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The Best of the Worst #18

September! The summer is over, everyone has forgotten about their vacations, so to boost morale, we're delving once more into the nooks and crannies of the FML postbag, to check out the stuff that never would've been published, not for love or money. This column is so popular, it's bigger than… Hey, that was John Lennon's line. Anyway, let's get on with it.

For the people who have never seen this column before: we get sent heaps of FMLs, each day, every day. We only publish a small amount, due to the fact that a lot have been seen before, or are simply too boring. But we also get sent really weird shit, and that's what we post here. This is a collection of the best of the worst FMLs that people have sent in to us. Check this month's selection out.
 

Se7en 

Today, I realized how much i poo when i dont have school this is my 7th time pooping FML

Class dismissed

NO one is there in the classroom and I’m Daddy are the don’t so show off their own project management of ill send a message for my I was going TO be afraid that what you have a bed like the number I’m thinking of ill give you a million dollars in the classroom

Do you like worms?

Today, things got freaky with my girlfriend, no not freaky bed freaky. Freaky as in she tried shoving worms up my anus. FML

Oh, and by the way…

I’m a broke ass N***A. It took me sex fucking months to make $1500. I bought a $1500 car cash from some HOOD RAT off craigslist…. i drove it to work…6 hours later it DIED. THE PIECE OF SHIT GAVE OUT AFTER 6 HOURS…. and the mechanics don’t know whats wrong with it. my girl bit my dick off. FML
 

Voom

my friend just voomed into my google screen, i have an hp laptop fml.
 

The crying game

Today I fell on A stomp and hit my head on the Punic table in front of middle schoolers so I cried
 

Meanwhile…

my toddler shat on my face it sprfayed everywherethen it passed jizz. i then left my house and got ran ovcer by my brotrher he then got a glock 16 and shot me in both balls . FML
 

No warnings

You see, I sometimes like to dress up like a bafoon on random occasions and I give no warnings, and so, my family had some friends over, that some I thought were cute. I dressed up like a black lady with terrible makeup, in a choir outfit. Then turned on the lights. They don’t look at me the same.
 

Shapes

Today, the saliva that dried at the side of my mouth formed into a penis. FML
 

Nuts

Today, i performed annul on a squrriel

 

That's it for this month. We'll be back in October some time with a some more weird-ass FMLs, because there's plenty more in the vaults. You can probably see some yourself by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very start, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird FMLs to try and get them published here, it won't work. Take care!
 

 

Bonus track: An important question.
 

Who is that guy?

Today, who the fuck is Charles. FML

#1544 - About FMyLife - On 09/21/2015 at 5:21am by Alan - 53 comments

Top comments

  • Who the fuck is Charles. The great existential question. Why are we here? Why is Charles here? If Charles falls in the woods and no-one's there to hear it, can we still laugh at him?

    #1 - On 09/21/2015 at 12:13pm by Baustigt

    See in context

  • Ha, nothing like giving annul to a squirrel, after your girlfriend shoves some worms up your ass. Who else is feeling orgasmic?

    #14 - On 09/21/2015 at 3:01pm by chuka81

    See in context

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