Saint Patrick's Day comes to FML!
Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day! To celebrate this day, as well as its country of origin, we've selected a few FMLs (and translated some VDMs, from the French website) about Ireland, the Irish and drunken celebrations as a whole.
Here are those few fun and sometimes intoxicated stories, all relating to this special day. First of all, let's go check out Ireland:
Today, a group of wild Irish students absolutely insisted on taking a selfie with me, to prove to their friends back home that here in France, they also celebrate Saint Patrick's Day. I'm just a garbageman, dressed in regulation green overalls. FML
Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML
Today, during a school trip to Ireland, I tried taking a souvenir picture of a sheep wearing my sunglasses. So, if you ever see a sheep running past with sunglasses on, they're mine. FML
Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML
Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML
What would Saint Patrick's Day be without a nice cold beer. Or some whiskey. And maybe another beer. While you're at it, get me two more whiskeys. Some more beer? Sure, pour it on.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
For today, you are allowed just this once to dress in green, dye your hair ginger and make the most of the industrial breweries. Not that all Irish people are drunken redheads. Happy Saint Patrick's Day!