Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had a job interview with an environmentalist organization. I got the job, my FIRST job, a great first job doing something I am passionate about. An hour after the interview was over, they called me back and asked if I was 18. I'm 17, and unemployed again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (7536)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:32am - work - by taylrrina (woman) - United States (Washington)

taylrrina's comment about their FML

On the form they DID ask if i was legally able to work in the US and if I was 21 or over (for driving purposes only, this was not a requirement for the job), but no where did it ask if i was 18. I brought my resume to the interview, and had i not given them this resume saying I was a current student at my high school and Running Start, they would not have asked if I was 18 or not.
and to those scoffing about my greener practices and being excited about this job-- this was a great job making $9-$14/hr, anybody getting their first job would love to make $14/hr starting!
it really did suck day of, i was supposed to go in the next day for training.'

but i have another interview this coming week and life goes on :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (3249)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by et510 (man) - United States (Georgia)

et510's comment about their FML

It was a parking lot for a grocery store. My car is a beige '82 300D Mercedes. I don't think it looks that suspicious. I've never been in a car accident in my whole entire life, then when I moved to Georgia, I was in 3 within my first year living here. I didn't cause any of them. If that happened to you, you'd understand why I park in a parking lot to let the traffic go by. I know it sounds shady, but after I explained this to you, does it still sound shady? Apparently the cops think so.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48637) - you deserved it (2160)

On 07/18/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by nicefamily (man) - United States (Georgia)

nicefamily's comment about their FML

for any interested - my brother didn't have a license because it had already been revoked for DUI's. he blew a 0.24 on 'my' DUI. he was about 40 lbs heavier and 4 inches taller than my license info, so the cops didn't care. i did tell them who he was, but i haven't seen him in years and have no idea where he is or if he's alive or not. i reckon every family has at least one loser to deal with.

See all the comments

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML


I agree, your life sucks (48570) - you deserved it (7288)

On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

lawliet_L's comment about their FML

1) it doesn't matter that i'm a teen or not.
2) i have a boyfriend i've been dating for about a year. so i'm not a whore. stfu
3) she didn't take any, and it was to the situation.
4) we talked about it and it's fine. because: 'if you wanna make love, use the glove'.
no joke she said that.
so i'm relieved

now gotta hide 'em from dad. XD
and yes my parents are together for the person who asked. :)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I quit my job because my company wouldn't give me the raise I've been asking for for 2 years. I just saw the ad on Craigslist for my replacement position. The starting salary is above what I was asking for. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47955) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:50pm - work - by taylorgo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

taylorgo's comment about their FML

Hey all - Thanks for the comments... I did have another job before quitting and I did give my 2 week notice. I'm not stupid in this kind of economy. When giving my 2 week notice, my boss offered to match my current salary and I denied it. I then saw the craigslist posting for more money after I already denied what my boss tried to match for me since I felt it was too late and my new job paid way more.

Therefore the uneducated, stupid, and not doing well at my job part doesn't apply. However the undervalued, stupid boss does. :)

See all the comments

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49636) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

meg_xox's comment about their FML

So this is my FML (and I'm pretty overjoyed that it actually got accepted), but to everyone who is talking about the pipes...this is a house we're renting and we didn't know that the pipes were OLD (not cheap). And our landlord never fixed them because it would cost about $17,000 to redo everything. So we had to deal with it. And we found this out AFTER the basement was flooded. So while I appreciate your attempt to insult me, didn't really work =)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42654) - you deserved it (4479)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

kewlcat's comment about their FML

ok , first of all, its not fake.
second of all, i was actually sleeping, more just like, resting, with my eyes closed.
also, i live in vancouver which is just above seattle,
so we have beaches
and we dont get snow.

aaand yes it is really funny to see, just make sure you don't let them get you back ;)

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58524) - you deserved it (3554)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)

hockey9797's comment about their FML

yeah i broke both my arm and leg on my right side and a few ribs it's not fake

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Inod's comment about their FML

I'm the OP, decided to make an account...

Reason I put on so much weight is cause I had a car run up my leg by a 16 year old bitch who was too busy chatting on her phone to even notice she hit me. So after my broken foot, ankle, and leg "healed", I got to go through the process of starting rehab on all the torn stuff in my ankle. 18 months later, I can walk again with only a slight limp. Yay!

Believe me, I'd love to be able to go out for a walk or hit the gym but some days (rainy days especally) going from bed to the bathroom is a chore and any kind of incline or decline hurts still. And I didn't know I was over 330 when I got to the store (got a scale too, 334... what a bitch, huh?) so that was a huge shock. Obviously I know I was overweight, but not this bad.

Thanks to like the 10 people with kind words... the rest of you enjoy your summer, high school starts back up in about 8 weeks.

See all the comments

Today, my sister got her car repossessed. In order to get it back, my mom took $4,000.00 out of my bank account promising she would pay it back within a few months. She lost her job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47282) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:11am - money - by T4K3R5 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

T4K3R5's comment about their FML

Okay im just going to say this now so everyone will get this. I have my OWN bank account that no one has access too accept me. I opened it when i was like 16 and got my first job. I saved the $4000 in a separate account that was in my moms name before i was 16, which i got just from mowing lawns and stuff. So Everyone stop saying "Well your dumb, that's your fault for letting your mom have access to your account". Also im not going to get into details, but it wasn't really my sisters fault, so i don't blame her. My sister and my mom have helped me out with a lot of things too.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (55790) - you deserved it (34145)

On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

expen_dable's comment about their FML

1. my roommates a girl
2. My old roommate and I both bought the bong and split the price but when she transferred colleges she let me keep it
3. my roommate does drink usually 5 nights a week and she is 19 so she isn't exactly law abiding either

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58489) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:04pm - work - by SDworkinggirl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

SDworkinggirl's comment about their FML

Okay so let me clarify some things that people are either stupid or confused about. I voluteered in an organization that has retirement homes all over the country, and helps seniors with limited means. I started volunteering, because it looks good on a resume and I was having a hard time getting a job. So I started volunteering at this retirement home, but I quickly grew to love it, and soon I was working hard because I truely enjoyed visiting with the seniors and delivering mail to them, among the other things I did there. Unknown to me, some of the residents started to complain about how I was nicer and more caring than most of the nurses. They didn't hire me because, I am not a nurse, and I don't have a college degree yet, so there was no position open for me. And the guy who "fired" me let me know why I was being let go, kinda in secret otherwise I doubt I would have been told why they let me go.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

shandrith's comment about their FML

Hi, I'm the one that posted this FML. I know that cheating wasn't a good thing to do, but that wasn't the point of the FML. Had I simply found out that he was cheating with someone else, of either gender as I knew that he was bi when we entered the relationship, I would have said nothing. The reason I posted it, and the reason I do consider it to be an FML is because of the absolute ridiculousness of the fact that we were cheating with the SAME PERSON!!! The three of us have spoken and decided that none of us are going to continue seeing each other. The BF and I were obviously both deeply unhappy, and the third part took advantage of both of us. Ex and I will probably remain friends, and chalk this up to one of those errors in life that are hilarious five years later, but hurt like hell when they happen. #3 can go to hell for all I care

See all the comments

FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: