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Illustrated FML (262) - About FMyLife (34) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (13) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

FML's crap hook ups

Hormones, like booze, will throw humans at each other. It's a scientific fact. The "beer goggles" is the name of the phenomenon where the ingestion of alcohol makes a 3 seem like an 8, and the next morning you wake up and wonder whose bedroom you are in, who that person is next to you in bed, and where the hell you parked your car (and underwear for that matter). Once you've got your brain in gear and had a coffee, you vow to stop hooking up with just any old guy/gal that you can get your greasy hands on. Then, a few days later, you do it all over again. This video shows you just what sort of thing can happen if you're not too careful. It's fun to do alright, especially if deep down you're lonely and start listening to your hormones a little too intently... but watch your step, it's bad for your health in the long run. Just use protection if you're going to mess around, eh? Anyway, check out the FML video guys!

 

#1372 - Videos - On 04/23/2013 at 9:11am by The FML Team - 30 comments

Polinko's Illustrated FML

Hello my lovelies! Are you glad to see me again? You are allowed to show it. Should we indulge in a quick kiss to celebrate it? No? Ok then…

Never mind. I'll tell you about the artist of the week instead. He's 21, comes from Annemasse, "the capitol of the world", and is called Paul Lannes AKA Polinko.

What does he do? "I get up in the morning, I eat cornflakes, I go to school, then I spend the day drawing on bits of paper and sometimes, I'll converse with people and think about serious stuff like: "Hasn't that man got a long arm?", "Should I have hanged that bit of paper a bit higher?" or "Who is more badass, Sangoku or Marcel Duchamp?", all the while placing clever words like "post-modernism" or "vernacular", it makes me look smart. And at the weekend, I guard things in a museum to pay for my cornflakes."

Paul explains that what's cool about drawing is that for him it's the best way, for him, to open up holes in reality and get bits of wood to talk to strange little men, amongst mystical mountains. "Because, reality, when you have to fill out paperwork to pay electricity bills, is often very boring. And what I'm missing are ripped muscles, superpowers and manga hero's charisma. I'd like to be able to talk in punch lines as well. That must be classy."
His latest new? "I get up in the morning, I eat cornflakes, I… Oh, already said all that. Erm, well, I'm on FML."

Paul's road isn't over, but he explains how he got here: "For me, life started at primary school, the time and place I became the coolest guy in the world. I lived in a tiny village in the mountains where cultural activities were pretty slow. And then I became the first to discover, and introduce the playground to Pokémon and Harry Potter. No need to tell you the social standing that sort of thing brings. After that, middle school, adolescence, mangas (a lot less classy in society at that time of life of course), high school, art school prep, then HEAD in Geneva, visual arts section. And now I'm preparing to attempt some other school entry exams to further myself. Wish me luck or I'll beat you up."

If I was you, I'd wish him luck in the comments; it's best not to annoy our Polinko. Any projects? "Make the most of life and sleep, sometimes. Ah, and have a Pokédex full of Red Pokémon as well (there are things that never go away)."

We can imagine. Right, next bit.

Cats or dogs?
A dog is an idiots, so it's cool. A cat is a proud creature so it's cool too. I need a hybrid.

What are the latest things you liked in movies, music, books and comics?
The last movie I saw was Django Unchained, so no need to go on about this masterpiece. The soundtrack is great, too, but I've been listening a lot to Devendra Banhart's new album, Mala and Temperamental by Don Cavalli. I've enjoyed reading the interviews with Joann Sfar by Thierry Groensteen. The last comic to make me tremble due to narrative success and imagery (which happens a lot) must've been Diary of a Ghost by Nicolas de Crécy.

Who are the main artists you like and whose blogs you check out?
In no particular order: Niv Bavarsky, Nylso, Helkarava, Yoann Sacré, Diego Ybarra, Zéphir, Tarmasz, Corpus Caca, Julien Dinkel, Hugo Ruyant, Manu Larcenet, Mégaboy, Adrien Fricheteau, Thomas Rouzière, Mayumi Otero, Renart, Sacré Walt, and Nicolas André.
All good people!

Tell us what you like in life, your passions, pastimes, vices and everyday pleasures.
The thing that gives me the most pleasure, the most emotions, that keeps me warm during the winter nights and the keeps me cool when summer is dry is in one word: drawing.
Hahaha! No, I'm joking, if I'm drawing now, it's only because my parents forced me, with a whip, at a very young age so I'd have something to bring the bacon home with. It was either that or opera singing; the choice was made pretty quickly.

Tell us a bad joke. Possible joke: if you don't have a joke, tell us your biggest FML.
I'm going to tell you a little number that was told to me by a master, a which sets fire to every gathering I'm invited to: "Did you hear about the guy whose head was so big, he wore two hats!" Admit it, you're laughing!

To finish up, ask yourself a question that you would've liked to have been asked, and then answer it if you want.
The scene happens before my eyes with the realism of an HD TV: a charming young lady opens the conversation and asks me: "Paul, you being so intelligent, do you know what cuniculture is? It's been keeping me up at nights just thinking about it!" And me, sampling replying: "You know, sweet flower (I'm a romantic) my culture is overflowing with knowledge and I'll know move you into the light, away from the darkness of ignorance by telling you that cuniculture is… rabbit breeding!"

 

To see this week's illustrated FML, click here.

 

See you next week! Well, after the videos. First off, with this amusing parody of a dubbed advertisement, and a cat that loves snow. I'm outta here, bye homies!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1371 - Illustrated FML - On 04/20/2013 at 10:07am by Julien - 1 comments

FML's top texting fails

Communicating via text message is a major pain in the backside. Mistakes, misunderstandings, and miscommunications are rife whenever texting is involved. Many have fallen by the wayside due to a misjudged SMS, and receiving one can be akin to being sent a digital grenade. One small push of a button and your already dwindling reputation can be reduced to smoldering wreckage quicker than you can say "LOL WUT?" You may sit there and think that it's never going to happen to you, but it can, and it will. Watch this and see what'll happen to your chops then.

#1370 - Videos - On 04/15/2013 at 9:48am by The FML Team - 47 comments

Pretty FML

Fun fact #1: today's comic was originally created in October 2012.
Fun fact #2: today's artist might be the most inspirational artist we've had on FML.
Fun fact #3: one human hair can support 3.5 ounces.
Fun fact #4: I just googled "fun fact human body" to be all scientific, serious and stuff.
Fun fact #5: the interview begins right now!

-What is your name, surname and nickname? 
-Roberto Torres, friends call me Rob.

-Why did you choose this nickname? 
- I didn't choose it, most of my friends are anglo so they just shorten my name to rob since it's easier than Roberto or Berto.

-How old are you? 
-36.

-Where do you live? 
-Central Florida.

-What's your job ? 
-Full time artist/illustrator.

-What's your journey? (Side note, this may be a long answer but believe me, this artist's story is an inspiration.)
-Uf, this is a long one. When I was a kid I was a bright and, honestly, self absorbed guy who believed he was smarter than anyone else in the world. As a result I made some of the most spectacularly stupid decisions ever recorded by anyone ever. The first of which was quitting school in 12th grade and getting a GED because "a high school diploma and college degree was just a piece of paper and what matters is that I'm a freaking genius".

I left art behind and began to concentrate on technology as my thing and during that I got jobs doing anything I could get paid for. Everything from file clerk to oil-well monkey in the gulf of Mexico. Eventually I got tired of back breaking work and decided that I needed a piece of paper from a school so I can use what I already knew to make money. So I went to a technical college (ITT Tech) and got my paper and started doing IT work. I did that for 11 years. Then, I spent 3 years of looking for work in IT and 3 years of disappointments, frustrations, tears, anger, depression, weight gain... It was an awful time. 

 

 

Anyway, during the time I was employed, I managed to make the FIRST right decision I had made since I was 16. I bought Photoshop CS2 and a Wacom intuos 3 drawing tablet. I left them in their boxes because I was too busy, but this would come back to me after I went through the whole three years of hell I previously mentioned. So there I was one day and I was actually crying and yelling at the world in my tiny apartment while my wife was at work. I remember I was yelling at God or whatever is out there that is bigger than us and admitting that this situation was all my fault but I really needed a break. A sign that there was hope for me because I was feeling really useless.

So there I am crying and a mess when I look up and literally sticking out from behind a closet door was the edge of the Wacom box. I went over and took it out along with Photoshop and suddenly remembered I had bought these things and wondered why I hadn't installed them yet. I remembered when I was 14-16 and was drawing my own comics and making stories and would jealously guard my comic book collection from my younger brother and it made me smile and just like that... light bulb. Definitely a groovy moment. So I started googling about art, art careers, how to become an artist, how to make this ME. I was surprised to see that I could do this. The rest is history. I started doing a webcomic then two webcomics and that lead to my falling back in love with my first love, art. I began to dedicate myself to everything about comics and the mediums used to make them. I became this devourer of art styles, instruction, technique, and now... three years after that day where all I felt was pain and despair, I am a self employed freelance illustrator that does everything from commissions to comics (indie publishers for now, but that may soon change)

-(See? Told ya.) What are your inspirations? 
-Life, my wife, pain, anger, sadness, television, music, great books, other artists.

-Do you read webcomics? 
-I do! At first I mostly read funny ones but these days I am really into a serialized story driven set of webcomics. My favorite are Adrastus by Liz Staley, Twilight monk by Trent Kaniuga, Dynagirl Online, Super fogeys, Skullkickers (which was originally a print comic and is now both a print comic and a free online comic and it's made by a team from image comics), Off-white by Anna Podedworna & Katarzyna Redesiuk are just the ones I can name off the top of my head

 

 

-Tell us more about your website, Punkin Studios.
-Funny story. I love my wife dearly. This is a woman that supports my art career and the fact that it doesn't bring in a steady check is A-OK with her. We are not rich by any means (she's just a public school teacher after all) so we do struggle. Despite all that, she manages to love me and appreciate me and she never calls me by my name. To her I am just punkin. So while I was deciding what to name my studio and site, she said, "Oh! Call it punkin studios because you're my punkin and this is your studio." So I did! She's given me many a chance to back out of the name because she's concerned it makes my studio and me sound stupid. But to me, the name reminds me of the one thing in my life that gives me more peace than my art does. So the name stays. 

-How do you work? 
-Mostly digitally and while I have gallons of coffee coursing through me. But at conventions (and on rare occasions) I will do traditional pencil and ink stuff. Though if I sell that, it's a little more expensive than my digital stuff since that is basically all printed and therefore worth less.

-Why did you choose this FML story? 
-HAH! because I have a cousin who is really pretty, in that she paid for it with money and time on her back under a knife way, and she thinks her looks can get her out of anything. I know that isn't true and could see this totally happening to her someday... if it hasn't already.

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 

Roberto's websitehttp://www.punkinstudios.com/

 

 

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1369 - Illustrated FML - On 04/12/2013 at 2:15pm by Alice - 5 comments

FML's Star Wars problem

Over the course of its existence, FML has received a large amount of stories relating to the Star Wars franchise. This leads us to believe that the movies have not only left their mark on one initial generation of fans, but these fans are regenerating as the baton is passed down via some sort of merchandise-related DNA, which has created an addiction more powerful than sugar or booze.  Millions of people all over the world are infected with a Star Wars bug that makes them crazier than any rabies-infected dog bite. And this is the result on their mind-brains. Check it!

#1368 - Videos - On 04/08/2013 at 11:05am by The FML Team - 45 comments


FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

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