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The Best of the Worst #12

Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you are all doing OK, because these people certainly haven't. 

A quick reminded for those of you who are just discovering this thing: FML gets sent stories every day, a lot of them. Very few are actually posted on the front page every day, because many aren't very funny or interesting. But a small portion a just downright weird. This monthly collection is just us showing you the weirdest of the bunch, because we think they're unwittingly funny in their own, batshit way. Check out this month's drunken ramblings.
 

The Atkins diet

Today in sports studies i was trying to do my work, i then got lectured by my teacher and my best friend made me laugh all the way threw his lecture by saying “bumhole” repeatidly. The only foods now containing Carbohydrates are “bumholes”

That's cold

Today, I found out that my dad is also my eskimo brother. FML
 

Got milk?

Today, my vagina fell off in a dumpster and i cried really hard causing my asshole to lactate
 

GTA 45 : Made-Up City

Today, while walking to my new Ferrari I saw a big scratch,I’m the super firing intendent … I fired him and in the process of writing this I found 5 grand in the seat saying don’t fire me… I feel breathing on my neck me get arrested for “grand theft auto… Fml
 

Shoulda toed the line

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I had a toe. FML.
 

Q-Tipped

wow whats with men and rolling some sad sad sad cigs….lol….wow hes a sad sad person… my fiance is an ass he says its better then nothing. i would rather have nuthing. its as small as a Q-tip. lol FML
 

Cats rule the world

Today my cat crawled in my vagina and it hasn’t come out yet. Should I call someone for help? FML
 

Keeper

Today, I went to my Mother’s funeral, and my boyfriend and I walked up to her coffin and he ran away. He was gone for along time so I went to check on him. apparently, Dead people turn him on and he was jacking off to the thought of my dead mother. He has also done this at his grandma’s funeral.
 

Can't say we have

Today, I broke a gas station. Did you? FML
 

Literary

I was looking at at epic fail pictures. When laughing so hard at one literary whit my pants. Talk at failing. Then the next to hours attempted to shat what off the floor. Later my dad came on in. Stared at the whit. And laughed his head off and said” nice dickbag”
 

That's it for this month. We'll be back in a month with some more, but if you enjoyed reading these, you can try and spot some more weird stuff by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. Oh, and as usual, these are all compiled from the website/app since the very beginning, so to all of you who've tried sending in odd FMLs to try and get published here: we know who you are. Be excellent to each other, and see you next month!

 

Bonus not-really-hidden, track. We're not really sure what this guy is on about, it's all over the place this one. It seems that person writing it was also smoking crack at the same time. We're not sure.

 

Like a BOSS

Today,theBOSSright as I tried leave called and I answeredNtold HIM off for20minutes telling errthing erryone had to say Bout him and all my deepest secrets about him I brought it up.I THOT I wasFIREDHe said”I called TO ask IF you wanted someX-tra HrsBUT”I’ll send your last chEck 2 U IN THE MAIL”.FML

#1506 - About FMyLife - On 03/03/2015 at 9:13am by Alan - 119 comments

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