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Illustrated FML (265) - About FMyLife (35) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Djausdr's Illustrated FML

 

Hi gang! Many of us on here are finally realizing that summertime has arrived, and we’re hoping that this time it’s for good. To fight the heat, you have two solutions. Either by keeping out of the heat, especially your head, it’s very important. Or make the most of the heat by trying out a new style of cooking. I’ve already made my choice. I’ll be right back; I’ve got things in the oven.

I’m glad to see you again anyway. Let’s get straight to it with our guest, who has a very strange pseudonym. Ladies, Gentlemen, straight from the blog The sky is fallin’, here’s Djaúsðr. “To make it easier and for various accounts and addresses on the Internet, it can be written djausdr but never djausor. It can be pronounced but shouldn’t be attempted. It hurts your tongue.”

Djausdr is 28 and claims to live in a small village of 200 inhabitants where he runs a semi-combat club. This subject may be covered in a future article, it certainly seems like it deserves to be.

“I think I love everything that I do. Except when it doesn’t work out. What I need at the moment is times when things actually go to plan.” He’s quite the philosopher.

At the moment, Djausdr is trying to find a way to move to Paris (this is probably the only serious information in this not so serious article) and he’s learning underwater telepathy (it didn’t remain serious for very long).

As for the last two answers, here they are in full, sorry. Where did today’s artist go to school, and then do for work? “I took part in the Vietnam war. Which meant that I was crap in high school so I switched to a more manual education where I discovered body hair and philosophy. I wanted to study psychology at college but I tripped and ended up in a graphic design school in Paris. They raised dragons by feeding them mushrooms to see if they’d spit out grass, which appalled me. So I moved to Toulouse where I finished my studies all the while trying to avoid becoming an alcoholic. Since getting my diploma, I’ve been looking for a stable job.”

Hmmm, could’ve been worse. What about his projects. “I’d like to set up a graphic design studio with a mandatory naptime, in a near future where there would be flying cars. I’d like to finish writing a book and write two others, write a storyline for a comic book and get an artist to draw it and destroy the black holes with his talent (I can’t name names because I don’t know who the artist is yet), start a band, make a really polished short movie with good equipment and (semi) professional actors, have children to transform them into robots which would probably cause a split with the mother except that she wouldn’t know that I’d already also turned her into a robot during her sleep, and finally, I’d like to enter the national table curling team."

Right then. On to the next bit.

Cats or dogs?
I’m afraid of dogs and cats are too mainstream so let’s say: A TAPIR.

What are the latest things you liked at the movies, musically and in comic books?
I went to see Moonrise Kingdom that I really liked, as with most of Wes Anderson’s stuff (by the way, last night I dreamt that I crept into his studio to discover that he’d fused with Wim Wenders and had turned black).
At the moment I’m constantly listening to the latest Gravenhurst and Liars albums. I have to listen to the latest Sigur Ros album but I keep forgetting.
I’m not really up to date with what’s occurring in the literary world, I take books off shelves a bit randomly. I couldn’t tell you what really got me worked up the last time. The one I do remember is Spinoza fucks Hegel by Jean-Bernard Pouy. I read it in a night.
As for comic books, my dad bought me Blast for Xmas; it knocked me on my ass. I’ve noticed that a second book has come out, I must get it.

Who are the main artists you like and whose blogs you visit regularly?
JanineOdettBarbuForza PedroRoxanne B.KJFNoël RasendrasonGeffroy MondeJuliette Boutant...

What do you enjoy in life, your passions, and your vices, your everyday pleasures?
I like waking up with nice dreams to write down on paper, not to analyze but just to keep a trace of. I discovered quite late in life that I like hiking. There’s nothing better than arriving in a deserted area and sitting on a warm rock in the sun to play a bit of game boy.
I also stuff small animals and put electroluminescent diodes on their nipples to scare old ladies who are feeding pigeons.

Can you tell us a bad joke? You have a joker: if you can’t tell us a joke, you can tell us your biggest FML.
OK, here’s a riddle I made myself then.
Do you know what’s the difference between 7 and 4? (Here you can answer whatever you want) No, they’re numbers.

To finish off, ask yourself a question you’d have liked to have been asked, and answer it (or not).
Do you know who invented looking? To tell you the truth, I know nothing about it.

 

And to see this week’s illustrated FML, click here.

 

There you go. Happy? Wait, have a few videos before you go. When Joey quits his job at the hotel where he was badly treated, he does it like this. And when a kitten pretends to be dead, he does it like that. So, happy now? See you next week!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with her, and she will tell you what you have to do!

 

#1301 - Illustrated FML - On 06/29/2012 at 11:44am by Julien - 0 comments

FML on two wheels

Hello everybody! Today we're back in the USA with an artist from Illinois. You sure do know his webcomic featuring lovable rabbits living crazy-funny-sad lives. So grab your pet, whatever it is, and start reading his interview, some rabbits may be hidden below!



-Hello everyone, my name is Ryan Pagelow!

-How old are you?
-I'm 33

-Where do you live?
-I live in Chicago.

-What's your job?
-I'm a photojournalist as a day job. I also have a comic strip Buni which is syndicated online through Universal Uclick.

-Concerning the photojournalism, are you freelance or do you work for a special client? Also, do you take pictures of anything specific?
-I am a staff photographer for Sun-Times Media which owns a bunch of papers around The Chicago area. I shoot news, sports, features ... Anything and everything that comes up

-Does your job somehow affect your comic strip Buni?
-Not really. But meeting new people every day and being in strange situations helps the creative process. Also photography helps with composition and telling a story without words. I was a cartoonist before I was a photographer

-Tell us more about your webcomic then, what is it about?
-Buni is a we comic about an optimistic, loser bunny with terrible luck. Always positive, Buni doesn't understand that the cute world he lives in is really out to get him, whether at the hands of mafia teddy bears or garden gnomes. However he remains undeterred, even when it comes to the girl he loves who clearly has a boyfriend and is uninterested in Buni. The comic's simple dialogue-free format is designed for an international audience.

 

-How long have you been running this webcomic?
-I created it in 2009 for the comic strip superstar contest. I started running it online in 2010.

-Why are you working with bunnies? Are you a Roger Rabbit fan?
-I originally created the strip with a Hello Kitty sensibility in mind. Cute, simplistic characters. But I wanted it to be sad funny, not haha funny. Depressing in a funny way. However, I quickly realized that a static character like Hello Kitty which doesn't express emotion or move would be very difficult to use in a comic strip with no dialogue. So I added expression to Buni. I'm not sure why I chose a bunny. I liked Bongo from LIfe in Hell. He's a little bit like Bongo. Buni was originally all white, but I added black arms and legs and ears to stand out when it's printed in black and white in newspapers.

-What are your inspirations?
-I have read comics since before I could read so everybody is my inspiration. However for Buni specifically, I would say Life in Hell and Perry Bible Fellowship. Also early Peanuts strips with Charlie Brown were really dark and depressing. Buni is kind of like an early Charlie Brown.

-How do you work?
-I write comics every morning before work for an hour or so and every night after work for about an hour. At the end of the week I pick the best three or four comics and pencil them with non-photo blue pencil on bristol paper. Then I ink them using a rapidograph pen. I scan the art then in Photoshop I add borders, touch-up any mistakes, and save a black and white version for newspapers and a color version for the web.

-Have you experienced a FML moment yourself?
-I believe everyone has. That's pretty much every day in Buni's life, but he doesn't let it bring him down.

-Last question! Why did you choose this particular FML story?
-I chose this story because it didn't really require dialogue and I felt like I could add to it. A lot of the FML stories are pretty self-contained, beginning, middle, end, so it's hard to expand on them. This story was more of a set-up. Originally I was going to draw a single panel frame with a cop on a motorized scooter chasing down the old man on a motorized scooter who had just run someone over.

-Your comic is awesome. Thanks for taking part!

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Ryan's webcomic : http://www.bunicomic.com/


If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do! 

 

#1297 - Illustrated FML - On 06/22/2012 at 12:19pm by Alice - 0 comments

Martin Singer's Illustrated FML

Hey people, peace! Hang about, let me go park my car. Wait a minute, it’s a bit too dangerous around here, and I’m going back home.

But first, let’s get to know this week’s artist. It’s not every week that we can say that our guest is 42, lives in Calais and is a teacher called Martin Singer. But we can this week. Yes, Martin is a teacher. “I teach in my town’s art school, and have done since September 2000. I get to work with kids and adults of all ages, over various subjects.”

What is that you enjoy in what you do, and what do you miss? “I like teaching because I have to come up with new subjects, and this great unknown component is very motivating. As for my own personal work, I’ve done loads of different things: painting for about ten years, then movie drawing work for 8 years and lately cartoons with the “Bigger Than Life” blog that I created to advertise my albums, after noticing at a festival that people with blogs were more popular than people who didn’t have one. I try to post a drawing a day. What I miss is having talent, I have none! So I’ve had to work twice as hard to learn how to draw…”

The effort has paid off because today’s guest has a real nice way with a pencil, and can also boast a great sense of humour. At the moment, things are definitely moving in the right direction, a second book of his cartoon series “Fox, no fixed abode” will be released in September and “Be stupid and shut up” will be released at the start of 2013.

Mister Singer went to art school for five years before embarking upon a series of little jobs, then settling on the only job he didn’t really want to do: teaching. “What’s good about this job is that it gives me time to cook. Erm, no… to draw I mean.” Between cookery and drawing, are there projects linking the two? “Yes, a story that I started at the beginning of the year: ‘Whipped cream’ (provisional title), an SM thing which takes place in an aristocratic setting with masters, slaves and whips.”

Well, that’s the serious stuff done with, on with the rest.

Cats or dogs?
Dogs are needy, they lick you, bark, sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble. So I definitely prefer cats… they’re needy, they lick you, they meow, they sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble. So I definitely prefer women! Then again… they’re needy, they lick you, they meow, they sometimes bite you, you have to take them outside, wash them, nothing but trouble.

What are the latest things you liked in movies, music and cartoons?
“The Artist” made me want to create a book in the same style: a completely silent cartoon. I really enjoyed “Traboule”, a cartoon by Pochep. The last book I read and enjoyed was “Un jour sans” by Remy Benjamin and Pero, a story about a Lord in the middle ages who goes on a crusade, a really good cartoon. As for standard books, I really enjoyed the optimism of “Nausea” by Jean Paul Sartre. The latest Bill Haley record blew my socks off and the Beatles, they’re groovy maaaan.

Who are the artists you appreciate and whose blogs you visit?
I have my list, I visit them frequently: PochepLaurelKekZelbaObionGallyCharlie PoppinsGad, etc.

What do you enjoy in life, your passions, your pastimes, your vices, your little day-to-day pleasures.
I like to cook pasta in the microwave. Opening the door for the cat every 5 minutes. Only read the headlines in the newspapers. Lighting a match. Hanging ties on the wall. Playing soccer with Schopenhauer. And finally, drinking a glass of rum and smoking a cigarette while a nostalgic tune plays in the background.

Tell us a joke. Or if not a joke, tell us your own personal FML.
Today, I went to an ATM. I was so inside my own head that I forgot to pick up the cash and just carried on my merry way. FML

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
A phobia? I have loads! I hate reading a book upside down. Travelling is torture, if I had to be reincarnated, I’d be a tree.

To finish off, ask yourself a question you would like to have been asked and then answer it.
Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is? A phobia? I have loads! I hate reading a book upside down. Travelling is torture, if I had to be reincarnated, I’d be a tree.

 


There you go, another successful interview done. It will also be so for this week’s videos. Using a bicycle can be dangerous, especially in Africa. When you have two Labradors and one of them is deaf, who do you call them? You get the other Labrador to go and get him. Isn’t that cute? See you next week!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with her, and she will tell you what you have to do! 

#1293 - Illustrated FML - On 06/14/2012 at 1:40pm by Julien - 0 comments

Dafuq is this book?

 

Fmylife’s World Tour book is released today. It collects the best of life's most horrible moments, shared by people from all around the globe, and includes exclusive new entries.
After three years of existence of Fmylife.com and about a billion visits, 5,800,000 FMLs have now been submitted from all around the world, of which 19,000 have been published. And guess what? Whatever the country of origin, its culture, or its history, we have now been able to scientifically prove that the same screw-ups happen to all sorts of people, every day.
Take a look and try and guess where these FML stories originate from (the right answers are at the end):

1- Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

2- Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me, which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

3- Today, I had my hair cut and straightened to impress this girl at work. She seemed really impressed and acted really nice to me all of a sudden. Turns out it's just because she thinks I'm gay now. FML

4- Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

5- Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh don't smile." FML

6- Today, in the early morning, a worker started drilling right in front of my window. He left 5 minutes after my alarm clock rang. FML

7- Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

 8- Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him; I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

 9- Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

10- Today, my friend had to take my cat to be put down, since he has a tumor. I wasn't home, since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

11- Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

12- Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

 13- Today, I was acting, as Prince Charming for a 5-year-old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML

 14- Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

15- Today, I felt the urge to pee while skiing. The instructor pointed to some bushes. Once behind them, I dropped my pants and underwear, only to start sliding down the hill. Unable to stop, I slid out from behind the bushes and landed on my ass next to group waiting for me on the slope. FML

1- Japan
2- Pakistan
3- Israel
4- Thailand
5- Greece
6- Finland
7- United Kingdom
8- Peru
9- Canada
10- USA
11- Australia
12- New Zealand
13- Kuwait
14- Egypt
15- France

Here's the home-made advertisement, it was created by our publisher with her own camera. Take that Steven Spielberg!

 

 

#1289 - Books - On 06/05/2012 at 2:56pm by The FML Team - 5 comments

Ben Dessy's Illustrated FML

Hello everyone! The weather is starting to look mighty fine, and tomorrow I’m off to the magical world of Disney, so if you’ve got a message for Minnie Mouse, now’s the time. I’ll be showing her what I’ve learned to do with a piece of wood, and then we’ll be going down a slide. She’s going to love it.

So, what have we got for this week? Today’s artist is from Belgium, and he reckons he’s called Benjamin Dessy, aka Ben Dessy. All the way from Brussels, he’s 25 and is currently a researcher, researching job opportunities. Besides that, he fills his days by drawing as many things as he can to stick on his blog (that I strongly advise you to check out) and he makes a living by creating posters and designing websites.

“I’m new to the blog world, and in the past I wouldn’t show my stuff to people, so I’m always excited to receive feedback from an audience who is following what I do. When one of my comic strips is appreciated, I feel like a young virgin checking out his first porn mag (without the sexual element).” How cute is that? So, if you want Benjamin to spurt all over his mail-order catalogue, go post comments on his blog and share his cartoons. He’s also got a Facebook page containing further material that you can like here.

So, what’s new in his life? “I recently took part in an anti-homophobia movement with 70 other authors. I’m also going to meet some publishers to turn the blog into a book. I’m trying not to get too excited, but with a bit of luck, a few copies of Macadam Valley will be gathering dust in bookstores.”

This would be great for our guest, who reckons he’s been a student “since forever.” He spent 4 years in an art school before becoming a Webmaster. He gave himself a year before “becoming serious.” He concludes, “2012 is a great year.” 

Here goes the next part!

Dogs or cats?
Haha, funny, as if people would prefer cats.

What are the latest movies, music, books and cartoons you’ve enjoyed?
Last week I saw “De rouille et d’Os” by Jacques Audiard. As for books, I’m a huge Irvine Welsh fan, the only author who can make me laugh out loud in public transportation. No, scratch that, there’s also Mel Gilden, who gives depth to already complex characters. And I’ve just finished “Black Hole” by Charles Burns. No doubt about it, this man knows what he’s doing.

Who are the main artists you enjoy, and whose blogs you check out regularly?
I have a terrible blog culture, so there’s not many of them that I check out. The exception is without a doubt Ultimex and Steve. I really enjoy Charlie Poppins, Anne-Lise Nalin and my friend Piet Bulle, in totally different styles.

What do you enjoy in life, your passions and vices?
I like to laugh, have fun, and see my friends and my girlfriend.

Do you have a phobia? If so, what it is?
The only thing I can think of is losing sight of what really matters.

As an ending, ask yourself a question that you would’ve liked to be asked.
Do you have anything else to say?

 

And to see this week’s illustrated FML, click here.

 

That wasn’t too bad now was it? Yeah, ok, it’s missing the videos of the week, but don’t worry, they’re coming right up. In case you missed it, here’s the fantastic Weetabix commercial with its dancing bears. Next, here’s two Star Wars themed ones. First up, an Imperial march with floppy disk drives, and then check out a kid’s reaction to the “I am your father” scene, filmed by his dad. See you next week guys!

 

Got talent and want to take part in a future illustrated FML? Send me an email to alice@fmylife.com including your blog’s address or some examples of your work.

#1285 - Illustrated FML - On 06/01/2012 at 7:19pm by Julien - 1 comments


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  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

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