Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

#4028103
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59960) - you deserved it (4270)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by fmlatmovies (man) - United States (Texas)

fmlatmovies's comment about their FML

actually all you haters out there, i didn't have enough room to put my response!
i actually turned to her and told her to fuck off and to take her annoying fat ass out of the theater because she was blocking the view for everyone and no one could hear the movie over her irritating voice that makes people want to dropkick babies!
that shut her up for the rest of the movie.

See all the comments

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

#4006297
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Sirquo's comment about their FML

Alright, I'm the OP, and I left because I had a migraine and wanted to go lay down. I brought the cake inside and plopped it on the counter, since my parents said they would put it away. I did NOT have a party, and alright, my life sucks because I wanted an ice cream cake. I have no life, I have no friends, make you guys happy?

See all the comments

Today, I had a job interview with an environmentalist organization. I got the job, my FIRST job, a great first job doing something I am passionate about. An hour after the interview was over, they called me back and asked if I was 18. I'm 17, and unemployed again. FML

#3949414
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (7536)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:32am - work - by taylrrina (woman) - United States (Washington)

taylrrina's comment about their FML

OK!
On the form they DID ask if i was legally able to work in the US and if I was 21 or over (for driving purposes only, this was not a requirement for the job), but no where did it ask if i was 18. I brought my resume to the interview, and had i not given them this resume saying I was a current student at my high school and Running Start, they would not have asked if I was 18 or not.
and to those scoffing about my greener practices and being excited about this job-- this was a great job making $9-$14/hr, anybody getting their first job would love to make $14/hr starting!
it really did suck day of, i was supposed to go in the next day for training.'

but i have another interview this coming week and life goes on :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

#3895356
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (3249)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by et510 (man) - United States (Georgia)

et510's comment about their FML

It was a parking lot for a grocery store. My car is a beige '82 300D Mercedes. I don't think it looks that suspicious. I've never been in a car accident in my whole entire life, then when I moved to Georgia, I was in 3 within my first year living here. I didn't cause any of them. If that happened to you, you'd understand why I park in a parking lot to let the traffic go by. I know it sounds shady, but after I explained this to you, does it still sound shady? Apparently the cops think so.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

#3853515
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48644) - you deserved it (2160)

On 07/18/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by nicefamily (man) - United States (Georgia)

nicefamily's comment about their FML

for any interested - my brother didn't have a license because it had already been revoked for DUI's. he blew a 0.24 on 'my' DUI. he was about 40 lbs heavier and 4 inches taller than my license info, so the cops didn't care. i did tell them who he was, but i haven't seen him in years and have no idea where he is or if he's alive or not. i reckon every family has at least one loser to deal with.

See all the comments

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

#3829436
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48578) - you deserved it (7289)

On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

lawliet_L's comment about their FML

1) it doesn't matter that i'm a teen or not.
2) i have a boyfriend i've been dating for about a year. so i'm not a whore. stfu
3) she didn't take any, and it was to the situation.
4) we talked about it and it's fine. because: 'if you wanna make love, use the glove'.
no joke she said that.
so i'm relieved

now gotta hide 'em from dad. XD
and yes my parents are together for the person who asked. :)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I quit my job because my company wouldn't give me the raise I've been asking for for 2 years. I just saw the ad on Craigslist for my replacement position. The starting salary is above what I was asking for. FML

#3804098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47966) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:50pm - work - by taylorgo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

taylorgo's comment about their FML

Hey all - Thanks for the comments... I did have another job before quitting and I did give my 2 week notice. I'm not stupid in this kind of economy. When giving my 2 week notice, my boss offered to match my current salary and I denied it. I then saw the craigslist posting for more money after I already denied what my boss tried to match for me since I felt it was too late and my new job paid way more.

Therefore the uneducated, stupid, and not doing well at my job part doesn't apply. However the undervalued, stupid boss does. :)

See all the comments

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

#3794107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49640) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

meg_xox's comment about their FML

So this is my FML (and I'm pretty overjoyed that it actually got accepted), but to everyone who is talking about the pipes...this is a house we're renting and we didn't know that the pipes were OLD (not cheap). And our landlord never fixed them because it would cost about $17,000 to redo everything. So we had to deal with it. And we found this out AFTER the basement was flooded. So while I appreciate your attempt to insult me, didn't really work =)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

#3792988
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42660) - you deserved it (4479)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

kewlcat's comment about their FML

ok , first of all, its not fake.
second of all, i was actually sleeping, more just like, resting, with my eyes closed.
also, i live in vancouver which is just above seattle,
so we have beaches
and we dont get snow.

aaand yes it is really funny to see, just make sure you don't let them get you back ;)

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

#3777289
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58527) - you deserved it (3554)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)

hockey9797's comment about their FML

yeah i broke both my arm and leg on my right side and a few ribs it's not fake

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Inod's comment about their FML

I'm the OP, decided to make an account...

Reason I put on so much weight is cause I had a car run up my leg by a 16 year old bitch who was too busy chatting on her phone to even notice she hit me. So after my broken foot, ankle, and leg "healed", I got to go through the process of starting rehab on all the torn stuff in my ankle. 18 months later, I can walk again with only a slight limp. Yay!

Believe me, I'd love to be able to go out for a walk or hit the gym but some days (rainy days especally) going from bed to the bathroom is a chore and any kind of incline or decline hurts still. And I didn't know I was over 330 when I got to the store (got a scale too, 334... what a bitch, huh?) so that was a huge shock. Obviously I know I was overweight, but not this bad.

Thanks to like the 10 people with kind words... the rest of you enjoy your summer, high school starts back up in about 8 weeks.

See all the comments

Today, my sister got her car repossessed. In order to get it back, my mom took $4,000.00 out of my bank account promising she would pay it back within a few months. She lost her job. FML

#3523681
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:11am - money - by T4K3R5 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

T4K3R5's comment about their FML

Okay im just going to say this now so everyone will get this. I have my OWN bank account that no one has access too accept me. I opened it when i was like 16 and got my first job. I saved the $4000 in a separate account that was in my moms name before i was 16, which i got just from mowing lawns and stuff. So Everyone stop saying "Well your dumb, that's your fault for letting your mom have access to your account". Also im not going to get into details, but it wasn't really my sisters fault, so i don't blame her. My sister and my mom have helped me out with a lot of things too.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

#3521294
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56729) - you deserved it (34566)

On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

expen_dable's comment about their FML

1. my roommates a girl
2. My old roommate and I both bought the bong and split the price but when she transferred colleges she let me keep it
3. my roommate does drink usually 5 nights a week and she is 19 so she isn't exactly law abiding either

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: