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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

#987396
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116197) - you deserved it (5104)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)

I_Hate_Cars's comment about their FML

To all, thanks for your concern. Don't worry, I'm fine, it was just a bad concussion when I hit the ground that knocked me out. I hope I don't disappoint anybody, but I am not going to sue. A few years in jail ought to be enough for the driver- it was a drunk. Luckily, there was a black and white across the street and got the driver in time. Again, thank you all for your concerns.

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Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

#983205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47272) - you deserved it (17752)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by Lo (woman) - United States (California)

Lohbj's comment about their FML

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML

1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake.

2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out.

3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys.

FML

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Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

#978628
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121728) - you deserved it (11675)

On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

acutedisaster's comment about their FML

I am the author of this post, and no, I could not move to a different seat. The bus was packed like a can of sardines. My seat was actually the only seat open. Lol. I wanted to be nice, so I let him sit next to me. When he was clipping his nails, yes, they were flying EVERYWHERE. I didn't mean to swallow the nail, by the way. It was accidental. Completely. Lol. I can only fit so much in that little submit box. I couldn't explain the entire story.

:)

Now you all know. Trust me, if I had the opportunity to move, I would've. . . .

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Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

#971571
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92250) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Moisdone - United States (Florida)

mdoodo12's comment about their FML

As OP I'd like to say a few things:

-yes, there were pictures. very. very. clear cut. disturbing pictures. as well as equally disturbing comments and wall posts.
-creating a second Facebook account, people, is as easy as creating a separate email address and using that for registration of a new account.
-i was not stalking. we all have random bored moments where we start plugging in random names to see if it will come up. his friend's name came up. one of her friends was my boyfriend. hence the click on his profile. hence....all the rest that followed.
-bizarrely, i did find it amusing. way way deep down. way way after i was finished gagging at work when i found it.
-and to all: deception only creates more problems. whether with other people or with yourself, you'll fuck yourself over at the very least and barest minimum, psychologically.

peace to all.

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Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

#968099
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (309946) - you deserved it (32426)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:21am - love - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

hannah321's comment about their FML

hi, i'm the girl who wrote this originally (i've since got an account so changed my name- maybe some people won't believe that but whatever) and i just want to say in response to some people that it was VERY clear on both sides that we were a couple, we were not friends with privileges.. also i am not a stalker, i just wanted to specify exactly how long we'd been together because it emphasises just how shitty what he did was.. like someone else said, a year doesn't really explain that fully.

maybe he was using me for sex and i was practise, but i'm not as young or naive as some people here seem to think... this isn't my first relationship, but it was my first really serious one hence meeting parents, having sex etc etc.. i thought what i felt towards him was mutual, and i think if many of you had known us as a couple you would be very surprised about what has happened, most people were always commenting on how much he seemed to adore me. right now i have no idea what his motivations were, but everytime i speak to him i want to stab him.. so im refraining from speaking to him or seeking an explanation at the minute

SO thanks to everyone who's been supportive, fuck knows what his problem is but im getting over it seeing as he's been such a dick to me, and i just posted him this link, so any extra abuse toward him would be welcome.. ha

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Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

#948690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77197) - you deserved it (5828)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:58am - love - by forrealiluvmyslf (woman) - United States (Georgia)

forrealiluvmyslf's comment about their FML

The date lasted 4 hours and he took me home with the intention of going home. Not fat, not ugly...His friend ended up inviting him out. I approached him at the club to say hi and kept it moving because I was with friends. I danced with a few other people, including him. He called the next day. I actually made a joke about how funny it would be if I saw him to a friend before we went out. Wasn't down about it, just thought the irony was FML-worthy --- Some of yall are cruel! lol

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Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

#948376
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (73244)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by LonelyFrog (man) - United States (California)

LonelyFrog's comment about their FML

Wow, a couple hate messages in here. Yes it happened, it was for Depeche Mode Release tickets for house of blues on 4/21 and I never said there was no screener. It was the screener that said "congratulations, you're the winning caller" So no busy signal, not even a single ring, just an answer. I was spoken to, but before he could say anything else, I was so excited, my reflexes just hit the end button where my thumb was and it was over. Yes, stupid me, nerves, excitement, motor reflexes whatever. Lost the tickets and someone else got them. End of story. I bought two tickets for August now. $110 each

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Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

#923174
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76624) - you deserved it (10926)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by chococool223 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

chococool223's comment about their FML

okay, i couldnt put to much info in my thread because the 300 word limit kept me from writing too much information.
As a mom, i can't really go around wearing all this fancy makeup or whatever, it would be unreasonable. Also, i cut my hair to about chin length, and dyed it brown (i used to be blonde) because since im a mom, i wanted to look the part.
when i was a model, I was 20-30 lbs underweight, so when I gained 50 lbs, it made a difference to my face.
Also, i was NOT travelling from somewhere in the US to Chicago, i was travelling from my vacation in Korea to Chicago. I have a Dutch passport, so its different there.
but anyways, im loosing weight and i acually got a new passport picture today so i wont be having this problem again

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Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

#915441
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47565) - you deserved it (15282)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:41pm - work - by bdawg923 (man) - United States (New York)

bdawg923's comment about their FML

The spider was on her shoulder to those who asked.

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Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

#902467
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190522) - you deserved it (63913)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

akd_rocks's comment about their FML

Okay I'm the person that wrote this, I wrote it earlier today before I got my account and its one hundered percent true
we talked about family
we exchanged pics but i had never met him before
he was my moms sisters son adn i have never met that part of my family because my mom was disowned for marrying my dad.
his last name was my moms maiden name so i didnt think anything of it especially since its a common last name, SMITH.
soo yes it may seem ridiculous but its real and awful

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Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML

#893690
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67287) - you deserved it (7921)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by ZachooMackoo (man) - United States (Maryland)

ZachooMackoo's comment about their FML

No, it was real. It was at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, which is never at capacity. And the tickets were the southwest airline new cheap ones, I think maybe $50. I went to fan assistance to try to get my ticket, and they said that they didn't even know about it, and the sponsor (southwest) was only there to distribute the flight tickets, then left. I tried calling, and they kept thinking I was trying to get extras for family or something. But, it was not a fake, the tickets were legit.

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Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68297) - you deserved it (4209)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by ready_set_go (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

ready_set_go's comment about their FML

Hey update for everyone:

I decided "surprise" my mother and sister by inviting my new boyfriend over for dinner but didnt say who it was. When he came through the door and I introduced him as my boyfriend they stared shocked at me realizing that they had put their feet in their mouths. And just to add a little more salt to their wounds, I kissed him, smiled sweetly at him and asked my sister and mother "So, what do you think of him again? Im sure he would like to know if you approve."

Needless to say they got the hint that not only do I not have low self esteem but I am VERY PROUD to be his girlfriend lol btw they havent talked crap about him since!

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Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

#852442
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (26183)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Supersonic323's comment about their FML

OK, I'm the OP, let me explain why I fell for it:

-I had very recently received invitations to join two legit honor societies (one I was just inducted to tonight at a formal ceremony at my school, the other has regular meetings and community service projects)
-Believe it or not, I do actually have a 4.0 GPA as a junior and miscellaneous other qualifications, so being "accepted" to this honor society didn't seem to be a stretch or anything
-As I'm ridiculously busy right now, I didn't Google it first or even look too deeply at their website, I just quickly completed the "application" (you go on their website, apply, and then wait to hear from them) which was free

Once I actually got the "acceptance" I called my mom and told her about it. I got off the phone with her and Googled it to get more info about it (I'd never heard of it) and discovered it was a scam. I'm glad I did so because their "initiation fee" was 68 bucks, and I hadn't given them credit card info or anything yet.

Obviously I felt stupid; I called my mom back a second later and told her. I'm just glad I didn't COMPLETELY fall for it... lol. I should have taken more time at the start, but #22 is right; I'm just lucky I didn't lose 68. I lost 10 minutes of time and a chunk of my pride. :P I was also pretty pissed/disappointed, but it's OK; I'm in two ACTUAL honor societies, so whatever... I don't need a fake one. ;)

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