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Chiara's illustrated FML

Hi there, cool cats ! I'm glad to see you all again. Seeing you again means it's Friday; Friday is illustrated FML day (and it's also the weekend of course). It's not yet vacation time for everyone, so make the most of your weekend if you can, and the warm weather if you've got some, to do the things you like to do, with the people you like. Or tolerate. I'll be wandering the streets making obscene gestures at anything containing Minions, shouting at pigeons, and then ending up in front of the TV with a fan pointing at my naked body. Yes, I have weird pastimes. This week, we're searching for something, whether it's concrete (lost jewelry) or abstract (lost time). The illustrated FML that we've cooked up is somewhere in between the two, oscillating between the abstract and the concrete, a bit like Duchamp's urinal. Or something. Yeah OK, the heat is getting to me, let's just get on with it!

CHIARA'S ILLUSTRATED FML

"My biggest phobia is Gollum. I'm deathly scared of him. I couldn't bring myself to use his image from the movie, so I took a picture from a Tolkien book."

Self-portrait Chiara by Kumy-san

 


This week it's Chiara's turn to have a manga-themed go at an FML. It's a little less pronounced than in the last two illustrations, so I'm not going to go overboard about it. 

Her info:
Age: 15 
Location: Paris
Website: Her DeviantArt page
Her illustrated FML: The one with the ring


Wow, Chiara is pretty young! 15 years old! I almost feel like joking that I've got bunions on my feet that are older than she is. I won't make such a corny joke because it wouldn't be very respectful, seeing as she's got quite the talent. You just have to check out her DeviantArt page and the few illustrations that are scattered around this article to see that she's good at drawing things. She says that she "loves to draw, of course, but what I prefer is colour things in. Give drawings life with colours is really cool. I lack technical skills of course, you can see it in my drawings, ha ha." That's not how I would've put it. In any case, she's quite busy in everyday life, because she's still in school, but still finds time to improve her technique: "I go to high school and I spend time working on my story. I've recently started working on a short story which is about 20 pages long and I intend on illustrating it one day!" Great news, but it leaves us wondering what the story will be, what the intrigue is, and what it will look like. It sounds pretty much top secret, so we'll wait and see.

What's her recent news? "At the moment, I've been trying to find the time to draw but it's not been easy with my exams going on and all the other stuff. I like it when things are going at a high pace, so I'm not too bothered!" Ah, exams, a long forgotten memory. The only exams I get these days are medical ones, to check whether I should stop drinking or sleeping around (answer to both questions: No way). So what's Chiara's story? "I'm in high school, next year I'll be starting sixth form tech, then I'll be doing literary studies. My dream is to write childrens stories and illustrate them." Quite a nice dream. I had a dream in high school. It involved drinking and sleeping around. I guess I've succeeded on that count. I suppose I could've been one of those boring twunts who waffles on about calories and lifting weights. Sod that for a game of soldiers. Follow your dreams, that's what I do

Any projects cooking in that young brain of yours? "For the moment, I'm trying to grab hold of the box of cookies that my mother has put too high up for me too grab. My 5 foot 4 can be a problem sometimes. I'm kidding of course." Hey, that's an ambitious project that I can get behind, and so can our readers. I'm lucky enough to be really tall, so I often help out the less fortunate amongst you to get things from higher places, especially in supermarkets. Grannies love me. Speaking of which, we recently got a complaint on Facebook about an FML which contained the word "Midget", which was deemed "offensive", but we agreed to disagree after I used the "Doug Stanhope Defence" regarding words that people find offensive. Watch the clip. Anyway, where were we? "I'd love to finish my story (how many times have I mentioned it during this interview? I don't know), finish my education, carry on drawing!" We still don't know what the story is about. Maybe she could create an account on FML and come and tell us about it, a bit like the follow-ups. 

What made you want to draw? What inspires you? "A while back, I was in a community where people create animations on DS. I started creating my own animations, then I started drawing better. When the community closed down, I swore to carry on drawing. I was given a graphics tablet, and I was set." And what a good idea it was to keep going, you should never give up.

Are there any other artists whose DeviantArt accounts you check out now and again? "I love Yamio and Yennineii on Deviantart, I lie prostrate in front of their drawings, crying, "Argh, will I be able to draw like that one day?" Of course you will, there's no reason why not. Where there's a will, there's a way (well, that's my mindset when I think about my unrequited love for the girl who works in the bakery across from my building, who is still unaware of my feelings). 

What are your pleasures, pastimes and vices in life? "I like to draw, write, go out with my friends, play tennis, run, eat caramels (I always have some on me when I draw, even though I know drawing a lot means my waistline is going to suffer)." Nibbling while working is another modern day problem. People used to smoke while working (I'm not going to suggest that Chiara starts a 20 Benson and Hedges a day habit, that would probably be illegal), but banning smoking in workplaces has caused people to start eating candy, Twix, kebabs and cocaine. Oh, that's illegal too. 

Do you have a personal FML to tell us about? "Today, I got the scare of my life. I had an arts history exam, and one of the examinators' phones went off when I was talking. I was so frightened that I fell over. FML" Falling over, that's so Ally McBeal, and… oh yeah, that's a very '90s reference. Ask your parents.

To finish off the interview, can you give budding illustrators some advice? "Practice, obviously. And show your drawings to other people, because they often have a more objective opinion than we do about our work." And choose the other people wisely. Don't show your stuff to your cynical friends, for whom everything has to be viewed ironically. They have self-esteem issues, and will drag you down with them. Good luck! 

Right, turn off your TV and go and do! Thanks to Chiara for here illustrated FML. It's Friday, it's summer, let's put the dogs in the car, stick a great song on the radio and let's burn anything with Minions on it. There. Next week, it'll be something a bit different. It's a surprise, you'll see. Be excellent to each other!

What about you? If you think you've got talent and want to contribute to the illustrated FML, send us an email to contact@fmylife.com but only send us your blog's address and a few samples of your work. No need to create an illustrated FML straight away.

#1529 - Illustrated FML - On 07/17/2015 at 9:35am by Alan - 9 comments

Cécilia's illustrated FML

It's summer ! It's a heatwave ! I'm well aware of that fact because I almost fainted in the street the other day, and I had to hide in a supermarket and sit in the airconditioned neon glow and wait for the weirdness to subside. Last week we were sort of celebrating the Paris Japan Expo, and yes, I know, that's done and dusted, but we're keeping the spirit alive by having another Manga-themed illustration this week. However, this week I'm not dressed in a cosplay outfit, I've slipped back into something more comfortable. I've put a trucker's hat on, along with a t-shirt that says "Jesus is coming" above a Minion, so I can fit in with the 2000 American tourists in my neighbourhood. Erm, what was I saying? Yes, this week's illustration has its lines deeply drawn in the Manga camp. Right, let's check it out, cosplay or not. Oh, and remember to hydrate yourself if it's hot. Chop chop.

CÉCILIA'S ILLUSTRATED FML

"I've already drawn on sheets of toilet paper or on my thighs in the bathroom to pass the time."

Self portrait Cecifolle by Cécilia

 


As I've said, this week we're staying Manga with Cécilia. And it rhymes, sort of. She also goes by the nickname Cecifolle, which roughly translates as Cecicrazy, but Cécilia is better for the purposes of this article. 

Her info:
Age: 24
Location: La Garde, France
WebsiteCecifolle
Her illustrated FML: The one with the sports bag


As you can see, Cécilia really is Manga. As we did last week, we're staying for a bit longer in the Japan Expo theme, which took place in Paris at the time. We could've shown both illustrations at the time, but like precious metals or really sweet candy, you have to consume them in small doses because what's rare is expensive. Or something like that. Cécilia is on the road to educating, or more precisely, "I'm preparing the exam to become a nursery school teacher, even though I have some trouble with spelling…" Yep, that's going to be a bit of a problem. You can't be a teacher if you write school with a K. I'd better do a proper spellcheck on this article now I've written that. If you see any odd spellings, don't hesitate to tell me. It does happen to me a lot, I know. 

She likes to draw: "What I like is to provoke an emotion in other people, and give my drawings life with a few lines, which is why I like to sketch. What I'd like is a bit more self confidence so that I could create my own little world and then show it to other people." Saying a "few lines" shows a lack of self confidence, because she already draws pretty well from where I'm sitting, you just have to check out the few examples on this blog page. 

As for her news, it's obviously all about the kids. "For the moment, I draw for my own personal pleasure, but I'd like to make albums for children, as a sideline to my career as a teacher, but with more of an occidental style than a Japanese one I guess. My heart is torn between the two. I'd also like to create my own mangas, well, I've got a small project on the go which will short see the light of day on my blog, as soon as I've reached the right drawing standard." It's true that we'd like to see what she'd be capable of producing in a more "traditional" style, outside of the Manga style. Maybe she could come back at a later date and create another illustrated FML to show us what she can do? 

Where did you go to school? "I went to school from nursery school to high school in my hometone La Gare. I then went to Nice to study Psychology. I blew my mind. Once I got my third year diploma, I went to the ESPE (education school) to learn how to teach." Small world. I studied Psychology too, I got to the fourth year then got a job as a… sound designer. It can get you anywhere. And I know Nice a bit, too. I'm going back at the end of the month to… Erm, I'm not going to tell you my life story, we're here to talk about Cécilia, but I will say that it'll be the Guacamole festival. 

What or whom made you want to draw? What inspires you? "My grand-father, at first, who was a Disney fan. He always showed me his drawings and taught me to draw with circles. In middle school, I didn't know the internet or Mangas and all that, but I was given my first Manga DVD box set and I met some friends who were really into that sort of stuff. It was then in high school that I really got interested when I met a girl who had a lot of talent, she really motivated me, and I followed in her footsteps. I created a blog, she showed me the graphics tablet and it was a revelation. It was only by the end of my Psychology diploma, two years ago, that I started to draw seriously so I could make progress."

Besides the talented girl, are there any other artists that you check out? "Her artist name is Hadh. Otherwish, there's Nadou, Maliki and Mi eau. There are so many." 

What are your pleasures in life? "I love animals, I'm crazy about them, I should've been a vet… But other than that, I love doing nothing, being at home, drawing, watching TV shows… I don't really like going out. Maybe because I'm still a student, paradoxically I like playing life simulation games where you have to do lots of things, like administrate a farm (Harvest Moon). I don't really have a passion because I like everything: cooking, piano, TV shows, movies, but I consider them to be hobbies. I think I'm going to make my job as a teacher my passion." 

Do you have a personal FML to share with everyone? "Off the top of my head : Today, I've entered for the first time into my new apartment to take some measurements. I've gone out onto the balcony, closing the door behind me, but the bay door clicks shut. It's locked, it's January, my phone and my jacket are inside, I'm on the 4th floor. I'm cold. FML". Well done, the whole team agrees, you deserved it.

To finish off, can you give some words of advice to anyone starting off in illustrations and drawing? "Draw what you love." That's pretty succinct, but it's quite good advice. I've tried to teach friends how to play the guitar, and it's pretty much what I tell them to do. It can be quite pointless trying to learn songs they don't really know or like, the easiest thing to do is stick on a song they love and try and pick up the chords or parts of the song by ear. If they can do that, they're halfway there. I'm guessing that drawing works the same way. If you start by trying to copy the drawings you love, and you'll get there eventually. I should try it too!

That'll be it for now! Thank you Cécilia for taking part in. I don't think I've left any spelling mistakes, and if there are, it's your fault for being a terrible teacher! This weekend it's a train journey down the south of France for me, I'm going to see some friends and hang out. Next week we'll be getting another illustration, and the week after that will be a surprise! You'll see. Have a very funny Vine, and be excellent to each other until next week. We'll let Cécilia have the last word. Take care. 

What about you? If you think you've got talent and want to contribute to the illustrated FML, send us an email to contact@fmylife.com but only send us your blog's address and a few samples of your work. No need to create an illustrated FML straight away.

#1528 - Illustrated FML - On 07/10/2015 at 8:22am by Alan - 9 comments

Angie's illustrated FML

Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the standard sharpness. So, as you've guessed, we're all about mangas this week. We're striking a pose, we're all anime and we're forgetting all about the heat wave by going on a cosplay spree, which doesn't make you feel the heat AT ALL. I'm guessing that a few people are going to get heat stroke during the exhibition, so friends, remember to rehydrate as much as possible. Let's start this week's interview!

ANGIE'S ILLUSTRATED FML

"Watashi wa Ange Desu. Hajimemashite! For those of you who don't speak the language of the land of the rising sun, I'm Ange, enchanted!"

Self portrait Ange par Angie

 


We've got a case of split personalities this week. "I'm known on the internet as Ange de Cristal (Crystal Angel) or Ange Krystaleen (your guess is as good as mine), but my friends call me Angie. It's shorter, you see. Why this nickname? Simply because I believe in Guardian Angels. Yep, I like that sort of thing, and it's working out alright for me. As for the Cristal bit, it's because I like precious stones, and my aim at the time was to have a drawing style with colours that looked like shiny crystals, etc. Today, 10 years later, I'm told that it's pretty successful, and that my nickname suits my illustrations! So I'm happy. "Ange Krystaleen" has become the name of a character I've created to represent me on the internet, and that I like to play on role-playing games forums." OK, I get it. I'm going to stick to Angie for the rest of the article.

Her info:
Age: "52, but you have to invert the numbers otherwise it doesn't correspond to my date of birth."
Location: "Château d'Olonne, France. A short walk from the beach. I can feel your jealousy!"
Website: Her Facebook page and her DeviantArt page
Her illustrated FML: The one with the kimono


Angie is as you can tell, quite manga. Her illustration style is quite obviously influenced by the whole genre. She IS the whole genre, and since in Paris we've got the Japan Expo going on at the moment, it's perfect timing. It's almost like it was planned. Anyway, Angie doesn't seem to want to live the way the rest of us do: "No, I don't want to find a real "job" (like some people like to say to artists, the same people who don't know that an illustration isn't something you throw together in a couple of minutes, computer or not) if it's to scowl when I get up in the morning." I think we all dream of this sort of utopia, but... you need to money to live and buy useless crap and deodorant. I didn't ask where she got her money from. "I don't have any wild ambitions, I like drawing for people, there's a lot less pressure, and being in contact with them is a lot more cordial. So my income is quite variable and quite low, but... at least I put all my heart into it, my job is stress free, people like the results and my clients call back!" That's cool, it's a bit like us here at FML!  

What is it that you enjoy about what you do? What do you need ? "I like everything. When I draw, I get to escape. Some people need drugs to do so, I just need my drawing tablet, or a pencil and paper. It clears my mind. And it allows me to organise myself the way I want to. If I want to get out of bed at 10 am, I can. If I want to draw until 2 am, I can. If I want to watch Hentai, I... Erm, no, forget about that one. What I need? Not much really. As long as I can draw and that I've got my PC, internet access and my tablet, no need for anything else! (And thanks to my parents for supporting me, for understanding my passion and encouraging me)." I think that my parents would have booted me around the garden if I'd asked them to support my drawing career, but then again, I'm shit at drawing. 

No news for Angie, nothing seems to be going on. Oh, maybe one thing. "I ate an apple at lunchtime." But as for projects, things have been stirring, sort of. "If you'd have asked me two months, I would've answered that with a friend we tried to propose a text-based role playing website for high schools to use to help kids to learn french all while having fun. It was tested successfully in my old high school, teachers and students liked it. But once presented on the internet, it wasn't so popular. So now the idea is on stand bye, but we'll try it again in few years. So my current projects are just to make a living from my drawings." So, there you have it, if you need some special manga drawings done, contact Angie. 

What's your story schoolwise? "I did training over several diplomas to set up canine and feline kennels, because I wanted to start breeding huskies. These days I've got a husky, but breeding them is a long forgotten dream, thrown into a dumpster. Big problems, unexpected problems, so goodbye project." Raising huskies? Sounds like the start of a movie where a demented cousin starts a weird business and ruins the family reputation.

What made you want to draw, who inspired you? "I've been drawing since I was a child, with a great attraction for it, so nothing special really drew me towards it, it comes naturally. The manga style imposed itself when I was 10. I discovered Pokemon, and Japanese culture. I was off! I immediately caught on to the expressive faces of the characters, and the originality of the stories. And I grew up with it, with Cat's Eyes (I watched that when I was 6 or 7 but I didn't know it was Japanese at the time, it was my favourite cartoon), Pokemon, Sakura, Yu-Gi-Oh and others that were on TV at the time when I was a kid. Then when the internet arrived in my house when I was 15 made me want to share my drawings and thus progress by being inspired by other amateur artists, especially on Zelda fan art, and these artists are now friends. Then, during a difficult time of my life, that there was a way to make money out of it and nice people to meet via the web. So I began buckling down. Ten years later, I have no regrets." 

Speaking of other artists, whose work do you check out? "I follow people's work on Deviant Art. My favourites are Emperpep, an Indonesian artist who creates crazy watercolours, Bombay Piko, who is also Indonesian, qui makes beautiful drawings with crayons. In France there's Krystal, now known under the name Nacrym, who is the artist who REALLY inspired me in the beginning ! And to finish off, a real good friend of mine who has a manga style that I really love.

What are your pleasures or vices in life? "Besides drawing, talking with my friends, I take part in a lot of role playing games that take place on a forum via text and I really want to be able to expose my work in a convention, like Japan Expo and others because I really have fun doing so, I've already tested it by encroaching on the Fanzine Némesis stall (of which Alyciane and Nacrym are members). My little pleasures: candy and melted cheese. My vices: I don't have any, of course, I'm too perf... What? Oh, I shouldn't mention that?" 


Have you got a personal FML to share? "Today, I was sat on the toilet and I was thinking about the photo of a spider in the middle of a toilet roll that I saw on the internet. What are the odds that a nice specimen would also be inside my toilet roll and would fall onto my leg as I was trying to wipe? 0%? I thought so too. FML" Spiders are a classic source of FMLs.

To finish off, do you have any advice for budding artists? "Above all else, draw FOR YOURSELF. What you like, that inspires you. The best results are there. Practise as much as possible, there's no secret. Never give up, despite your level or bad criticism. Always try out new things and observe the drawings of the people you admire. Believe in yourself and your capabilities, stay motivated. Accept also that it's going to be tough if you want to do it full time. It'll work out, over time! And if you don't believe me, check out this video of my progress." Impressive stuff.

That's it for this week! Thanks Angie for your drawings and your talent, it's a good to have different styles on FML. It's now time to put on our bathing suits and to go and take a cold shower to get through the heat wave that is knocking our brains into submission. If it's cold where you are, well, use your imagination. This weekend I'm going to site in caves and listen to SunnO))) records, it's the only way to avoid the heat. See you next week !

What about you? If you think you've got talent and want to contribute to the illustrated FML, send us an email to contact@fmylife.com but only send us your blog's address and a few samples of your work. No need to create an illustrated FML straight away.

#1527 - Illustrated FML - On 07/03/2015 at 5:57am by Alan - 9 comments

Tania's illustrated FML

Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused Courtney Love to get stuck in the crossfire, resulting in some amusing tweets. To say that the taxi drivers are mental is an understatement. They've been kidnapping Uber drivers in broad daylight, filming themselves while doing it, because they reckon that Uber Pop is illegal. But kidnapping isn't, huh? Anyway, a lot of shitty things have been going down, but we'd rather be aware of what's been going down and not be like some commenters on FML and refuse to keep in touch with the world around them, avoiding newspapers and news outlets in general, because, "It's too depressing". These people vote. Scary. Anyway, to lighten the mood, this week's illustration is about cakes and babies. Intrigued? Read on.

TANIA'S ILLUSTRATED FML

"My phobia? Those toilets you have to squat over, and squids. If a squid comes out of the hole, it's twice the points."

Self-portrait Tania par Tania

 


Tania isn't a nickname. She says that she "gave nicknames up the day that MSN died." I can understand that. I underwent the same process a few years before, when I stopped driving around with a CB in my car. For the younger readers, I mean a Citizen Band radio, which allowed people to talk to each other, mostly truckers. We all had stupid nicknames, like Smokey and the Bandit. But not anymore.

Her info:
Age: 26 
Location: Lyon, France
Website : La minute papillon
Her illustrated FML: The one with the cake


Tania had sent us a very nice message via a carrier pigeon. OK, she actually sent us a nice e-mail, but we do hope that someday, we will receive a message via carrier pigeon, or via smoke signals. Erm, maybe not smoke signals, because an illustration sent via smoke signals would probably be way too experimental for our tastes. I digress. Tania's works and sense or humour were so in step with our tastes that we said yes straight away. Sometimes, it's really easy to say yes to an illustrator's offer, when all the conditions are obviously reunited in a way that we know that the artwork will be good. We want more like it, send us your stuff! So, what does Tania do then? "I'm a web writer for an agency that specialises in SEO. My parents think I work for Google. Maybe that's what I told them to avoid a long, fruitless, 4-hour conversation. It used to be music that widened the generation gap, but I get the impression that IT jobs are doing the same sort of thing nowadays. My old man can make an Airbus A320 work, from A to Z, but he's flummoxed by a 4-in-1 remote control, and gets me to program it for him. Or he's just lazy and doesn't want to learn new stuff since he's retired.

What do you enjoy in your line of work? "I like the constant variety. In one day I can just as well write about the legends of Brittany than about the oil crisis. That, along with the friendly colleagues with the crap sense of humour and the free coffee make my days pretty fun. As for illustration, I like being able to give life to anything that pops into my head. A TV show host disguised as a pineapple, a surfing stool, everything can exist. And, in all modesty, what I also love, is making my friends laugh, even though they suspect me of taking drugs." Creative people are often suspected of taking all sorts of things, but it's often justified. I should know.  

As for projects and news, there's not much going on. "Absolutely no news, but sometimes I post articles on my blog. However, be around in 2050, something heavy is going to be unleashed." As for her projects? "Pokemon Master." OK. Sounds realistic. 

What did you do at school and stuff? "I got a high school diploma with a literature specialisation, with a good grade, which made my mother happy. I then looked for something easy to do, which required the least effort, so I ended up doing English studies, all while working at McDonald's for 2 years to finance my student parties and my driver's licence. I found my calling doing a journalism masters, which open the doors to local press and the fishing contests all around my area. After a few months in a newsroom, I set up camp in a web agency in Lyon where I'm enjoying life." 

What made you want to draw? What inspires you "I've always scribbled, but the works of Zep inspire me, and I really like what he does, his hyper-expressive characters and his attention to detail. Other than that, in my health report, when I was 3, the paediatrician wrote "excellent graphics". I probably drew the best square and circle of his career, but still, I guess it directly influenced my vocation."
 

What are your pleasures and/or vices? "Dinosaurs (except Stegosaurus, they're losers), driving alone at night, licking the covers of apple sauce pots, losing my phone and finding it in the fridge, going to Brussels, a place I fell in love with during a 4-month internship, drinking coffee until the point of no return where I start to hear colours, folk music, season 3 to 16 of The Simpsons."

Do you have a personal FML to share? "Today, feeling amiable, I clear the table, and take away a pile of glasses. Result: 2 hours in the ER and 4 stitches in my left ring finger. FML. The legendary clumsiness of left-handed people is mainly due to me, without wanting to brag." Left-handed people are weird. I've always said so. Sorry, I'm a right-handed bigot.

To finish the article, can you give some advice to anyone starting out in illustration? "I don't think of myself as an illustration pro, but if I had one piece of advice to give, it would be 'Keep going as long as you are enjoying yourself, and if you have a cat, please be away that the felt-tip pens that have mysteriously disappeared are probably under the fridge. Or in its litter tray.'" As a cat owner, I can only vouch for that piece of advice.

Right, that'll do for this week. JI want to thank Tania for her illustration, her kindness and her sense of humour. This is all very important. Oh, and her reactivity. I'm not saying that these are rare qualities amongst our guests, but I like it when a plan comes together. Well anyway, it's Friday, time to relax, put on a Tindersticks song, take the cats for a walk and have a few beers. As always, be excellent to each other and see you next week. 

What about you? If you think you've got talent and want to contribute to the illustrated FML, send us an email to contact@fmylife.com but only send us your blog's address and a few samples of your work. No need to create an illustrated FML straight away.

#1526 - Illustrated FML - On 06/26/2015 at 6:25am by Alan - 8 comments

The Best of the Worst #15

We hadn't forgotten! You can stop sending your e-mails asking when we were going to post the Best of the Worst article, it's finally here. It's the June edition, and it's #15 of our compilation of weird and wonderful submissions. Time to have another good laugh at the people who seem to have a tenuous grasp of reality. Here we go!

For the few newbies who have no idea what the concept is: we get sent thousands of FMLs every day. We only publish a handful because most are shite. Well, to be fair, most are mediocre, but then there are those which are batshit insane. This is a collection of some of the best of the shittiest FMLs that people have actually sent in via the submit-your-FML box. People actually wrote these. No, really, they really did. Check them out.
 

Turned on cubist 

Today, i thought it was cool that i had procrastinated from doing my english project the previous day. I thought about it and then I realized how dumb it was that for my prorastinating, I was solving a rubix cube for 3 hours and masturbating with bubble wrap. FML.

Wheelchair blues

This morning i woke up and realized… I am Stephen Hawking… FML Who does Christopher Reeves wish he could be? Christopher Walkin!
 

Lost

Today I finally reached some sort of island. I have my cellphone and a granola bar. FML.
 

House

my phsyciatrist for 5 years gave me vicadin hen gave up on me i was 6 years old
 

Love is…

Today I got dumped for another guy that she youst to like she was just using me to make him jelious FML
 

Sensitivity

Today, I saw a person a few feet ahead of me I assumed was dressed in the Chick-fil-A cow costume. Trying to be funny, I yelled several times, “EAT MORE CHICKEN!” Then, the costumed cow turned around. Turns out it wasn’t the Chick-fil-A cow at all, but a muslim woman dressed in a spotted burka. FML
 

James H.

Today, the lead singer from metalica gave me an autograph the when i left the cosert i got juped by 5 guys no my arm is broken possibly a cuncusion and i have no autotograph. Fuck my life!!!!!!!!
 

Keep on truckin'

I went on a date with this girl who I seriously thaught was the one. Before we left a resturaunt I went to the b-room and gave her the keys to my car. When I came out I saw her deeply making out with this fat trucker! Tonge and everything! ON THE HOOD OF MY CAR! I set off my car alarm and wentinside
 

Butt bomb

Today I shoved a fire cracker up my anus…. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to pretend to lite it…. He did…. Now i’m in the hospital wit a blown up ass
 

Bageled


TODAY I WAS AT WORK AND I WAS EATING A BAGEL WITH COFFEE. WHEN A HOT CHICK WALKED IN THEN ROOM. I SPILLED MY COFFEE ALL OVER MY PUBIC AREA AND DROPPED MY BAGEL ON MY SHOE. THEN I SCREAMED OH S***, AND I REALIZED THAT THE HOT CHICK WAS MY BOSS. FML

That's it for June. We'll be back next month with a some more of these, because there's quite a few of them in stock. If you enjoyed them, you can probably see others by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these are all collected from the website since its launch, so don't bother trying to send in daft FMLs to try and get them published here, it won't work. See you !

 

Bonus track: People take not being published very seriously, like this person did. Subsequently, we get sent this sort of thing.

Not the knees

This site sucks. I came up with way better stuff, than the junk posted here. But mine wasn’t published. To the jerks who hit “No”, I hope you scrape your knees.

#1525 - About FMyLife - On 06/24/2015 at 4:06am by Alan - 74 comments