We could be lazy and start off with a "your momma" joke, but your mom is so nice that she'd probably bake us a cake and pat us on the head, and those jokes are crap anyway. Because most moms are nice. We want to be adopted by Kitty from That '70s Show, Mrs Cunningham from Happy Days, or the coolest mom ever: Lorelei Gilmore from The Gilmore Girls. Admittedly, some moms are evil; Victoria Grayson in Revenge is pretty dire as a mom, she'd probably stab you in the nuts while kicking a badger's face off. But these moms are all fictional of course. We're more concerned about all the real moms out there, the ones that make up the FML family. Those moms can be something of a mixed bunch; from evil to embarrassing, from silly to drunk and disorderly. But all in all, we love them dearly, otherwise, we wouldn't be writing about them so much. They fill up the pages of FML like drunks at a wine tasting and we can't get enough of them. So from all of us at FML, Happy Mother's Day to all the FML mothers out there!
i got sick while pregnant with my oldest child and was in the hospital for a month and a half (he was born 2 months premature and i almost needed a liver transplant) instead of telling my friends i was in the hospital for an auto immune disorder, she told them i was on heroin and my then boyfriend was my drug dealer.
my hair was falling out because i had been extremely sick and almost died, she told people it was because of my addiction.
Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…