's just nuts. Now you told us about your studies, what about your webcomics?
-Well, I do a comic called Awkward Zombie, which, in one sentence, is about video games. I've been doing it for a little over five years and it's kind of grown way out of where I expected it to go. I also provide the art for a comic called Aikonia, which is a fantasy comic and sort of darker than AZ is.

-How do you draw, which techniques do you use?
-My whole process is digital: I use a Wacom Intuos4 tablet and I do the whole comic from start to finish in Flash. It's, uh, not the best program for comics, but I like it because of reasons. I also tend to draw several comics at once, because working on one thing from start to finish without interruption tends to let weird little errors slip through. I like to come back to something after working on something else for a while, because that's when you notice things like "oh, his shoulder is coming out of his chin."

-Are you more into "one drawing" or into webcomics with a story and stuff?
-I like to draw comics! I like being able to tell a story or a joke. I don't think I really have the technical skill to pull off an interesting illustration, but a comic has so many other inputs that you can still impress people with the way you frame a sequence of events. I think timing is a huge portion of comedy, and there isn't much way to convey that in one panel or drawing. At least not that I've figured out!

-What are your inspirations?
-I think my very first inspiration to start creating stuff was my dad, who drew things for me when I was a kid, and it made art seem like a really fun thing to do (and as it turns out, it is). I grew up reading Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side, and I think they both really leached into the way I draw comics. At the moment, I follow a ton of amazing artists on the Internet, whose secrets I am constantly trying to steal.

-Who, for example?
-I could list names all day, but I admire Yuko Ota (http://www.johhnywander.com) for her line work, Gigi DG (http://cucumber.gigidigi.com) for her coloring, Dave Shabet (http://deadwinter.cc) for his panel layouts, and KC Green (http://www.gunshowcomic.com) for his sense of humor. Among MANY OTHERS.

-Webcomics are like potatoes chips, one is never enough.
-Absolutely.


 

-How would you like to see your webcomic evolve?
-I'd like to say I want to find the best way to tell a joke, but it's hard to stop and think of a comic that does "the best" sort of humor, because it differs by joke-teller and humor is kind of a weird thing to try to quantify. I guess what I should say is that I want to get better at it in general, because sometimes I'll feel like I've nailed a comic and it's perfect, but other times I'll go in with a joke I liked at conception but find I really don't know how to put it together it and it comes out kind of defective. So I'd like it to be less of a hit-and-miss sort of operation, at least for me.

-Did you experience a FML moment yourself?
-I spent last fall at an internship in Connecticut, and at one point I had to leave my car at a mechanic's for repairs. It was in a town I'd never been to before so I didn't know anybody there, so I took a taxi to work in the morning (about five miles), and tried to call for one after work to get back home. I worked across the street from an airport, and I guess the taxi service preferred customers who had to be taken to other cities, rather than my five miles, so the guy on the phone said he wasn't going to send me a cab. Five miles might not be that far for a car but it sucked having to walk it in work clothes and dress shoes.

-I bet it does! Last question! Why did you choose this particular FML story?
-I wanted to do an "other side of the story" sort of an illustration, and I thought that particular FML was actually pretty weird from both sides. You never see the other party, whoever is taking this dude's mailboxes, so it could have been anyone. Even a giant eagle.

-I think you have something to do with this. But I'll keep it to myself. Thank you Katie for taking part!
-Thank you for having me!

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Katie's webcomic : http://www.awkwardzombie.com/


If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 

 

#1281 - Illustrated FML - On 05/25/2012 at 4:25pm by Alice - 1 comments


FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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