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Cendres's illustrated FML

Hello everyone! It’s Saturday once again, so let’s delve into the murky world of illustrated FMLs and see what we can come up with. If you’re a Harry Potter fan, this will be right up your street as well. This week we’re crossing over with our VDM counterparts and welcoming a French artist called Sandre Lepile, AKA Cendres.

He’s 36 and lives in Angoulême, in the middle of France, a town famous for its Cartoon festival as well as being the place where the strawberry was invented in 1987. So, who is this guy? “I’m a journalist at the Daily Planet, specializing in culture: movies, expositions, novels, comics. But I like to be served coffee and croissants, I’ve been told that I do it rather splendidly, with a soupçon of arrogance.”

His school days were particularly terrible, so bad in fact that “if you mention them three times in front of a mirror, they appear in order to brutally murder you.”

His current projects include filling his blog with other 120 notes about the world of Harry Potter, but as he’s superstitious, he won’t let on about anything else he might have planned for the future.

So, we haven’t learned very much about Cendres. Maybe the standardized questionnaire that we’ve got here at FML will reveal some vital information. Here we go:

Cats or dogs?

I had written some sexual innuendo, but my wife found it very vulgar and demanded that I change it. I can only obey her upturned eyebrow, dilated nostrils and reproachful look, and answer seriously: both.

What are the latest things you enjoyed at the movies, in books, in music and comics?

At the movies, I recommend a French movie: Le Prénom (the Surname). It’s funny, intelligent and rare.

In music, unfortunately, I have bad listening ears and my choices may make yours bleed.

In literature, go back to a good old classic and read Prelude to Foundation by Isaac Asimov.

In comic books, of course you must read the latest one by Piratesourcil and Joueur du Grenier.

Who are the main artists you enjoy and whose blogs you visit regularly?

Piratesourcil, because as well as being a talented, he’s a nice guy.

Paka, because his tetchiness makes us want to latch on to him, and as a result, it makes him even tetchier.

Schmoll, because he likes to throw himself into huge graphic challenges.

Ben Dessy, because you just have to check out his blog to love him.

Tell us what you like in life, your passions, pastimes, vices, and little everyday pleasures.

To relax, between my work, my family life and drawing at night, I like sleeping. A lot. It’s quite a rare pleasure, but a very nice one. As for vices, I don’t have any, obviously.

Can you tell us a crap joke? Possible joker: if you don’t have a joke, you can tell us your biggest FML.

I have two jokes! Maybe you’ve heard them before, well, we’ll see.

The first one:

If after you got really drunk one night your wife makes you breakfast, massages your feet and lets you watch TV while she does the housework, it’s not because you’re still drunk, it’s because the day before, coming home, you got the wrong house.

The second one:

A guy wakes up at home, after a drunken night out. His wife has made him breakfast in bed, toast, a flower in a glass and all the trimmings. Surprised, the guy asks her why he’s getting so much attention. She says, “Well, last night, you came home so drunk that you destroyed the table in the living room, broke three vases and then crashed out in the bed with your clothes still on. I was furious, and when I tried to take your pants off to put you to bed, you shouted at me, “Don’t touch me bitch, I’m married!”

Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it?

I’m really afraid that Harry Potter fans will recognize me in the street and will savagely beat the crap out of me for what I dared to do to the saga.

To finish off, ask yourself a question that you would’ve liked to have been asked and then choose whether or not to reply.

I would’ve asked: Between 1 and 10, where do you see yourself physically? And I’d probably answer: 10. But all this is hypothetical, of course. We will never know.

 

Now, to see Cendres's illustrated FML, click here.

 

So, there we go, another illustrated FML is in the can. Thanks to Cendres for taking part, we had a lot of fun. Now it’s time to say goodbye for this week. Next week we’ll be recognizing the power of cats that can paint and then probably crying over the end of Breaking Bad.

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DeviantArt. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!

#1408 - Illustrated FML - On 09/24/2013 at 3:48am by The FML Team - 21 comments

Top comments

That is cool. Hp fan ftw

#6 - On 09/28/2013 at 3:42pm by areakiller525

See in context

100% concentrated wit. i like this guy.

#4 - On 09/28/2013 at 3:27pm by Zestus

See in context

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