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The Best of the Worst #15

We hadn't forgotten! You can stop sending your e-mails asking when we were going to post the Best of the Worst article, it's finally here. It's the June edition, and it's #15 of our compilation of weird and wonderful submissions. Time to have another good laugh at the people who seem to have a tenuous grasp of reality. Here we go!

For the few newbies who have no idea what the concept is: we get sent thousands of FMLs every day. We only publish a handful because most are shite. Well, to be fair, most are mediocre, but then there are those which are batshit insane. This is a collection of some of the best of the shittiest FMLs that people have actually sent in via the submit-your-FML box. People actually wrote these. No, really, they really did. Check them out.
 

Turned on cubist 

Today, i thought it was cool that i had procrastinated from doing my english project the previous day. I thought about it and then I realized how dumb it was that for my prorastinating, I was solving a rubix cube for 3 hours and masturbating with bubble wrap. FML.

Wheelchair blues

This morning i woke up and realized… I am Stephen Hawking… FML Who does Christopher Reeves wish he could be? Christopher Walkin!
 

Lost

Today I finally reached some sort of island. I have my cellphone and a granola bar. FML.
 

House

my phsyciatrist for 5 years gave me vicadin hen gave up on me i was 6 years old
 

Love is…

Today I got dumped for another guy that she youst to like she was just using me to make him jelious FML
 

Sensitivity

Today, I saw a person a few feet ahead of me I assumed was dressed in the Chick-fil-A cow costume. Trying to be funny, I yelled several times, “EAT MORE CHICKEN!” Then, the costumed cow turned around. Turns out it wasn’t the Chick-fil-A cow at all, but a muslim woman dressed in a spotted burka. FML
 

James H.

Today, the lead singer from metalica gave me an autograph the when i left the cosert i got juped by 5 guys no my arm is broken possibly a cuncusion and i have no autotograph. Fuck my life!!!!!!!!
 

Keep on truckin'

I went on a date with this girl who I seriously thaught was the one. Before we left a resturaunt I went to the b-room and gave her the keys to my car. When I came out I saw her deeply making out with this fat trucker! Tonge and everything! ON THE HOOD OF MY CAR! I set off my car alarm and wentinside
 

Butt bomb

Today I shoved a fire cracker up my anus…. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to pretend to lite it…. He did…. Now i’m in the hospital wit a blown up ass
 

Bageled


TODAY I WAS AT WORK AND I WAS EATING A BAGEL WITH COFFEE. WHEN A HOT CHICK WALKED IN THEN ROOM. I SPILLED MY COFFEE ALL OVER MY PUBIC AREA AND DROPPED MY BAGEL ON MY SHOE. THEN I SCREAMED OH S***, AND I REALIZED THAT THE HOT CHICK WAS MY BOSS. FML

That's it for June. We'll be back next month with a some more of these, because there's quite a few of them in stock. If you enjoyed them, you can probably see others by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these are all collected from the website since its launch, so don't bother trying to send in daft FMLs to try and get them published here, it won't work. See you !

 

Bonus track: People take not being published very seriously, like this person did. Subsequently, we get sent this sort of thing.

Not the knees

This site sucks. I came up with way better stuff, than the junk posted here. But mine wasn’t published. To the jerks who hit “No”, I hope you scrape your knees.

#1525 - About FMyLife - On 06/24/2015 at 4:06am by Alan - 74 comments

Top comments

  • Okay... but who here HASN'T orgasmed once or twice to the sweet sweet sound of bubble wrap?

    #1 - On 06/24/2015 at 12:07pm by Baustigt

    See in context

  • I want to repeatedly slap most of these people in the face with a dictionary.

    At least I can relate to being called a cow and masturbating to bubble wrap.

    #3 - On 06/24/2015 at 12:52pm by Welshite

    See in context

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