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Illustrated FML (273) - About FMyLife (38) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (14) - Books (9) - Competitions (6) - Special guests (6)

Crimson Sun's Illustrated FML

Hello everybody! Thanks to the amazing Julien, we've had wonderful artists for the few last weeks. Today, we're not going French though. We're going to the amazing (and weird) country named Australia to discover Crimson Sun, an artist you may already know thanks to her amazing fan-arts (including Avengers, Sherlock, etc.). Let's get the chance to know her, shall we!

 

 

-What is your name, surname and nickname? 
-I have this grandiose vision that one day, I'll become wildly famous and successful under both my pen name and my real name, at which point I'll publicly tie the two together and bask in the due glory which would no doubt result. Since that hasn't happened yet, you can know me as my pen name - Crimson Sun - which I made up for online use about twelve years ago and now can't for the life of me remember why. Friends call me Crim!


-How old are you?
-Quarter century!

 

-Where do you live?
-Melbourne, Australia.

 

-What's your job?
-I'm a veterinarian.

 

-What's your journey?
-The choice after high school was between art and science, though art never really had a fair go. This is mostly because -
a) as a kid, I used to sit outside my neighbour's house for hours, petting their dog, and a life working with animals just sounded like the best thing ever;
b) I thought the medical/veterinary skill set would be more useful to me in the impending zombie apocalypse;
c) there was a voice in my head (still present, which I may one day need to take meds for) driving me toward a life of academia, surgical instruments, and bitter loneliness; and
d) I knew myself well enough to know I lacked the creativity and motivation to be a truly successful artist. That doesn't mean I've ever stopped or will ever stop drawing, though! I'm currently working for an extremely capable and compassionate boss, and the plan for the next few years is just to learn as much as possible and help the practice expand. One day I hope to produce a comic based on my veterinary experiences, which would be the ultimate combination of both my passions.

 

-What are your inspirations?
-I started drawing to imitate the popular anime/manga series of the nineties - y'know, Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Evangelion, etc - and though I haven't watched an anime series for ages, I don't think that early influence would ever leave my work. I'm really into Marvel at the moment, and there are innumerable online artists I admire and draw inspiration from. Gotta love that internet!

 

-Do you read webcomics? If so, which ones?
-Too many to name them all! The ones that immediately jump to mind are Nedroid Comics and Romantically Apocalyptic. 

 

 

-Tell us more about your Tumblr?
-I started a tumbleblog about two years ago because all the cool kids were doing it, and 'cause being on Tumblr was infinitely more interesting than studying for final exams. It remains a lovely form of procrastination to this day.

 

-How do you work?
-Frantically, and alone.

 

-Why did you choose this FML story?
-Mostly because the 'dude looks like a lady' gag is old and I wanted to liven it up a little. Also because I resent the notion that every encounter with a beautiful stranger has to result in romantic conquest. Why can't we just aim to make friends? What's wrong with purely platonic relationships? Why is our society so obsessed with dating? What do you mean I sound like a jaded singleton? ...What was the question again?

 

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FML

 


Crimson's Tumblrhttp://crimson-sun.tumblr.com/

 

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1425 - Illustrated FML - On 12/20/2013 at 2:11pm by Alice - 15 comments

Become someone's Santa

UPDATE : We made it! You made it! Our target has been reached! Well done all of you. Let's all pat ourselves on the back on this joyous occasion. The fact that it happened more or less on Christmas is a Christmas miracle. Who ever said that only bad things happen on FML? Think again, come in error friends! We give and we give and ask for not a lot in return. Well, we wouldn't mind a nice box of chocolates now and then, maybe some ham? But for now, we've got three gifts to send to our lucky FML members. If that's not a clear indication of what being part of the FML family means, well, the signals are pretty clear, open your eyes. Anyway, we wish you all a merry Christmas, and hope that all goes well. Until next time, be excellent to each other!

--------

The holiday season is well under way, what with Thanksgiving being over, and turkeys now being able to relax for a bit. People have given themselves pastings over Black Friday, the media invented whatever Cyber Monday was supposed to be to have something to talk about and we had a nice Regular Tuesday having a bath and listening to some pan-pipes music to relax.

The holiday season is not just fun and games and diabetes though. It’s a time to think about our friends, families and those who are less fortunate than us. Here at FML, we may come across as a cynical bunch of hoodlums, but we’re not. We strive for excellence, and we wear our hearts on our sleeves. (Not literally, that wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone). We’ve had our share of unfortunate stories on our shores. People have come and gone; they’ve told us their tales of woe. They’ve made us laugh with their lack of skills when it comes to success in the real world.

FML Headquarters, Yesterday

FML Headquarters, yesterday

This year, we’ve decided to give back to those poor souls who were brave enough to reach out into the dark void that is the Internet, and help them out. No, we’re not going to give them money, or a trip to go fart in a space dome. No, it’s better than that. We’re going to give them… the FML treatment! OK, when we put it like that, it sounds a bit creepy, but it’s not, honest! Here’s the idea:

We’ve selected 3 FMLs from the “Follow-up” category. In case you don’t know, this category is where the person who posted the story actually came back to comment on it, and gave some indications to how things turned out afterwards. The fact that they’ve commented on the stories means that we can contact them, and reward them with something to make up for the hardship they endured. But we can’t give out prizes willy-nilly, we’re not a massive charity with tons of cash to spend on everyone. This is where you come in. We're going to put the 3 stories up for vote, and you get to decide whether or not they deserve to be compensated or not. Then, once the numbers are in, we, like some sort of confused, bumbling Santa with less dress sense, get in touch with the winners, send them their prize and announce it all on the website/app with much gusto and maybe some piss-weak beer and some stale chips for everyone.

An FML moderator in full flight, 9am

How does it work? We've arbitrarily set some cut-off points for each story, which correspond to amounts of visits for this page. If the target is met for each one, we will go ahead with our proposals.

So, what are the stories, and what will they be getting? Here they are:

   Our first story is about a budding artist and his medium choice:

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to "paint mama a picture." FML - by ashsaunde

The user then told us by commenting on their FML: "Yes he was finger painting with it as well as wiping his butt on everything in his room. We're in the middle of potty training so he thought he was helping by cleaning himself off."

To compensate for this mess, if this page hits 30,000 views, we'll give them something to make up for it. What is it? Well, just check back as often as possible, and the box below will reveal itself as this page gets more and more hits.
 

Page hits : 114960
 

The first Xmas gift is a paint set for the kid to express himself artistically, as well as a kid-sized cleaning utensils so that if anything gets messy again, he can damn well clean it up himself!

 

   Our second story, is a story about school lunches, passing out and lasagna:

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML - by _sempiternus 

The user sempiternus then went on to comment on their FML by saying: "Thank you all for the wishes of recovery! Besides my bruised ego, I am perfectly well."

What do we want to do for them? If this page hits 60,000 views, we thought that we'd... well no, you'll have to wait to find out. Same as the previous entry, check the box below for the slow reveal!

As you may have worked out, the second gift is a meal for two at an Italian restaurant so that some proper lasagna can be had, to make up for the (probably terrible) canteen ones that were missed out on!

 

  Our last Xmas miracle is about grandmothers and pictures:

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML - by saraitkddh 

saraitkddh told us afterwards: "She has more than one picture of me but she just put them inside the drawer. She always ask my cousins for pictures of them, and my mom once offered her to give her new pictures of me but she ignored her."

This is the big one. What can we do? Well, same again, with your help and 90,000 hits on this page, maybe we can bring some festive cheer into someone's life. The gift will appear in the box below as time, and clicks, go on. So get on with it, and spread some holiday cheer!

As you can see, the third prize is an electronic picture frame. Something high-tech is always nice to fiddle with at Christmas, and this way, our prizewinner can either keep it home to put their own selection of pictures in, or fill it with pictures of herself and plant it in Grandma's house! 

This is the obligatory end bit. To end this festive blog article, here's a link to Wham's "Last Christmas", AKA "The Best Christmas Song EVER".  So now get clicking on this page, and maybe next year it’ll be you!

#1422 - Competitions - On 12/17/2013 at 9:45am by FML - 45 comments

Sophie's Illustrated FML

Hey there everyone! At the time of writing it’s Friday the 13th. Which means that by the time you read this, I might have had my head sliced off by an escaped mental patient wearing a hockey mask, or I might’ve been shoved into a huge blender by an escaped mental patient wearing a hockey mask, or I might actually be a mental patient wearing a hockey mask, and that’s me knocking at your door with a meat cleaver for a hand.

Anyway, before any of that happens, it’s time to present this week’s artist. She’s called Sophie, and she’s from France. She has a blog, a portfolio but doesn’t have a Twitter account because she claims she “has a life”. She’s been 25 for the past 11 years.

So, what’s she up to? “Freelance illustrator for only the past two years. Before that I was a project manager for a city council, so not at all the same thing. But it wasn’t much fun, I wanted to have a laugh during the day and I didn’t want to have to wake up at 6:30am or take public transportation. So I said to myself, drawing, that’s a cool thing to do, you can live where you want, work whenever you want… So now I get to sleep late and I’m starving. But it’s good for my figure.”

She says that particularly likes working from home in the winter, when everyone else has to go out in the cold, under the rain. She giggles in front of her computer while thinking about them, the crazy witch. She enjoys the freedom the work brings, and the fact that drawing is fun. She’s her own boss, has to obey to no one, but her bank won’t lend her any money anymore, she can’t go shopping much, doesn’t eat much, talks to herself and thinks she’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. And she also thinks she’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Oh, we said that already. Sorry. Anyway, she says she regrets nothing.

At the moment she’s working on small personal projects: two kids books and two comic books. “I have advertising contracts here and there and little comic strips in a teen magazine.” But for now she has to “find her Christmas tree, find a significant other, start a family and save the world!”

What’s her educational career? “I wanted to be like Indiana Jones when I was little. So I studied law. Can’t you see the similarities? Me neither. But you learn from your mistakes I’m told. I managed to get my masters degree in environmental law in England where I spent over a year and a half. Being a student in England is great, I’d recommend it. Then I studied archeology in Paris, which was closer to my goal but there where no jobs going and it’s nothing like being Indiana Jones. I wanted to find the Holy Grail and become immortal. So while I was waiting around, I started doodling. So I’m self taught. My father was an illustrator, so I did have a bit of a background, having been to a lot of book fairs and comic book festivals during the first 15 years of my life. Oh, and I spent almost 3 years in Italy, so I speak a bit of Italian, but not a lot because where I was, we spoke mainly English. Shame."

Yep, that’s a shame alright! Anyway, on to the next part of the interview! The Q&A part. Here we go:

Cats or dogs?

Dogs! They smell bad, lose their hair, they dribble but they’re the only thing in the world that would give it’s life for you.

What are the latest things you enjoyed at the movies, in music, books and comic books?

I really live Alabama Monroe at the movies, it’s a beautiful movie and the soundtrack is great too. I have to go and see Gravity. Books: I have just started It by Stephen King and I’ve been advised to keep some space free in my freezer to shut the book in. Should I be worried? As for comics, I haven’t read much recently. That’s a bad thing, I should go to stores more often.

Who are the main artists you enjoy and whose blogs you check out regularly?

There’s too many to list here. There is an incomplete list on my blog. And there’s a lot of artists that I love who don’t have a blog.

Tell us about what you enjoy in life, your passions, your pastimes, your vices, your everyday pleasures.

I’m going to be original: drawing. Other than that, cooking, dancing, movies, swimming, chocolate and cheese (not at the same time), books, chocolate, traveling, cheese, meals with friends, alcohol, marshmallows, sex, chocolate (at the same time or not), rock music, cheese, opera. Wait, I’m sure I’m forgetting something important, ah yes, chocolate and cheese!

Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it?

I’m afraid of spiders. But I quite like Spider-Man.

To finish off this interview, ask yourself a question you would’ve liked to have been asked and then choose to answer it or not.

-Would you like me to give you 60 million Euros? (because a million seems cheap)

-Yes please, that’s very kind!

 

There we go. She was nice. How could you not like someone who lists cheese, chocolate and sex as her favorite hobbies? Those are FMLs favourite things too. Well, that’s it for this week. We’re still on the run up to Christmas, but it’s not yet Christmas, but it’s just like Christmas with all the decorations clawing at our eyeballs from every angle, so here’s what should be on heavy rotation on every radio station around the world, Low’s “Just Like Christmas”. See you next week!

 

And to see Sophie Ruffieux's Illustrated FML, click here.

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1423 - Illustrated FML - On 12/13/2013 at 10:26am by FMyLife - 5 comments

Moino's Illustrated FML

Hi everyone, how’s it hanging? Feeling good? Oh. Too bad. This week it’s all about cats, hamsters and death. Yep, the big three, the main tenets of some religions and the bases of some delicious recipes. Anyway, the artist behind our illustration this week comes all the way from Switzerland, which most people know as the country that contains the large Hadron collider and chocolate. As most American high-school kids will know, it’s near Australia, just left of the North Pole.

Now we also know it contains an illustrator called Fanchon Raposo, AKA Moino, whose blog is called Sirop de Moineau. She’s 22 and claims she lives in a town a bit like the one in Smallville, “without the plaid shirts and cornfields.”

So, what does she spend her days doing? “I take care of 3 cats and a possum, 7 days a week, and when I’m not cleaning out their paws, I’m an independent illustrator who manages her burn-outs (I work at night a lot, but it doesn’t stop me from perform… wait, what were talking about?)”. She says that she likes being independent and being able to create infinite stuff from out of her deranged and fertile imagination, and that her job is also her passion, in which she’s progressing all the time. “I do miss all my illustrator friends that I met over the past months, who live over 500km from where I live, I’d love to be able to exchange experiences and advice with them, because where I live, the sheep don’t know much about comics.”

She’s spent over a year as an official author on 30joursdeBD, and she’s looking for work, so if you have anything to offer, feel free to write to her! And what about projects? “I’m creating new stories to adapt them into a real comic-book, a real one, stories that you’ll be able to read page by page on my blog.”

And now, time for our regular questions!

Cats or dogs?

Cats only like you if you feed them, they are needy, jealous, moody, will never let you sleep because they’re up to no good at night and eat hamsters… That’s probably why I prefer them to our canine friends with their loyalty and creepy unconditional love!”

What are the latest things you liked in movies, music, books and comics?

My bird brain really gorged on the Lone Ranger recently because there’s real cowboy jewels there, with Johnny Depp inside (and I saw it in an empty cinema), Prisoners because of Jake Gyllenhaal (and his squirrel under Prozac frenetic blinking all the way through the film), and Kick Ass 2 because it made my hop for 2 hours! Musically, I haven’t kept up since Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus and Rihanna are all over the charts. Instead, I play my banjo on the porch in my rocking chair. In books, The Life of Pi and in comics, “Live long and Fat” by Leslie Plée and “My Life” by Vincent Lévêque.

Who are the main artists you like, and whose blogs you visit a lot?

I follow Romain Pujol, who made me want to create comics when I was his blog in 2007, so thank you Romain. I follow Alexandre Arlène and Kek also. Thomas Priou, and Netch’s blog too, because they are funny and touching.

Tell us what you enjoy in life, your pleasure, pastimes, vices, everyday pleasures.

TEA. I worship my teacup in the morning, in the evening, and all the ones in between, without forgetting pizzas, lasagna and tomatos. I also appreciate the days when I can go to bed a 11pm, watch the stars when I go to bed at 3am with the window wide open even though it’s -10°C outside, cheesy music from the 80s-90s, drawing for Sirop de Moineau, and cutting a squirrel’s nails in the morning.

Do you have a phobia? If so what is it?

Travelling by plane and… zombies. But I’m getting help by watching Walking Dead, and ever since I started I’ve been having nightmares… There must be a correlation, but what is it?

To finish off, ask yourself a question that would’ve liked to have been asked and the answer it if you want.

“Moino, can you tell us what’s next for you in the world of comic blogs?” Oh, what a pertinent question! Well, I’d like to progress more and more, meet more new authors, encounter new opportunities and of course, release my own comic book!”

 

And to see Moino's Illustrated FML, click here

 

Another one down, but how many to go? Many more we hope! We’ll leave you for now with a Christmas tune from way back, but it’s still fantastic. Here is Billy Idol doing Jingle Bell Rock. And for those of you not in the Christmas spirit and hate the whole idea, here’s a picture that might make you smile. See you next week!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1421 - Illustrated FML - On 12/06/2013 at 11:54am by FML - 6 comments

The Best of The Worst of FML

 

It's been almost 5 years since FML was launched. Yes, 5 years. I'm not going to go into how wonderful it feels to be part of this whole adventure, that would be uncharactaristically upbeat of me. Instead, I'm going to delve into the murky undercurrents of FML. The back waters. The dark side of the moon, or should I say, the backside of FML. The FMLs that we could never ever publish.

A suitable analogy for searching for FMLs to post is this: when I'm cleaning my cat's litter tray with the little spatula, sifting through the gravel to pick out the poo, I feel like the unluckiest gold miner in the world. Looking for decent FMLs is a bit like that. Some shine like gold, some just shine like... well, shit. Here's a few examples of the ones that got away. These are the Best of the Worst. Read on; don't say we didn't warn you.

 

      "Today, the Empire State Building fell on my dick. FML"

      "NO one is there in the classroom and I’m Daddy are the don’t so show off their own project management of ill send a message for my I was going TO be afraid that what you have a bed like the number I’m thinking of ill give you a million dollars in the classroom"

      "Today, I woke up and saw my husband Watching tv. He said I hate cooking. Then he told me he liked chopping me up like a potatoe. I got scared and ran to my neighbours we got married and had 14 kids then I woke up this morning to find my 14 kids chopping potatoes with my name on it I screamed. FML"

      "(Johnny Cash Voice) I see you drivin’ round town with that girl that i love, and i am like FML. I guess that the change inside of my pocket was not enough, and i am like forget you, AND.. FML. Said If i was richa, i would still be witcha. Hm, well ain’t that some sea biscuits. FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

      "Today, I had to change my Facebook status to “Don’t you hate it when your penis falls off due to a rare disease and you have to have surgery to convert your finger into a new one….” I’ve lost three fingers."

      "i ate my childs fetus last tuesday .. im no longer a grandmother FML"

      "i met this guy who similar to Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine movie version, without any beards on his face. After some sleepovers I realized that he is only after my pockets. FML"

      "Today, I Died on the toilet whilst emptying my vowels"

      "Today, my best friend stole every single hair pin I have. Tomorrow, i’m entering the World Hairpin Competition in London. FML"

      "Today the aliens who had abducted me just let me off their ship after several extensive anal probes. Then I went to the doctors because i was very constipated. the doctor gave me an X-ray that found that equipment was still in my arse. unfortunately during the surgery they cut off my penis. FML"

 

And that's just 10 of the weirdest submissions out of the millions we've had. If you enjoyed, feel free to let us know in the comments, and we might make a regular thing out of this blog article.

I'll leave you there for now, hope you are all doing OK. Remember to be excellent to each other and to brush your teeth as often as possible.

#1420 - About FMyLife - On 11/28/2013 at 9:03am by Alan - 133 comments


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