Blog main page | RSS feed | All posts

Illustrated FML (339) - About FMyLife (100) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (18) - Pictures (14) - Books (9) - Special guests (8) - Competitions (6)

The Best of the Worst #10

Oh dear, it's nearly Christmas. We've got ourselves into the spirit of things by eating undercooked turkey drumsticks and hurling abuse at the TV. But even while we were giving The Good Wife the finger, we still remembered to get together this early Christmas present for all you good little boys and girls out there. Yes, it's the usual collection of weird and wonderful FMLs from the bottom of the submissions bag. Get ready to scoop your eyeballs back out of your drinks. Here we go. 

For those of you who don't know, the perfect analogy for this article would be that it's a bit like if a restaurant had a second menu, containing all the failed attempts at receipes they'd tried and turned out absolutely awful. The stories below are failed FMLs, sent in by actual people who thought we were actually going to post them. Poor souls. Anyway, here we go for this month's pick.
 

The Pooter

So my brother got up from his laptop for a funeral and said to me, “don’t touch my compooter” and I, ever sarcastic, came up with, “don’t worry, I hate it because of the Pooter but I love the COM” I managed to yell this across the room. In front of my stepfathers grieving family. FML

GPS

Today, someone tweeted that there was a possible missing person in Paris, France. I said I would help, as I was staying in Paris. I searched for two hours around hotels in the area where the person might be, to no avail. It was then that my parents informed me that we were in Phoenix, not Paris. FML
 

Where is my mind?

I am working in Indonesia, but I am not Indonesian It’s really fantatic that i live in abroad
 

You don't understand me, mom

I’m trying to go punk for a while and today I got an iPod as a gift…why don’t ppl get it??? FML
 

Casino

Today, on the Rez some were about in Montana I walked in on my boss red fether fucking my wife fly trap and then my boss told me I was fired from the casino and that he took my native pride away…FML…
 

E.R.

Today,my daughter got sent home because she was laughing in the AIDS and HIV unit…….my daughters 5 still don’t know how she got there.

The Christmas Spirit

Today, my deaf bus driver played crappy Christmas music and the only girl singing to it is a Jew
 

We need to talk

Today,lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about and me having sex
 

White Christmas

Today, as a 14 year-old boy, have decided to masterbate for my first time. Halfway through, my mom walked in on me to remind me of our Christmas trip. Guess who isn’t coming. FML
 

The sweet smell of success

My little brother just straight up sniffed my butt because hr thought i farted
 

That's it for now. We'll be back in 2015, with more stories about things that we can pretend to understand. If you enjoyed reading these, keep an eye for more by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website. Oh, and as usual, these are all compiled from the website since it started out, so to all of you who've tried sending in weird FMLs to try and get on this page: don't bother. Until next time, be excellent to each other and have a wonderful Christmas and a fun New Year's eve party.

 

 

Bonus not-really-hidden, track. This one is special because it represents 87% of the stories we get sent, stories from teenagers who have had something "horrible" happen to their precious phone.

 

Phone story #57664

Today, all day I kept dropping my phone in it didn’t crack I thought it was invisible but then I drop it on carpet in in crack tell me how tht happens Fml

#1488 - About FMyLife - On 12/11/2014 at 8:46am by Alan - 48 comments

Top comments

  • That last one... Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

    I don't know why I'm always surprised at the sheer idiocy of these failed posts, but thanks for giving me another laugh. :)

    #1 - On 12/11/2014 at 11:33am by Hiimhaileypotter

    See in context

  • Their grammar makes my head hurt.

    #2 - On 12/11/2014 at 11:35am by brookenicolee29

    See in context

Comments

    Loading...

Comment this

Make sure your text complies with our rules