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Illustrated FML (339) - About FMyLife (101) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (18) - Pictures (14) - Books (9) - Special guests (8) - Competitions (6)

FML Pics : The top 4 pics

They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the world! We've even got users in the southern hemisphere, and rumour has it that the singer Adele used it on her latest album (probably not true though). Everyone can empathise with the crapness of the situations, a lot of us have blown a gasket in a supermarket parking lot; a lot of us have put our feet through a pane of glass while off our faces on PCP. Or maybe that's just us.

As previously, the FML app has been adding to its catalogue of pics. People have been taking more and more pictures with the app, editing them, adding the FML logo, text, writing captions, voting and commenting on each other's pics… Just like the FML app, but with pictures.

Last time, we had a hit parade of our favourite user submissions so far. We've created what we called the FML Pics Top 4 Best Pics! We mentioned that a Top 4 was weird. So, this time, it's still a Top 4. Because FML is weird and wonderful, and we don't give two hoots what people think. So here's this month's Top 4, featuring the actual FML Pics user's caption underneath each photo.


#4: So that's why they don't pay tax

"Look how well my IKEA bed was made. Flimsy cardboard."


#3: Scratch cards, not smash cards.

"Smashed the lottery case at work while putting away items."

#2: The Built to Spill remix album

"Bought a new seal joint, forgot to fit it, switched it on anyway."


#1: The saddest of them all

"Was feeling single as fuck so I decided to hold hands with mannequins
and take pictures.


So, what can you do now? Get the FML Pics app for your iPhone or iPad by clicking on the icon below of course, and then join in the fun. It's free of course, it's easy to use and we're here for any questions you may have about it. Oh, and no point using pictures from imgur or anywhere else. It's for your own pictures, not other people's.


We'll be posting more Top 4 pics in due time, so get snapping, you may be featured soon!

#1558 - About FMyLife - On 11/24/2015 at 5:26am by Alan - 11 comments

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

Let's not kid ourselves, there’s not a great vibe at the moment, globally. It's now the weekend after last weekend, the shitty weekend, the weekend when the wheels came off in Paris. Life goes on though. If we stopped publishing, if we stopped having fun, if we hid ourselves, if we were constantly afraid, if we cried non-stop, it would mean that the idiots would’ve have won. That’s not going to happen, folks. So, here we are again with a brand new illustrated FML. Usually, FMLs is the day to day crap that makes you laugh, something that you can imagine living yourself. We will try to forget about the unimaginable, just so we can present the artist of the week. "Talking about something else doesn’t mean we stop thinking about it, MOFO" - Sophie Marie Larrouy. Come on, let’s do this.


"Strangely, I prefer chips to cookies, but if I had to choose a brand, I'd pick the classic chocolate ones from Lu."

Autoportrait Mselle par Risa

This week Raïsa is with us for the ride. This young lady is rather mysterious because I don’t know how old she is. Or she just forgot to tell me. We'll call her by her nickname, Mselle Risa.

Her info:
Age: No idea
Location: Internet
Website: Her blog
Her illustrated FML: The short one

Mselle Risa contacted us some time ago with a well enthusiastic email. At the time, we were wary about agreeing because we were not sure how she would go about interpreting an FML, but we had been wrong to even doubt her talent for interpretation. Her illustrated VDM is rather clever and cute. And that's what we need right now, cute things. Kittens, candy and hugs. Speaking of which, this morning I was on the verge of offering to hug the girl who works in the bakery opposite my building (the one for which I have a boundless, unconditional love, albeit a secret one) due to the world being a shithole, and that we have to seize all opportunities to share moments of tenderness. Then I realised it was 7:15 a.m., I still probably stank of the previous night’s cheap wine, and she certainly doesn’t share this attraction, or desire to share tender moments. So I took my sandwich and I scuttled off without saying anything. Anyway, I digress.

Who is Mselle Risa? What is she up to ? “At the moment, I’ve decided to work while waiting to retake my accountancy degree. I've always loved to draw, but due to lack of time, I started to neglect my passion. This year is THE year I stop finding excuses. Before I was a little piece shit, drowned in piss-flavoured sorrow due to my degree failure. But now I am reborn ... I would say, I feel "Let it goooooo, let it gooooo“ (big up Elsa). Ok, I’ll get my coat." I said that if I heard a reference to that song one more time, I scream a scream of hatred and despair. I just did, I shouted, “WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON’T HURT ME” out my window. But seriously? "No seriously. That's why I decided to create my blog and my Facebook page. A big step for me. In short, to answer your question, I can manage things and do whatever what I want. Take more time to draw, practise so I don’t lose my touch." Practise makes perfect. Or is that plastic surgery? Nah, have you seen those people?

What do you like about what you do? "Knowing that for once, this is my own little universe. Having this sense of control. "I've got the power", as my friend Jim Carrey would say.” Wait, what? Jim Carrey? What a younger person’s mistake. I’m an old fart, I'll educate you. It comes from "The Power" by Snap. What a great song, so many memories of not scoring with girls with that playing in the background. "What I do, what I create, it all belongs to me and I cherish this power. I draw for me. How cool is that? You know, that moment when you have an idea, you get to transcribe it perfectly on paper. And finally, for a moment you giggle like a fool while drawing? That’s what I love. From the moment my own drawings make me laugh, I know I’ll be able to communicate that to at least one other person." The pleasure of making people laugh, I know that desire and heady rush. It’s a personal pleasure, too, although I prefer to do it via words and Facebook statuses for the moment! And what you need to complete your happiness? "Oh god, a drawing tablet! Thanks to Christmas and the generosity of others, which I hope will be huuuuge and my own money of course, my goal will be achieved. At the moment I'm working by scanning my stuff, but it would be a real plus to have a small tablet. I already idealise it in its bassinet. Yes, I said bassinet." I hope you get it. And while we’re on the subject, I would like as a gift a whole bunch of money. Lots of money to go on vacation. And buy me a giant cat tree thing.

What’s your news then? “I’m just starting to find a good rhythm for my illustrations. I have to feed my baby blog. So for my news, I will say my blog. There may not be many items, but everything is homemade with love, all sprinkled with humour." And your projects, apart from your blog fed with love and humour? “Publish a comic book. 5 years ago, a crazy idea, which should have remained a joke amongst other people, took shape on paper. When I'm done and I feel ready to share, I'd really like to publish it. This is one of my main goals, if not my dream. Although, it’s a dream, it doesn’t mean that I’ll succeed... I know that drawing isn’t my profession, I’m not an illustrator, I have no training as such, but it does not undermine my resolve. And also, maybe nobody will engage with the story. But never mind, I must do it, even if it comes out when I’m 100. Yes, I also plan to live a long life." I don’t recommend it. My grandmother is 97 years old and she complains about it. She bored, and will say so to anyone who will listen. So I guess we might as well eat badly and booze away.



What made you want to draw, at the outset? "My big brother. I was 6 years old when my brother amused himself by copying Dragon Ball Z, to draw Goku. The girls in Nicky Larson. Me, like a sheep, did the same. It started like that. And so on for all the cartoons I saw." This seems to be the right school for learning how to draw for a lot of illustrators.

Your little pleasures in life? "I love cooking and eating. A perfect combination. Those who know me know that I love snacking. Watching TV shows and reading books. Making origami objects. But drawing remains my ultimate hobby!"

How about a personal FML if you have one? "One winter morning, (I say this because it was still dark), I left the bus to trundle to class. My eye was caught by a beautiful cat by a hedge near a store. There was nobody around, so I jumped at the chance to see him. While stroking him, I felt sorry for him, it felt from his rough fur that he’d lived for a long time in the street. Then our eyes met, and I noticed that his were all lifeless, and I realised that the cat was dead! You can imagine my scream." Ewww! That’s awful ! Yes, OK, I'm a crazy cat lady. Poor cat.

And finally, do you have any advice for new artists? “You must give yourselves the means to succeed. Nothing is impossible, only limits that you impose on yourself. If you know that your artistic background is weak, draws as much as you can, to acquire a solid foundation."

There, that's it for this week. Thank you Mselle Risa for your illustrated FML, it was a pleasure to have you amongst us. Next week, it’ll the turn of a horse that paints with its tail but only if a dog is looking at him and barking. It will be fun, I promis. I leave you with a band that was little known until recently, who did an excellent cover of an excellent song by an excellent band from the ’80s. See you next week, be excellent to each other, and everything will be alright. I think. 

How about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email on [email protected], not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

#1557 - Illustrated FML - On 11/20/2015 at 10:50am by Alan - 1 comments

The real FML

There are days, like today, when saying "Fuck my life" isn't enough. It loses all meaning when compared to something truly awful. Everyday crap takes a back seat, and the traumatic can't be avoided.

As you may or may not know, FML was created and is run in France, a country which was hit by terrible attacks yesterday evening. We actually know people who were hurt by the bullets. This means that we can't bring ourselves to laugh at anything, for now. All our thoughts go to the people, any people, who were affected by this tragedy. The fucked up lives are theirs for now, and we're taking a step back to reflect on the state of things around us.

No FMLs will be posted today.

We stand united. Don't let the bastards get you down. We'll smile again tomorrow, maybe.


Peace for Paris (@jean_jullien)

#1555 - About FMyLife - On 11/14/2015 at 4:19am by FML - 135 comments

Bramblelady's illustrated FML

It's Friday, it's time to partay with the illuminatay! It is finally time to kick off my high heels and tear off my dress suit, but first we’re going to the weekly meeting where we’ll be introduced to the FML artist of the week. Everything will go according to plan, and everyone will be in a great mood, partly due to the fact that we’ll be stuffing our faces with Pringles and Jack Daniel’s. I mention these two brands specifically, hoping that this deliberate and free publicity will get me the honour of receiving a delivery of a whole range of their delicious products. It would be really nice of them. Anyway, let’s get on with the show!


"As soon as I go outside, I'm always imagining the worst disasters that could happen to me, the slightest little insult, a kidnapping, or a spontaneous combustion."

Self-portrait Bramblelady by Elise

This week, we’re back in the fabulous world of Manga. This time, we’re guided by a young girl, whose youth makes me grumpy.

Her info:
Age: 16
Location: "In Annonay. Which means nothing to you, so Lyon, France."
Website: Her blog
Her illustrated FML: The one about the pregnancy

Bramblelady is as I said an illustrator from the younger end of the age spectrum. But her talent is already beyond her years, and wide enough for anyone, as you can see. She comes from the Lyon region in France, and she had contacted us via a simple email a few weeks ago, and here we are in the future, discovering who she is, what she likes, and why she does what she does. Because that's the goal of this part of FML, discovering the artists and allowing them to express their pain, their doubts, their pleasures. We are here to get acquainted, much like dogs sniffing their asses at the dog park, but in a little more civilised fashion.

So who is she? What does she want ? "I'm in my final year of high school, and in fear of the baccalaureate at the end of the year (the french high school diploma), because I’m scared of failing it... But don’t go thinking I’m a pessimist, I’m a very optimistic person!” With such a positive attitude, you must love your life? "I love to draw, but mostly creating small comics; what I enjoy most without a doubt is seeing someone laugh or smile looking at what I’ve created. I like humour and I think that in this sometimes sad world, we could all do with some from time to time, more than we think.” I totally agree. You can tell a society has got a morale problem by checking the amount of successful comedy shows there are. Well, unfortunately, at the moment, people are going out in droves to see absolute shit like Dane Cook and Larry the Cable Guy, so things must be bad out there.

You're still young, so your school days must be quick enough to describe I suppose? "As I said, I’m in my final year of high school. Next year I want to integrate an art school or perhaps go to Belgium to go to a comics school." It's a great idea, you must pursue this path. We must follow our dreams, unless our dreams are the same as Charles Manson’s.

Do you have a news to tell us about? "Not much. Work, work and more work. After all, in the my year at high school, it's no wonder. I always try to find moments to draw, but I never take much time to fully apply myself and I sometimes find myself with a great idea but a... less than great end product." Sometimes, the funniest cartoons aren’t the most technically proficient, but it’s the idea behind that gets the laughs and which matters the most. The story does everything, and if the two can be combined, it’s even better! In any case, we hope she makes it.

Do you have any other projects, besides the diploma at the end of the year? "Unfortunately, way too many. Designing a cartoon from start to finish, doing sculptures, paintings, animations... I don’t know where to start!" I wouldn’t be worried, it’s rather a good thing to have a whole bunch of projects. The opposite would be sad. Empty, a low point, a desert. Enjoy yourself!

Is there someone, someone or something that made you want to draw? "As a child, I admired my mother, who draws exceptionally well, I wanted to draw as well as she did! Both on my father's side and my mother's side artists were present, which pushed me into this path. And I don’t regret it."

Tell us what you love in life, your passions, your hobbies, your vices, your little pleasures of everyday life? "After a long day in the rain and collapsing from all the work, I like to go back home, make myself a hot chocolate, wrap myself in a blanket and spend hours scrolling through Tumblr, watching a good series, drawing for a while or playing my 3DS. A hermit's life in short. But I never get bored of it! " That's understandable, I'm a bit like that. After a long day moderating FMLs and dealing with its users, I like to open up a bottle of wine, empty it down my gullet and lie down in a warm gutter. Speaking of work, you have to be comfortable to work properly. Where do you like to be? "In my bed. It's a little weird, but before you ask, yes, I have an office like everyone else. I was climbing the ladder with my pencil case, some sheets of paper, a book as a support and my headphones, I get right nice and comfortable in my bed and I start. The inspiration for my drawings and comics often comes to me before going to bed very late and this is where all my ideas come together. But it's true that losing pencils and pens under the duvet turns this moment of relaxation into a real headache."

Any artists that have blogs you can tell us about, how we can find them and give them a little shout out? "I love piratesourcil for his outlandish comics and unexpected twists, the rest of my favourite artists are on DeviantArt and they are too many to name!" DeviantArt, this endless rabbit hole! We care leave our readers to go to your page and then find out for themselves.

A personal FML at your young age, is that even possible? "Today, a girl who I befriended during an activity invited me to take one of her two headphones to listening to music with her. She started the music all happy, then frowned at me with disdain and said, "Damn, you took the one that works.” Hey, you know what, that one could actually have been posted on FML if you’d submitted it. What a shitty person that girl was. I’m sure she was listening to shitty music as well.

And finally, do you have any advice for new artists? "Above all draw what you want. That may seem like quite corny advice but I know it’s not easy to draw while being watched by others, so draw what you really want to express, draw what your imagination brings you, draw everything and anything, our delusions, our desires, our ideas... The important thing is to draw primarily what makes us happy." This is very good advice. That's why I only drew swastikas and tits.

OK, that’ll do for now. Thanks Elise/Bramblelady for participation and patience, because I'm annoying with all my requests for corrections, and I must also thank my parents, my agent, my lawyers, Cole Porter for the songs… Next week we’ll be welcoming a blind Moroccan artist who paints with his toe. Perhaps. I leave you with a damn good song and cat cuddles, because it's the weekend! Hugs.

And how about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated VDM? Send us an email on [email protected] not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

#1554 - Illustrated FML - On 11/12/2015 at 8:57am by Alan - 3 comments

S-Kro's illustrated FML

Hello again you old so and sos, you old muckedy mucks. D’you all put your woolly hats on to go to the drugstore to buy bags of vitamin C this week? Yes, it’s getting ugly out there. The weather is ripe for colds, which in turns us all into bitching biatches. We all want to give up work, and instead settle on a sofa with a snoring cat and watch all the TV shows that are filled with beautiful and brilliant people who never get sick and have super interesting lives, unlike our own. As it happens, this week we’re looking at the mundane things in life, events and gadgets of everyday occurrences, and how they work. Intrigued by the formation of clouds? Here's the place to be.


"No one can come near my eyes with a pointy object or their fingers, it is not not a good idea! My last ophthalmologist still remembers me."

Self-portrait S-Kro by S-Kro

This week is the start of a long love story, or friendship. We still not sure which. This is a new series we’re trying out with S-Kro, who explains all things scientific in an easy to understand way.

His info:
Age: "35 according to my arteries, 17 according to my maturity."
Location: Internet
Website : His blog and his Facebook page
His illustrated FML: The one with the flash

We do not know S-Kro’s real name. I think it's a pun, but I'm not sure. I ran into him during a conversation on Facebook, and I offered him to come and do something for us on FML and he agreed. He not only accepted, but he has also done several excellent illustrations, which we will progressively post these coming months! All have a common thread: the scientific explanation of the world around us, and in our case, an application to the stories contained on VDM. The idea is launched with an explanation of speed cameras and the way they work, which is so annoying for distracted or reckless motorists drivers. Yes, you know who you are. We've all been there. They speed is limited to 50 but without paying attention, we’ve ended up doing 110, the windows wide open, playing hardcore techno... Or is that just me?

Who is behind this nickname then, and what does he do? "Analyse things to solve stuff and give advice that in the end no one will pay any attention to.” I don’t know why, I immediately had in mind the image of a hamster on its wheel, constantly turning, going nowhere… And what does he need in life? “Drawing classes, but people will have quickly noticed that.” Erm, no, not particularly. Too modest, mate!

What do you enjoy in all of this? "In drawing, the feeling of creating stories and worlds is quite exhilarating, the sensation of leaving a trace at the bottom of humanity’s underpants. The creative process, which some psychoanalysts think allows us to fight against the anxiety of human beings confronting death and... well... it’s getting boring now, isn’t it?" Oh no no, not at all!

Where did you go to school and learn all this stuff? "I did my schooling quietly, maybe a bit too quietly. I worked just enough to get to the next level. If I’d had teachers (maths and science in particular) that had given me a taste for science, I would’ve been working in different areas. Let’s just say that my comics and my research have helped me catch up for lost time." We really need people who are able to explain things as clearly, these comics are a public service!

What are your plans? “Getting my comics “Clever things explained by an idiot” published. I’m also taking part in the fanzines belonging to my buddies Pinworms, Reuketeupeuh, El Guapo or Egoscopic, it’s a good laugh.” This is a great idea, getting the comics published, they’re really good. I especially liked the one about the guy growing a beard and getting asked if he was a hipster or a terrorist or dirty or any of that bullshit that I had to put up with last year when I started growing a beard out of sheer boredom. I went through exactly the same thing. So thanks!

What are your inspirations, is there someone, an event or something that made you want to get into illustration? "From my great grandfather to my father, I have always seen people draw or paint, I don’t think it helps to have a normal life and it explains a lot." And do you have heroes in life? "In the sense of exemplary characters, I would say guys like Nikola Tesla, Richard Feynman or as Stephen Hawking, but he’s crap at basketball." Claaaaaassy!

Tell us what you love in life, your passions, your hobbies, your vices, your little pleasures of everyday life. "My hobby is drawing, reading boring stuff and less boring stuff, my friends, my sweetheart ... and farting in my bath." Ah, taking a bath. I miss that. I only have a shower at home. How lucky. Uh, well, yes, and how about your taste in music, books and comics, what you do you love right now? "If I had to keep a book, only one, it would be “A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. For comics, I read so much that it's hard to make a choice, especially since there's some of my friends in the comics, if I forget any of them, they’ll sulk." Yes, you’d better not then. But even so, let’s try to see if there are some artists whose blogs you check out regularly, just in case. So? "I don’t have time to visit blogs, there’s too many. But the artists who influenced me the most would be Maester and the late Coyote. I love Mo CDM, Eric Powell, Scott McFarlane too, to name but a few, the list would be very long otherwise."

A personal FML perhaps? "Once I was with a buddy and there was this girl I wanted to hook up with. I don’t know why but on TV there was a report about the lack of space in apartments when you’re in a wheelchair. I had this very drunken guy observation  and I said something like: "I don’t see what the problem is, if you fold them up with the chair, that won’t take up much space." She stood up and left the room and then I learned that her father was in a wheelchair..." My theory is that the way to test future-ex partners to see if it’ll work out is their potential to warm to our shitty sense of humour. She, sadly, didn’t make the cut. You didn’t miss out on anything.

And finally, do you have any advice for new artists? "Don’t do it, you poor unfortunate soul!”

Right, that will do for this week! Thanks S-Kro thanks for participating, and it’s a special thanks because it’s a long term affair. We’ll see him again in about a month with another illustration. I can’t tell you what week it will be, so it’ll be a surprise. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a startled cat and a cat being rubbed with a leek. See you next week!

How about you? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated VDM? Send us an email on [email protected], not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

#1553 - Illustrated FML - On 11/06/2015 at 5:23am by Alan - 0 comments