Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blog main page | RSS feed | All posts

Illustrated FML (265) - About FMyLife (35) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

FML's Day at the Beach

The beach is a tough place to hang out if your body doesn’t live up to society’s tough standards. Thanks, fashion magazines, you’ve made us all paranoid about our butts and bellies. The beach is usually full of perfect people, with perfect lives, living out perfect Frisbee competitions with their perfect friends, while we get sand in our crotches, sandwiches and eyes. Legendary stand-up comedian Bill Hicks had this to say of the beach:
“It's where dirt meets water, alright? (…) I've got a bathtub and an imagination; I'm staying indoors this summer. That way I can listen to music that I like. Maybe I'm just jealous man, everyone at the beach is perfect, you know; tanned skin, white teeth, I've got white skin, tanned teeth.”

So, there’s sun, sand, implied sex that we’re not having, and beach balls. Too many beach balls. The only thing cool about the beach was the Beach Boys, and most of them looked like they never went to the beach. So boo to the beach. Those perfect people are probably idiots anyway. Yeah, let's all make sweeping generalizations based on looks, that'll make us feel better.

Here at FML, we’ve reluctantly been to the beach. We came back with some stories that we caught in a small net, bought from some shady shack by the road that they always seem to have, and the Video Guys have made some of them into a short film. They look good on the beach in this, though. That’s probably due to the tons of special effects involved in the making of this video.  We hope you enjoy watching it as much as they enjoyed making it.

#1384 - Illustrated FML - On 05/27/2013 at 8:53am by The FML Team - 9 comments

Sharina's Illustrated FML

Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever released; an amazing mish-mash of old and new, electro-soul and robofunk grooves. It’s just magical; Rod Stewart’s new album really proves that he definitely is God. Anyhoo, tis finally the weekend, which means it’s time for an illustrated FML, so on with the show.

This week we’re welcoming Sharina, AKA Tisha in the blog world. She lives in France and works as a 2D-3D graphics designer, and she enjoys creating atmospheres, injecting color and being able to work on good animation projects. However, she reckons she needs “a stable job”. If you’ve got any going, she’ll probably accept your (serious) offers.
Right now she’s working on a short film, “La vie sans truc” (Life without ‘thing’) as chief colorist, all the while being assistant director on another short film called “Limbo Limbo Travel”.
So, what’s her story? “After a 3D animation diploma, I wanted to leave Paris to get away from the terrible weather and stressful lifestyle. I went south to Angouleme, then Bordeaux to start working in animation studios. I returned to Paris, worked on a short movie called “Logorama”, then on some video games, and then some animated TV shows.”
Her current projects included something called “Kokoro”, which is a collective of several artists (Kosal, Kappou, Marine, Gael Roulin, Cédric Babouche, Meme and herself) who put their talents at the service of charity. “An initial art book has been released and will be on sale at the Paris Japan Expo. At the moment we are working on a second art book with new members like Pascal Campion, Sergi Brosa, Anna Cattish, Ken Niimura, Paku and Marss! There will also be some surprise guests! You can support us via our fanpage.”
Well, we’ll always try to support any form of charity effort even if we look like a bunch of slackers. But for now, on to the next part of the interview.

Cats or dogs?
As long as it’s small, hairy and cute! (I’d like to point out that this ONLY applies to animals, haha).

What are the latest things that you enjoyed at the movies, in music, books and comics?
At the movies I loved Django Unchained. I listen a lot to Flume, Bernhoft, Pretty Light, Chapelier fou and many more. And to get back to my roots: Ludovico Einaudi.
In comics, I really loved Eco by Almanza.

Which artists do you like and whose blogs do you frequently check out?
The list might go on for a bit! Hmm, I’ll start with the masters: Wendling, Bianco, Enrique Fernandez, Dalena, Barbucci, Canepa. Nob and Almanza.
I also check out bloggers such as Emilie Decrock, Kosal, Minikim, Anna Cattish, Ciaa and Tship.

Tell us what you enjoy in life, your passions, pastimes, vices and everyday pleasures.
Zoning out walking around, the wind in my hair, headphones on my ears and music blaring. Playing the piano, pulling out my camera, playing video games and drawing of course. And doing all this with a tub of chocolate-chip mint ice cream!

Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it?
Me? A phobia? Never! Well, OK, I’m afraid of insects and creepy-crawly things.

To finish off, ask yourself a question that you would’ve liked to have been asked, and then choose whether or not to answer it.
-Don’t I own you a tub of chocolate-chip mint ice cream?
-OH YES, I’ve been waiting for it for 3 years!

 

Click here to see Sharina's Illustrated FML

 

So there we have it. That was Sharina. We thank her for her wonderful illustration, and for taking part in the FML experience. Next week, we’ll be welcoming a cat that has learned to paint with its tail and who has made an illustration for us using watercolors and ash. No, not really, but maybe one day we will. We can only live in hope. Never forget your dreams. We dream of cats that would paint stuff for us. Erm, yeah… OK. See you next week, and in the meantime, be excellent to each other.

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1381 - Illustrated FML - On 05/24/2013 at 8:54pm by Julien - 5 comments

FML’s Roommates from hell

If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would also have no need for unfulfilling relationships, search for that one true love that rom-coms would have us believe actually existed. Life would be one long parade of cats, booze and high-carb meals. Unfortunately, the economy as it is means that we can’t afford to live the dream, unless you’re the person who invented the Rastafarian-hat-with-the-fake-dreadlocks. Some of us, not having that special someone (i.e. an extra income), or the money themselves, have to resort to sharing their accommodation with other people, mainly strangers (AKA weirdoes). And that’s when the trouble starts. Because hell is other people, as French footballer Sartre said. It starts with food in the refrigerator being labeled with each other’s names, then maybe names and polite reminders, and then some added threats and insults. Or the case of the roommate who doesn’t pay his rent because he spent all his money on getting a bangin’ new stereo system for his piece of shit truck. There are many reported cases of terrible roommates; wasn’t The Exorcist just an example of two roommates just not getting along? Here’s another installment in FML’s video series, about roommates and the troubles they can cause. Enjoy!

Ben Giroux of the FML Video Guys is launching a new web series today on his YouTube Channel SH*TTY DATES! Watch the worst dating failures that prove... love stinks. Have your own SH*TTY DATE? Make sure to subscribe to Ben's channel and leave it in the comments!
 

Produced by: Small Red Cape and Cameo Content
Producers: Sean Barney, Hali Gardella, Eddie Quintana
Directed by: Eddie Quintana
Director of Photography: Keith Lancaster
Written and Created by: Ben Giroux and Scott Burman
Starring: Ben Giroux, Sonia Rockwell, Lars Slind, Clay Larsen, Ervin Ross, Alexis Krause, Sascha Alexander, Nicci Faires, Arnie Pantoja, Scott Burman, Phil Celia, Ray Chase, Matt Field, Anna Giroux, Wil Garret, Gev Manoukian, Christopher Raff, Dave Shabaz, and Kelly Weldon.

#1380 - Videos - On 05/20/2013 at 10:36am by - 56 comments

Break that FML

Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're welcoming a couple. What's better than doing the thing you love with the person you love? Personally, I'm still searching.

 

 

-So, two artists for the price of one, lucky us! Introduce yourself dear artists.
-The names are Jim Perry (Writer) and Allison Myres Perry (Artist). We don't really use nicknames with our art, but we go by a slew of other names when we play games - generally because 'Jim the Warrior' is not as awesome sounding as, say, 'Trask, the brute'.
 

-How old are you?
-We're both 29, but Alli is older than I am by about 4 months (Which I continue to jest is the difference between the Jurassic and cretaceous period. I generally get a punch in the arm for this, though).
 

-You deserve that one buddy. Where do you guys live?
-Aylmer (Gatineau), Québec, Canada. Suburbia. Nice place. Soulless at times and you can swear that some days, your street looks like that one from that zombie movie you liked so much. Creepy.
 

-Like every single suburb. What's your job?
Jim: I'm a computer technician. I keep machines up and running for the government of Canada. There's not much else to say except that some days can be so busy I forget what time it is and don't eat lunch and others can be slow enough that I see time crawl by.
Alli: Insurance broker. I listen to people who want advice on home and auto insurance. Sometimes the customers can become irritated because of an accident and I'm the first line of contact to figure out how their car/house is going to get fixed.
 

-What's your journey?
-Don't Stop. Believiiiin'
 

-Oh my gosh, that's the first time I've heard that one :| 
-No, seriously now. Our journey is simple - we want to live life. We are in the process of working on Out of My Element while still developing a few other stories for when OoME is finished (This will be a while). Along the way, we hope to make friends with other aspiring artists and like-minded individuals. Recently, we've been blessed with the arrival of our little girl. We hope that in the future, she will be able to look upon Out of My Element, raise her head to us and ask us: 'Mommy/Daddy, why didn't you do a story about raptors?' With our little one now in our lives, we truly want to live life to its fullest so that we can watch her grow up and share in her experiences.

-What are your inspirations?
-For the comic? Well. Political themes that have run the course of the history of the human race. Steampunk settings, mainly because of the look, feel and something about the gritty and amazing world it inhabits. We built most of the story's feel and theme around Abney Park's music. Their genre of steampunk story music is a very heavy influence.  As an example, the songs Building Steam, Clockyard and The Story That Never Starts are excellent inspirational songs to listen to when we're working on Out of My Element. Alli's artistic inspirations are rooted quite deeply into both Disney and Anime. Having watched both of these genres since childhood, it's only natural that she developed her art in accordance to these styles.
 

-Do you read webcomics?
-We both have a(n) (un)healthy list of webcomics that we frequent. To name a few: The End, I am ARG!, Girl Genius, Order of the Stick, Oglaf, Overlod of Ravenfell, Namesake, Two Guys and Guy, Crazy Sunshine, Awkward Zombie. These are just the tip of the iceberg in all honesty. If you wanted a whole list, I'd probably have to deliver it to you via USB stick and then unzip the internet for you :P
 

-Tell us more about your webcomics.
-The website's design was provided for us by the talented Ran Brown of The End. So, we have to thank her for that because it looks awesome. The story of OoME itself is rather simple, but with enough twists that it should remain entertaining for the readers. The world is in the future, but humankind has lost most of its technology and has been forced to resort to a Steam-based power source.  Society has reached a point of stagnation and our unwitting heroine finds herself smack dab in the middle of the whole revolution.
 


-How do you work?
-It's a team effort. I have sort of a director's cut of the story in my head and I try (With my stickmen and horrible 'characteristics) to convey what I see happening in the story to Alli, who then takes my stickmen and breathes life into the story. From here, we translate what I've scrawled in exploded chicken scratch into words. Go over the dialogue together while debating on whether the characters would use certain lingo or if the phrases mix properly. We'll probably be doing an 'extras' in the future detailing every step of the way, with graphics and many hours of Alli cursing my name. The medium originally used in chapter 1 through 3 of Out of My Element was cardstock and marker with a black and white colour pallette. Recently, we have acquired a Yiynova monitor and are in the process of plotting out chapter 4 as a computer-based, full colour endeavor. Quite a change in medium, if I do say so myself. We look forward to seeing what the fans think of the difference!
 

-Why did you choose this FML story?
Jim: Honestly, I chose it. Alli would have preferred another one, but we both know that this story is relatively close to what would have happened to us early in our relationship. We'd argue, make up and go and do something fun together and sometimes, I'd accidentally do something stupid and get her angry at me again. Usually it involved me being a clumsy lummox, much like the poor fool in the comic. But, luckily for me, she loves clumsy lummoxes. Especially ones who don't know when to shut up :)

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 

Out of My Element webcomic: http://www.oomecomic.com/

 

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1379 - Illustrated FML - On 05/15/2013 at 11:06am by Alice - 4 comments

The Worst Moms Ever

We could be lazy and start off with a "your momma" joke, but your mom is so nice that she'd probably bake us a cake and pat us on the head, and those jokes are crap anyway. Because most moms are nice. We want to be adopted by Kitty from That '70s Show, Mrs Cunningham from Happy Days, or the coolest mom ever: Lorelei Gilmore from The Gilmore Girls. Admittedly, some moms are evil; Victoria Grayson in Revenge is pretty dire as a mom, she'd probably stab you in the nuts while kicking a badger's face off. But these moms are all fictional of course. We're more concerned about all the real moms out there, the ones that make up the FML family. Those moms can be something of a mixed bunch; from evil to embarrassing, from silly to drunk and disorderly. But all in all, we love them dearly, otherwise, we wouldn't be writing about them so much. They fill up the pages of FML like drunks at a wine tasting and we can't get enough of them. So from all of us at FML, Happy Mother's Day to all the FML mothers out there!

#1378 - Illustrated FML - On 05/12/2013 at 4:18pm by - 8 comments


FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: