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Landvaettr's Illustrated FML

Here we go again! Yes, it's illustrated FML time again. This time, we're travelling to Paris, France, home of le croissant, le Citroën car and le rude waiters who tell you, "Oh you silly man, you can't have red wine with fish, nom de Dieu, were you born in a barn?" Here we go for a trip round the mind of a man with a strange nickname, here we go for a chat with...


"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To put out ducks on fire.

Self-portrait Landvaetrr by Landvaetrr

This week, it's Landvaettr's turn. I don't know why he's called that, it's not his real name. I'm not at liberty to divulge his real name, probably because he's a teacher and doesn't want his students to know his real identity. He's 26 years old and as I said, he lives in Paris. As all good illustrators, he has a wonderful blog for you to check out. He's made an illustrated FML for us, and it's quite fantastic. He's also answered some of my stupid questions in a patient and polite manner.

So, who is this guy, and what does he want? "I'm a high school teacher, I teach plastic arts. As for my spare time, I'm usually at home drawing, trying to finish my projects, trying to have some sort of a social life, or wasting my time playing video games." Hmmm, sounds like the members of the FML team. Except for me. I have an amazing social life, I hang out with the rich and famous, I jet-set around the world... OK, no one will believe that. Landvaettr claims that he loves the money that his job earns. Well, we all do. Who doesn't? It allows us to buy wooly hats and electric blankets. "I don't have much expenses, so I'm really raking it in!" he says. He also says what a lot of illustrators seem to say in that he lacks time to get things done. Drawing seems to take up a lot of their time, which is weird because the cat I drew last week only took me a few minutes.
Speaking of projects, he's got a small "minimalist" comic on the go called "Small Stories of Asgard", which you can check out on his blog. He's also working on a retro platform game for the Gameboy, as well as a table-top role playing game. He says he also wants to go into medieval reconstitutions, since now he's got the cash required to buy the equipment. Lucky guy.

He admires Ripley, the character played by Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies, but he says, "the only thing I'll never understand about her is why she goes back to save a cat, risking her life in the first movie." I have two cats, and I'd probably do the same. Well, maybe not the cat that screeches in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason, because she's losing her marbles a bit. Cat Alzheimer's: it's a real thing.

For work, he's usually in front of his computer, even if he's using a traditional pencil and paper. He started drawing as a kid, and even though he's aware of the cliché, states that he "never stopped" as an adult. He's inspired by a bit of everything, comics, illustrations, music, "the girl next door's butt, etc." He name-checks authors and film makers such as Tolkien, J. Howe, Allan Lee, J.B. Monge, Miyazaki, Zemeckis, Besson, Gotlib, Moebius... The list goes on.

He enjoys Jaffa cakes, because he thinks they are posh. He really liked Breaking Bad and the last Daft Punk album. He's really passionate about scandinavian stuff. Mythology, mainly. He mentions a book called "Yggdrasill, the religion of the ancient scandinavians" by Régis Boyer", and I don't think it's a joke. He likes video games such as Chivalry by Torn Banner Studios. So what about artists and illustrators? He mentions the french artists Boulet, Tarmasz, Yohan Sacré and A.F.P. He also mentions that his main fear is the fear of dying. "That would piss me off". Well, that's normal... Isn't it?

It's on that particularly joyful note that the interview trails off into the distance. To take us back into the light, here's a song that always puts a spring into anyone's step (unless you're clinically dead inside). And why not have a .gif of a laughing duck? Until next week, remember, life is what you make it. Be excellent to each other, and get a cat if you're lonely, they're bundles of fun.



What about you? Think you've got talent and want to contribute to the illustrated FML? Send us an email to but only send us your blog's address and a few samples of your work. No need to create an illustrated FML straight away.

#1440 - Illustrated FML - On 03/18/2014 at 11:08am by Alan - 6 comments

Top comments

Fantastic illustrated FML Landvaettr! In fact it's the best I've ever seen - well done!

#1 - On 03/22/2014 at 7:08pm by BeachGirl27

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Awesome job!

#2 - On 03/22/2014 at 7:19pm by TheSophster

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