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The Best of the Worst #26

Hi gang! How are you doing? We said in August that we'd be back in September, so here we are. It's been a weird old month, people have been on vacation, then returned and now summer is almost over and we have to get used to the idea that it's no longer all fun and games in the sun. But the weirdoes never go away. They send us strange, unpublishable FMLs, and we just keep stockpiling them. Let's take a look.  

For the people who have never seen this section of FML before: we get sent lots of FMLs, each day, all day. We only publish a few due to the fact that a lot are not very good, copies of old FMLs or just plain old rubbish. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories, if you can call them stories. That's what we post in this column. This is a collection of the best of the worst FMLs that people have sent in. Have a look at this month's bunch.
 

Facial frustration 

Today, I wish dr phill would jus grow a beard all ready, I’m tired of seeing him with jus his mustache. Lol

Dialogue

MY MUMS EMBARRASSING. me: I’m hungry Mum: I’m cliff, drop over sometime? Me: are you fu*king kidding me.? Everyone: Trees: Birds: -.-


Oh the humanity

Today, I went and eat mcdonald , I ask for a curry sauce , they say it’s only available for nuggets


Man, I feel like a woman

Today, I found out my parents are gay with each other. So now I have 2 dads just one looks like a woman FML


Book learnin'

Today, I must have to read a book from my parants book reading is sooo bullshit FML


Insanity

Today, i was listening to BOTDF which stands for blood on the dance floor its a band theres a guy named dahvie vanity and i told my friend i have vanity insanity she replied to me society needs clarity and more manatees because humanity cant exist with out them thats just insanity F my friends. FML


Wrong direction

Today, I loved One Direction. I then realized once a Directioner, always a Directioner. People just don’t understand our love for them. FML.

Causality

Today, I had to get a fake leg and my mother died. FML


It's a gas gas gas

Today, my dad turned off all the hot water in the house, so trust me not to know that hot water is a gas. I hopped in the shower waiting for it to get warm but then my mum told me it’s a gas and that I had to have my shower in ice water! FML


Puppet master

Today, this guy stuck his finger puppet up my ass and he did it infront of his gf and she now hates me! FML


That's it for September. We'll probably be back next month for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird ramblings to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
 

 

 

Bonus track: This person thinks that saying FML is like being… suicidal?

Wise words

Why does everyone use FML?Does anyone know the song “I hope you dance”?Its says “never take one breath for granted” so by saying FML is saying you want to die..Think before you tell/type

#1610 - About FMyLife - On 09/16/2016 at 9:24am by Alan - 33 comments

Top comments

  • after reading these...
    everyone: trees: birds: -.-

    #2 - On 09/16/2016 at 11:50am by vaderismyfriend

    See in context

  • If you ate McDonald, does that mean no-one's taking care of the farm? I wondered why the song was in past tense. Clearly that nursery rhyme is darker than I thought.

    *minor key* "Old McDonald had a farm ..." *shot of empty swingset* "Ee ey ee ey ohhh..."

    #4 - On 09/16/2016 at 12:16pm by Baustigt

    See in context

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